I didn’t understand emotions,
I thought
They were foreign to me,
Unknown,
Unfeeling,
Unaware.

But now I realise
Inside of me,
All tumbled up in knots,
Lie
Anger,
Sadness,
Loneliness.

It’s the lighter emotions
I don’t recognise,
Joy,
Love,
Happiness.

For there’s always someone
Ready to stab you in the back,
Lie to you to get what they want,
Bring you down,
Kick you,
Till you’re broken,
And bereft.

have you ever talked to a ghost
I have
have you ever looked death in the face and survived
I have
have you ever contemplated joining the dead
I have...many times
yet I relinquish those thoughts
once I consider
I would just be adding pain
to pain
turn around

I have this cause so consuming . . .
like an overdose that's overwhelming

When salt water was as sweet as the memories that washed over my feet by the edge of high tide's completion


"Go find the door to your ambition
before it closes to the winds of desiccation"

The binding has cracked
the paper turned yellow  
Touching ,  now brittled backed
So it has been written "finis" upon the last page of life

The words I collected like seashells
as the wrinkles of face grew to foretell

The foam and waves swept over my toes
as the sand was ****** away from beneath

They say the pain will go away .
then they wish you well ,
. . . turn . . . and walk away

I look back upon life as if it were a dream :
a scheme . . .
a scream . . .
and so naive

"I will check out the skies in Rome ,
I promise now when winter is gone"

I long for the hot sands of purification
Where the bleached bones
have reached end's destination

Somewhere next to a Coptic sea
where time falls short on eternity I will kneel to my desperation


In another year
it will be another day's difference in time ,
as another grain of sand falls it loosens its bind

"Won't you come and bring thirst's renewal of relief ?"

Don't leave me gazing . . .
searching for that distant smile . . . buried in my  beliefs

If not . . . then
let me wish you well . . .
turn . . . and walk away

I remember
the me I was from
traces
I trip over daily
Brief flashes
of the insight
and ability to
share
that made me
someone of value.

Moments of vocal
clarity
that put together
two and two
and it always
came out
four.

Flashes of satyric
humor
that nailed its
subject
to the floor
and walked on it.

A momentarily
brimming mind
with all the
pieces
in their places.

But then
the fog rolls
in again
banishing
the clarity
blanketing the
ardor
making it
impossible
to be the one
I used to be.

Perhaps one
day
I won’t recall-
I’ll learn
to love the
fogginess
And find
the peace
that’s currently
eluding me.
            ljm

I touched the Moon
One night in June
And gave it to a bug.
He carried it home
All alone
And put it on his rug.

Somewhere in between the no-
longer & the still-
to-come
A young women lingering
up above the world so high
On a snow peak in the sky.

Worshiping the sun;
Not the saint -- come it, what may.

Occult spirit burnin. Whirlwind turning.
Incarnated ego be ripped away,
Wind swirling. Spirit turning.
Shower of sparks
Enclosing brightness in dark.
She is a divinatory
Left by society
dazzling
blooming
heedless
heathen

Her eyes glowing
As ethereal stars subside
  And a lonely moon leisurely climes
into heavenly arena
somnambulantly converging with the zenith
Negating nebulous perspectives  
Incandescently filling the void

Resurrecting the chthonic biome—
Reaching out, with new green shoots – invoke life
from within the molten core—purple with an edging of vermillion—
By sunrise to a full-fledged conflagration
Fledgling millennium into oblivion.
Each night-blooming cereus--the crucifix


Blessed Paradox--
Stillness and Motion;
Drifting throughout the cosmos
In a downward motion .

Coming of age--


In sunshine and in shadow



Near rippling rills, kissing a gentle breeze.
Down below green pasture land,
Oranges go bronze, the reds, maroon,
Wherever a grand koa does not stands,
a leeward streamlets flow.


and No mortal could control enigmatical

Between heavenand earth--
stratum lunacy of vertigo

i am a hopeless romantic
with suicidal antics
that cant seem to love herself

she cant seem to nudge herself
out of depressive episodes
but she has expressive goals
to fall in love

to call on love
for several favors
and she has several wagers
that "this one will be 'the one'"
that what ever is done
can be undone
and that she will be okay
because one day love will fix it all

she is a pathetic romantic
with an optimistic aesthetic
and a manic
personality