Her laugh from a distance heard vaguely in the near,
Vision of her face reminiscently will appear,
The glory of gold embracing light of the sun,
Shadows disappear as transformation has begun,
Magical colors of silver and gold,
Fading away the chill of cold,
Bringing warmth to that of those chosen,
No longer in a body left frozen,
Heavens embrace of silver and gold,
With the white of glowing snow,
Her laugh from a distance heard vaguely in the near,
Visions of her face reminiscently appear,
'Child of mine you followed my direction I put forth your way,
Come to me and do not be afraid,
I will walk you the rest of the way,
To meet your daughter,
Your husband and your father,
Thank you my child for believing in me when I asked,
It is my honor to introduce to you, heaven at last.

1/8/2017

Writers Hand~
Let me write without struggle,
Give me strength without pain,
Let the words embrace freedom,
And endure courage without shame,
Let me be guided by wisdom the words of perfect, while signing my name,
With masterpiece and skill,
Let me write into words of what I feel,
Let me write with hands ready to deal,
Let me write with words so that people can heal,
Let me write with words that calm the insane,
Let me write with words that help the crazy maintain,
Let me write through visions of someone else's eyes,
Let me write with courage to break the barrier of those who hide,
Let me write with tears of those who cry,
Let me write for those who are no longer alive,
And
Let me write for those struggling to survive,
Let me write without prejudice and fear,
Let me write with a mind that is clear,
Let me write to help decisions be made for those who can't decide,
Let me write with embrace to the writers who have already tried,
Let me give truth to the words that have been lied,
Let the writer within me empower the emotion in my book,
Let me write with knowledge without a second look,

Let my goals become real,
Let my words break you down to the part you'd never thought you'd feel,
Let my words capture your thoughts and everything real,
Let me be guided to write from the eyes of those who hurt,
Let me be guided to write from the eyes of people treated like dirt,
Let me be one with my eyes closed of a perfect poem,
Let it be seen by the eyes of the unknown,
Don't let time pass me bye without a blink,
Don't let the pages of my life be written without ink,
Let me grow in poetic wisdom through a channel of the unknown,
Let me be the writer who inspires others to know they're not alone,
Don't let me be the writer who signs author unknown,
Let me be guided by the Lord that my pen tends to write,
Who gives me courage to write without light,
Lord give me strength to write to inspire those who are lost,
Let me write without a penny of any cost,
Let me write to bare fruit for my family to eat,
Let me write to give faith and empower defeat,
Let me be the writer you created me to be,
Let me be one with my pen, paper, and ink,
Let me be the writer that writes better than I think,
Lord,
Let me write with your hand,
And let me follow the life for me you have planned.
Amen

1/8/2017

I can only give credit to one,
Whose been there since my life really begun,
Who stayed even when he wanted to run,
All of my childhood memories have you in the scene,
You didn't know how to raise someone else's kids,
So sometimes I thought you were mean,
Your jokes and stories you would tell, & still the pride of a strong heart,
It was us who tried to keep it together when it was falling apart,
Everytime a new escape plan by my mom was tried,
I'd stand there & at your side,
Or when she wouldn't come back after the ******* stories and stupid lies,
No matter how we lived our lives,
Our family has a love that still stands strong,
Maybe it's because we had a dad manage to try & keep it together when everything went wrong,
I think you finally got over the guilt & shame,
For the absence of your other daughters that loved you the same,
And I know you still live with the burden of its pain,
I can only give credit to one,
The one who stayed even when he wanted to run,
I hoped that one day you'd love me the same,
Eventhough I'm the only daughter out of 7 that doesn't have your name,
What about the other kids that were born with you by their side,
Decisions have to be made & you had to decide,
You chose to stay & raise them anyways & put everything else aside,
You claimed them as your own, that in which you never denied,
You hold all of the memories & moments of their life & all that they've known,
But when they were born, you knew that they were not born As Your Own.
People often wonder why you are put on a pedastool so high,
You are an angel seen through the wisdom of God's eye,
Your intellegence is what most people see,
As a child all the times you'd pass it on to me,
You are much smarter than that of common seed,
Random encyclopedia projects & numerous books we'd read,
I can't complain because you are a better dad than I expected you to be,
And you are the only dad I'd ever really need,
As I'd climb up on your lap since I was 2, as you'd listen to me read,
I hope I was the daughter you expected me to be,
I can only give credit to one,
Sure things got tough & we wanted to run,
But you didn't & that's what makes you # 1,
Not everything was perfect & sometimes it got rough,
Why couldn't we just change it when enough was enough?,
We grew up & Life's still tough,
But will we know how to crawl out of a hole if we get stuck?,
Sorry if I've ever hurt you or made you mad,
But some memories still hurt real bad,
Not everything was easy, in fact with everyday struggles it got too hard,
The bad memories we usually set aside or often discard,
We try to cover them up like they don't exist,
We were smart enough to know everytime they came into our lives it was just to cross us off the list,
When things were in place & just as they should,
Even the hard times turned out pretty good,
Some stuggles even brought happiness at the end even if times were hard,
Those will be the moments that are left unscarred,
Mom tried hard to get our lives back to where it belongs,
I guess it wasn't meant to be that way for very long,
I may be the only daughter without your name,
But I love you more than I would if you were My Own,
Things have changed and I am grown,
I am older now,
To have you as my dad I could never be more proud,
I can only give credit to one,
Who stayed even when he wanted to run,
Is this the life for us that was planned?
Sure time goes bye, but you are a better man,
I may be the only daughter without your name,
But our blood still bleeds the same,
My recent distance from this family made me miss you so much more,
But if I didnt then I would be reluctant & life be lived without lore,                                    
I feel like I can't move from this spot, for so long i have been gone,
I left to find my place in this world, but is this where I belong?,
I will always be your daughter, so let that be known,
I was gone for a little while but now I'm home,
My heart is heavy with this undying fear,
That one day I'll wake up & you'll no longer be here,
I can only give credit to one,
Who decided to stay even when he wanted to run,
If objects in mirror are closer than they appear,...
Then tomorrow is already here,
So lets clean the mirror so we can see real clear,
When someone doesn't want something they throw it away, or leave it behind,
My real father never changed his mind,
He never looked back, so he left long ago....so that a better dad i would find,
And to your surprise,
Yet another daughter at your side,
To tug on your pants & ask you questions all the time,
Who believed in everything you've accomplished & even the things you've tried,
You were put in my life as my dad for a reason,
Without you I wouldn't have anything to believe in,
I'm sorry if I've made you cry,
By these poetic words that I write,
I stand here as your daughter & I stand here all alone,
I may not be the daughter who shares the blood of your own,
But my plan is to stand here until the fray of fabric once kept together
   by the stitching once perfectly sewn,
Do you love me as your daughter?
Do you love me As Your Own?               
 
                                                              7/15/2015
For the only one I call DAD
Darrell Lee Tumlin

reluctant: unwilling, hesitant, resistant
lore: knowledge, knowing

Force of Shock~
 
Does it gotta be so hard, putting into perfect words of how I feel?,
When infact it doesn't even seem real?,
Still shakin by the force of shock,
Hit hard, like pieces crumbling from a solid rock,
Only the loud sounds of the hands
circling.... tic-toc..,
 
Trying to call you on the phone, but I have to stop,
Slow motion, and frozen, like the very last second of a dying clock,
I can still hear your voice, making the tears fall from my cheek,
You gave up, let go, and your pain made you weak,
 
As the thoughts take over, and continue to burn my soul,
Haunts me at night, as to why you let go,
Taking longer for my heart to heal,
Dad, you're supposed to stand in front of me,
and from this pain, guard me like a shield,
 
I admit that I thought you were dead once before,
All your travels made it hard to place an address on your door,
Your disappearance was silent for yet another 10 years of my life,
A bond created by the inner strength of your wife,
 
Brought together a relationship made of steel,
The journey began, and everything became real,
She went to heaven, and upon the sadness,
 and pain of her death; she could only be free,
If knowing that here on earth, you now have me,
We were strangers, Yes and spent our entire lives apart,
You always said that even miles away, I was your heart,
But when you lost your wife everything got dark,
 
Still shakin by the force of shock,
Hit hard, pieces still falling from a once solid rock,
Our recent memories were so real,
That if I close my eyes, your touch I can really feel,
Your face is right here,
And my vision of you is clear,
 
I am blessed to have been in the presence
 of every memory that we share,
Secret location of "our place" in the middle of nowhere,
Outside sports you and the kids would play,
Crawl up next to grandpa every night, and that's where he'd stay,
Why couldn't you just give it to God if you were afraid?
 
The games of your conscious, would no longer be played,
The dark sky, and storms of heavy rain,
Washing away the tears, releasing you of your pain,
Drink after drink, and constant battles drove you insane,
Everything would soon fade,
 
What stood in the way of prayer? Step to
the ladder and kneal,
Or did you sacrifice your life, and
take the wrong deal?
You stood empty, alone, with
worthless hope,
You just wanted it to go away, so you pulled
and released the rope,
Why did you make me love you, then
leave me to cry?,
When it was your choice to live or die,
I still need you daddy, don't make me say goodbye,
 
Still shakin by the force of shock,
Hit hard, like pieces crumbling from a solid rock,
Only the loud sounds of the hands circling...tic-toc...,
Still trying to call you on the phone, but I have to stop,
Slow motion, and frozen, like the very
 last second of a dying clock,
 
I will give MY pain to the Lord, and get the right deal,
Dad, you're supposed to stand in front of me,
and from this pain, guard me like a shield,
Its okay Dad, God said you can walk behind me
in the land of heavenly fields.
 
Poetic...(a.k.a)...  Shannon Lee Rohn
09/10/2012
For; my father Kelley Lee Rohn

Sometimes we have to pick ourselves up, because nobody else will,
Sometimes we have to build walls that nobody else can build,
Other times we let people in the barriers of our shield,
And sometimes we break down our wall without first being healed.
God, give me the strength to fight another day,
And change my mind when my heart stands in the way.
Sometimes we struggle after we fall,
Sometimes standing alone is better than having nobody at all.
Thank you God, for taking over when I was ready to give up and break down,
You waited patiently til I was ready to be found,
I give to you my breath, I give to you my all,
Thank you for standing here waiting for me to call,
Sometimes we must let go of what is only extra weight,
Other times we give up before it's too late,
And everything good in us, turns to hate.
Thank you God, for being my strength.

~Unforgiven~

How many chances do you need to get the hint?
How many times have you told me I’m a *******?
The unforgiven man will go to hell,
Because he couldn’t stand after he fell,
How many times does it take to see that it’s real?
How many more times must it be for my heart to turn to steel?
God will not forgive you,
As you burn in hell,
God will not forgive you,
As you sit in an 8x10 cell,
We pray to God and end with Amen,
It’s not over again, 'cause it happens again,
The judge said
“If you strike her again you’ll go to jail,”
“I’ll send you to prison with no bail,”
The unforgiven man will no longer be,
The unforgiven man can no longer see… that
God will not forgive you,
As you burn in hell,
And God will not forgive you,
As you sit for your last time in jail,
That beautiful girl you had to ****,
Now you must know how it feels,
To sit in jail, and rot in Hell.
UNFORGIVEN


8/2005

Some people are together for certain reasons, & they don't know why,
And they were happy until the day he showed his anger, & walked away leaving her to cry,
She wanted to understand you, & she really tried,
But you continued to make her feel lonely inside,
Like a little girl who crawled into a corner, trying to hide.
The thoughts in her head constantly battle each other so bad, that she'd rather die,
Than to have real love that's based on a lie,
It should be a feeling that makes her so happy, and lifted so high,
And want to dance with the angels through the sky,

Why try to understand how a person will always be,
Is it because you think 'He's going to change for me?'
When the truth is so simple, it's standing in your face,
They'll only know; if it's their own medicine they have to taste,
But I cant live my life just to stand in one place,
Just because people say that it's safe,
I always had to risk my heart, even if it was a mistake,

The world would be a wonderful place to see,
If only I wasn't blinded by the love that stands in front of me,
Should I let you continue to say sorry for every time you let me cry?
Or should I let you walk away, leaving my soul to wilt & die,?
People should open their eyes,
They might actually be surprised,
Girls are created to hold onto the good times,
Not to have a bad day, then lead the ones we love to their hidden cries,

She wants to love you so much, but she can't see how you feel,
How can you love her, when your heart's not even real?
You stand in front of her, but you're guarded like a shield,
I know the the pain from your past,
Has forced you to wear a mask,

I can't live my life believing your every word,
It's about what is shown, not what is heard,
You'd think that by now you would have learned,
How to put out the fire before you get burned,
When Karma strikes, the hurt & pain will be returned,

You let the tears fall, now it's too late,
The pain of her cries turned love into hate,
Maybe it's meant to be, maybe it's fate,
Will she let you back in through the entrance gate,
You can't live your life, just to stand in one place,
When the truth is so simple it's standing in your face,
These constant thoughts & feelings are making her ill,
With a feeling so real, that you must know how it feels,
You walked off and let her soul stand still,
To be hurt by love so bad that it gave you chills.


1/7/2014