I barely recognize her
the girl in the mirror
I see her  pain
how she is so tired of rejection
no one ever wants her
neither does she.
The girl... she's me
she'is my reflection.
I am a walking life form of flaws
I break inside
wanting nothing more than to be beautiful
my skin resembles my inner wounds
i'm never enough
never beautiful
never smart
never funny
never loved
never wanted
I know others have it worse than I
but that doesn't mean I wouldn't say good-bye.
I've been abused, used, lied to, hated
i get passed around from different places
getting tormented by new faces
I want to belong
but my reflection shows
that a beast as hideous as I
could never belong ... anywhere
I have accepted the fact
that I will never  be lovely
but nothing hurts worse than the pain
of looking in the mirror.

I come close, craving and cradling
when you sleep
half awake, your words sweet, edges blurred
Beloved.

    But awake  
your voice so loud
shakes my world
arms jabbing all akimbo
building what you fear
your words cannot transmit.

Beloved, go to sleep.

i like it when
your name and my name
meet in the unlikeliest of places;
falling off someone's lips like twin dew drops
in a stray conversation, or appearing
together as partners in crime
when our vices are the
topic of conversation.

i like writing you poetry -
at 2 am, night lights glowing through
rain streaked windows, i listen to the city
and wish you'd listen to me.

i like writing you poetry -
angsty little love notes where
every word betrays the cool countenance
i otherwise wear on my face when
we're warring with our words but
teasing with our tongues.

i like writing you poetry -
it's where i can tell you the stories
that belong to the dead of the night
and the dead of my heart.

i like writing you poetry -
because it's the only way
i can tell you that i love you
*without you ever having to know.