(Sitting on Santa's lap)

Me: "I want a dragon"
Santa: "Nope, too dangerous"
Me: "Ok, then I want a boyfriend"
Santa: "What color dragon?"

Perfect.
I was not
insecure, fragile, forgotten.
They said I was
confident, kind, happy.
I was not
my mistakes, my shortcomings.
They'd never forgive
the people who hurt me.
They were my friends.
........................................................­................

They were my friends,
the people who hurt me.
They'd never forgive
my mistakes, my shortcomings.
I was not
confident, kind, happy.
They said I was
insecure, fragile, forgotten.
I was not
perfect.

enlightening with flowers a shade wrapped in dark night
tasting a hidden soul in fruity and luscious lips
setting the world on fire with a hug huge & wild
-with a kiss i am chained yet i’m glorious & free

i kiss your mouth of orange & drink heaven in it:
no more the day gives light, no more the moment beats
The universe is dust, the world a rose of peace
& every light is born from the bright of my tears

i give away all care, regard, worry & dream
i cast thinking away & sing & whirl & cry
& like a wounded bird i fall mad at your feet
& beg you another moment as begs a begging child:

stay close, close to me–like branch & air with wing
stay close, close to me–like mouth with breath & kiss

She wakes in the morning
And climbs up the stairs
In the grey dawn pretends
She’s the only one there

She stands under water
And hides in its brace
Letting it burn her skin
Away from this place

She opens the door but
She keeps her eyes closed
She can't read the truth
Etched into the windows

She’s alone in a crowd
And she chooses to be
She’s afraid of the shock
If she set herself free

She’s scaling walls
One brick at a time
Fighting for a reason
To believe she should try

Too far gone she’s so Jaded
Without self-medication
But she's still star gazing'
She doesn’t know why

She knows that she has to
The empty persists
And it makes her feel small
Like she doesn’t exist

She floats through nirvana
On pavement and back
Gets lost under street lights
As grey fades to black

Her wheels turn slowly
Almost at a stand still
She feels like they'll stop
But knows they never will

Too far gone she’s so jaded
Without self-medication
But she's still star gazing'
She doesn’t know why

She knows that she has to
The empty persists
And it makes her feel small
Like she doesn’t exist

And she doesn’t exist
And she doesn’t exist
She likes it this way
Without a purpose

She’s gliding in grey light
And staying up all night
And everything’s alright
If she doesn’t think of it

Too far gone she’s so jaded
Without self-medication
But she’s still star gazing'
She doesn’t know why

She’s scaling walls
One brick at a time
Fighting for a reason
To believe she should try

She’s still star gazing
but she doesn’t know why
But she doesn’t know why

My skin has melted
in the shape of your core
and I move
like a shadow
right beside you.