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 Mar 2016 Shannon Jeffery
Matt
A
If only you could see me now,
Lying awake each night,
Holding on to every image of your face.

When you told me you may break me,
Is this what you had in mind?
I’d still wish to go back to those times though..

At least back then I could stand in your shadow,
I’d take those days over this isolation darling,
Your poisonous words felt like an endearment to me...

If only I could see him now,
Deceitful and beautiful,
Enough charm to make others offer their soul.

Beloved, it’s not all as you think,
You may have broken me but you’re still mine.
I’ll use your mistakes against you.

It’s a subtle dance of dominance.
The more tightly you wrap me around your finger,
The more I get inside your head.

They all think we are crazy,
That we don’t understand how to love,
Though a love this tainted will surely transcend time..
Some people die in Texas.
Some people die in Spain.
Some people die in their sleep.
Some people die in pain.

We were all in love with trauma.
We were all in love with the same
ideas we projected onto people
and disguised with their name.

I don't live in nine-eleven-land
and neither do my peers.
I've been monitored by other people's Gods
for twenty-two ******* years.
Coffee pots and cigarettes
stimulate my day
and keep the thoughts streaming,
that eventually fade away.

Some people die in Utah.
Some people die in Prague.
Some people never get married
or have the family dog.

We were all in love with status.
We were all in love with goals
that would make life poignant
and make ourselves whole.

I don't subscribe to the thought
that my thoughts necessarily matter.
If life is a horror movie,
then I'm the fake blood splatter.
Bible thumps and dead eyes,
are all part of my design,
and how I live and where I die
means to separate my mind.
Could I linger in a beat of your heart
I want to listen to each echo that goes
through interpret what each repetition
means to my thoughts. "I hear you,

I am among the lingering smiles, the
yearning from our faded moments that
can splinter to an eruption of needed
ambition of a hearts wanting's.

We are a collection of fractions, of silent
moderations that culminate in needed
repetition for each is captured within a
single beat and released in a heart beat.
You always see me smiling in pictures
But not behind the scenes
Because a photo can't tell the story
Of a man's wandering heart in need

The need for something different
Besides the dull everyday to day
The need for a new meaning
Without all these obstacles in the way

A change of plans with change of venue
Surroundings where I'm not so well known
Where the life I now have doesn't seep through
Not having to live up to what all I own

You can take all you want of your pictures
But don't expect to see the real me
Just because I'm smiling for the camera
There's another the story behind the scenes
I was wondering through the streets,
ghettos of lonely moments. You calved
out every moment that was ours and
laid it naked in front of my eyes.

You never thought of feelings only the
pain was like hooks on my broken dreams
of us. And what was now dead leafs falling
like stones on my numbness now felt.

How could something so beautiful corrode
in moments that were meant to blossom.
but now are lingering in emotional eclipses
not seen in light but enveloped in nothingness.

**"I love you, but can  unspent coals of love ever be
reignited or do they forever stay static and cold,
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