A flower does not fall when the rain comes
No,
It grows taller than ever before

ive come to realize
that im here all alone
and i’ve tried to be happy
with being unknown.

but its just so hard
with no one around
i have so much to say
but i don't speak a sound.

so i talk to myself
and my thoughts overflow
but they don't listen either
they say i must go.

away, that is
i know they're not wrong
im not wanted here
i just don't belong.

us.
bathing in lava and burning alive
but melting too, into little rivers that
drain into the sky and
down to the earth
like rain

butterflies.
illuminated by light but flying
into the sun
turning into ash with the snap of a-

click goes finger against glass.
i giggle at the sight of hurt people hurting one another.
oh, no wonder this one has a 85% on rotten tomatoes.

the air smells sweet as i close my eyes
clouds and dreams swirl
into blackness that-

i smile at the sight of couples breaking up and getting back together.
this one has a 53%.
makes sense.

lukewarm coffee
still tastes alright
melted ice
still chills

wide ruled paper
still ***** up ink
bleach stained towels
still soak

greasy blowouts
still look okay
chipped gel nails
still shine

broken phone screens
still do turn on
unbound books
still read

insomniacs
still always wake
and the depressed?

they still breathe.

i dont like the way that love ends
i think its time to go numb.

i just keep telling myself to
breathe, but i dont want to
do that anymore
either.

i can’t keep living
thinking about you
not after you broke my heart
and left me all alone.

i cant keep living
trying to understand why you left
i never will.

i can’t keep living
hoping that you’ll come back
and say you were wrong
i’ll be waiting my whole life.

i don’t want to die thinking about you
but I can’t keep living thinking about you either.

im getting anxious again
i was doing so well
but im getting anxious again
and i don't know how to stop.

bathing in lava and burning alive
     but melting too, into little rivers that
     drain into the sky and
     down to the earth
     like rain.

          holding the sun and boiling up
          but glowing too, with light
          traveling through space and time
          from heaven
          and her spawn.
    
               reaching for stars and blistering quick-
  
click goes finger against glass.
i giggle at the sight of hurt people hurting one another.
no wonder this one has a 85% on rotten tomatoes.

               but beaming too, up and about and
               everywhere at once
               like-

swipe goes finger against glass.
i smile at the sight of couples breaking up and getting back together.
this one has a 53%.
makes sense.

everything that i was afraid of
has already happened

and i’m still here

he was all talk
and that says a lot
considering
he rarely spoke
at all.

green yellow red
its time to go home
what do you miss?
shhh can you hear him?

i still lay awake at night
thinking about how you left
you treated me as if i wasn’t alive
like you never loved me to begin with
did you?

i know you did, at one point in time
but its hard.
remember, darling
it’s not that you left
it’s how.

you ignored me
you betrayed me
and then you walked away.
you apologized for leaving
but you never apologized for how you left.

and that’s what hurts the most.

please hold on
even when i dont
and tell me i will be ok
even when i wont

i spend every waking moment thinking about you
you don’t deserve it
and neither do i
but yet here i am
spending every waking moment
thinking about
you.

i take up your
free time.
problem is
you have none.

so i want you to
make time.
problem is
you dont.

there's a reason
its not easy
to get used to the quiet.

as once you're used to the quiet,
your timer's just begun.

oh, how hard it is to face
that what you once loved
is no longer.

and oh, how much harder it is to face
that what you still love
is never coming back.

you act like
loving me is a
curse you count
down
till the day
you can say
goodbye.

she still cries sometimes.
she cries thinking about why he left
why she wasn’t good enough
and what she could’ve done to make him stay.

but she smiles more.
she smiles thinking about her strength
her beauty
her kindness
her care.
how proud she is of herself,
and of the love she gives to the world.

she still cries sometimes,
but she smiles more.
and that’s what she chooses to remember.

why do i mourn the unlocking of my chains?
seems freedom is what i fear most…

it breaks my heart to think
im not worth
what it takes
to hold me in your arms
and never say goodbye.

i dont miss the boy who left
i miss the boy who stayed.

its too bad theyre one in the same.

i’m sorry for it all
i don't know where to start but
it's time for me to go

please let me say goodbye.

wide eyes
sewn shut
20/20 vision
in the dark

darling,

i hope you understand
that our story
is not in my hands.

we used to hold it together
but you ripped out the pages
you gave me the cover.

i don't know how you feel about me anymore.

but i don't have our story
you'll have to write the ending
will it end in glory?

you say that you care
but you don’t say why
am i living a lie
when you tell me goodnight?

do you really love me
or that i love you too?
i wonder what you would do
if i ever left you

would you notice i was gone?
or just move on with your life
would you even bat an eye
and if you did, would you cry?

are you really there for me?
should i trust the things you say?
i think i should go away.

would you let me?

what you see
is what you get!
so sit back, relax,
and close your eyes...

do you know who i am
at 3am
when i lie quietly awake
and think of him?

the walls are up—
you can feel them. your
fingers
graze at their temperament.

ouch, you caught a nick.
so your blood begins to
tric
       kle

and you watch
as your feet begin to
turn that shade of red.
they leave

tracks
as you pace,
you scream,
THIS ISN’T WHAT I WANTED! but

what did you want, my dear?
i’m afraid
those walls
didn’t build

themselves.

i was your home
you watched it crumble
i’m so sorry
i hope it didn’t hurt.

you trusted me
i let you go
and i'm so sorry
we never got to meet.

or maybe we did
i really can't say
but i'm truly so sorry
i didn’t think to say goodbye.

you were a part of me
and i, a part of you
and i'm really so sorry
but i’ll always love you so.

****** feet lead you out of the
cold ice freezes over your
path
you fall

you get back up but you’re
dizzy this time you look right and
left but you
can’t see the sun

or the moon.
there is nothing here
                                    nor
                    ­                       there

except the walls.
four sirens to your sunken vessel.
but then you blink
that shine you see?

it’s your blood on the ground

you turn around.
this land has no direction
but somehow
you know you’ll make it home.

i will always be
too much
yet never enough
for you.

i feel myself closing
in inward inside and
i feel myself folding
collapsing maintaining
no control.

where have you gone?
where did you go?
why aren’t you here?
and why don’t i know?