Its 4 A.M. and I'm listening to another obscure indie band I think you'd like.
The Album in question is appropriately named:
People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People in The World.
Apparently, we all have bad people inside us.
Rapists, Nazis, Politicians, all crowded inside our tiny hearts.
No more room for compassion.
I guess we eat our issues and stuff them there,
Like some sort of factory.
Maybe that's how evil is created.
Stories for another time i guess?
Its 5 A.M. and I still miss you.
The Next Album on my playlist is titled Hospice.
I suppose that's a way to say how i feel.
So close to giving up, just comfortably dying.
He keeps saying that he's sorry.
I'm not sure what for.
I'll send you another Playlist later today.
Maybe you will hear my screams in between the upbeat guitar
and crashing of drums that is my tired body and soul.
Maybe you can tell me what i don't understand.
Do the Impossible.
Fix me.
Its 6 A.M. and the music has shifted to Button Poetry broadcasts
Neil Hilborn and Reagan Meyers clash against Sabrina Benaim
all of them saying the same thing without speaking the same words.
"Broken does not mean useless"
"Depression is not a means to an end"
"You cant fix some things with paper and pens"
They all scream their emotions into an open mic, the feedback cries with resounding applause, hollow but sweet.
It's 7 A.M. and i'm still here.
Still silently screaming.
I pray that my words reach your deaf ears.

Foiled at every turn
some say this as cliche,
for me it is true.

Every love affair spoils,
each chance at wealth stolen,
any opportunity to get ahead blocked.

Flower petals fall when
the bee refuses it's kiss, or
light reserves its brilliance.

Going back to what you know.
All the signs tellin you to stop,
Reroute, it's not the way to go

It's just not the same,
Couldn't be maintained
Left to decay
in the time lapsed
collapsed and what remains
is a husk that just adds to the
echo of the pain
you ran here to escape
Walls of dust clinging onto the pasts shape
Dissipating
Fallin away
Fillin your lungs
along with all those things you failed
to get off your chest along the way

And you wonder why you can't breath?
Why your heart got so heavy it fell off your sleeve?
Why your mind stole your dreams and now you can't sleep?
Why your faith was overrun by your worries and now You can't believe?!

Even here Collapsing on your knees
choking back the tears
As you try to put it back together
piece by piece

But it's gone.

There's nothing here for you anymore
You must leave
the road lead nowhere
And nowhere is where this road leads
A circle always comes up empty
No matter how far you reach

Be an exile.
Find your feet
In less polluted airs
Fill up those lungs
Where you have space to breathe
Pick up that heart
with the strength it took to take the leap
Towards the Fresh Start
no decay, no debris.
Come out the Dark
you'll be ok, you will see
well enough in time
to carve your own path
Be Free

Wondering how at nearly 25
I'm feelin left out?
This shelved life
got me in two minds
But I won't cry over split milk
It'll soon be dried
Up like the invites
I forgot to R.S.V.P
too busy tellin you
I'm just too busy
tryin to do me,
Right?*

Just do right by me
tonight
And bring me back in.
Going off ain't a sin,
Yeah I may have gone off
but not by much.
Still here on the side,
Tried to stay in touch
Reaching distance,
So reach out
And pick me up
it's worthwhile
you've not had enough
What's gone today,
come tomorrow will fill your cup.
Left overs still the best
Just need some heating up,
A fresh season,
a little warmth and love