You may not have been birthed in the soil,
and granted,
you will not blossom
when spring melts winters wake
but inside of you
grows a thousand gardens
full of exploding stars.
You are of the earth
and your ashes
have been constructed with stardust,
and set free with the wind.
So you may not have a pretty face,
and your body may hold stories
of too many moonless nights alone.
But if you reach inside,
you will find a forest
for a ribcage
and a restless ocean heart.
So don't ever let anyone tell you
you are nothing.
You are a galaxy
holding a million different planets,
and my dear,
that is not nothing.

I thought I had you there.
For a fragment of a second I had hope in you.

Yes, the girl who strays in the corner of the room who has trouble believing in the force of God actually put hope in you.
Into something.

I knew dissapointment would be inevitable but it was too soon.

I thought I had you there.
For a sick pathetic moment of my life,
I wasted my time on helping you glue back together the pieces you left broken on the floor.

But I had no idea you would take that glue gun and burn my hands together, locking my fingers in a dismantled mess.

I had no idea you could be this sick.

I had no idea I could fall this quick.

I might as well
have no
concept
of object permanence
Because every time
I turn around
things keep shifting
One moment things
are falling to the ground
and then
every thing has settled
A tree
loses it's leaves
but next spring
they will have appeared again
A house catches alight
flames licking the wood
But turning a back to it
for a year
the house is no more
on fire
An ever altering
world
has no concept of
object permanence
because permanent is
is a figment of our imagination

I cant explain how stupid i feel
To ever think this all was real
It's all i think about day and night
And in my mind its such a fight
At night i can not sleep
Because my thoughts are that deep
I let you get inside my head
And let myself be mislead
My hearts in pain
I'm going insane
All i want to do
Is go back and redo
Everything i ever said
And every tear i ever shed
Because in the end
I cant comprehend
Why i was so weak
And what made you unique
Now All i want is for this all to be over
And nothing more to be leftover
Because I want again to feel strong
And feel like i belong
But I dont know how much more i can take
Before i finally break..

Sunshine lightens the day
Masking the darkness inside
Letting you forget
Letting you smile
But when night falls
The portal opens to
The darkness inside
Consuming all Good
And we feel
Alone.
Sad.
Scared.
Tossing and turning
Can't breath
Hearts in pain
Only awhile longer
For the sun will come again
And hide all pain.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"