one day I will die
I will die in a car crash
in a frontal colision
with some ******* who drunk too much
I had  my fare share of responsability
but I will not tell you why
I will just say it wasn’t pleasant
blood and bones all over the road

no, that’s not it
what the hell am I saying?
I will be murdered
in my own house
by some one who don’t belive in my ideologies
someone who profoundly disagree with me
therefore I am a threat to his way of life
or maybe I’ll just do it myself

not that I don’t belive in my convictions
but sometimes I have really hard times
defending them

one way or another
by accident, ****** or suicide
in the end,
someone will have to throw away my stuff
and delete my facebook account

What if I were to take two apples
And push them together so hard
That they became one?
Would it hurt them?
Would they grow sick
From the trauma?

It is likely they would.

I am not at loss for words
When you rant on at me
For mistakes I cannot amend.
For having to pick up after me
At a loss for having had
Appropriate instructions.
If you were to yell at me
For everything
That makes me imperfect,
Would I grow sick?

Perhaps I would.

But having have grown sick
So many times in my short life,
It's hard to overthrow
My well-developed immunity system
For any poison that
Leaks from your torn heart.

I'm sorry you grew sick.

But more than that
I'm sorry you are unable
To pick up after yourself
After causing a storm
In your own head
Day after day.
Hour after hour.

But one day you'll learn
To only take in
That which makes you stronger.
We could learn together...
You hold no responsability
For my negative mindsets
If I would stubbornly choose to have them.
And I hold no responsability for yours,
If you stubbornly choose to have them.

A Mexican standoff is a confrontation among two or more parties in which no participant can proceed or retreat without being exposed to danger. As a result, all participants need to maintain the strategic tension, which remains unresolved until some outside event makes it possible to resolve

Now I don't know what
You are waiting for
But all you need to do
In my book
Is speak the words.

There's no need to mend things
God knows that if it wasn't
For Karmic responsability
I would've spoken those words
A long long time ago.

I don't need anything from you
Just wish you'd come clean
Your foal mood has been going on
Since last Thursday
And for all I care
You can just say it

give him time
Says a whisper of compassion
Yes, even now, there is compassion
he needs time to mend himself
take this seriously
everything else has checked out*

You learn your lessons in high speed
But I certainly wish
It wasn't just because
You're waiting for me to pay the bills
I'd pay them either way
Have I ever been anything less
Than fair?

C'mon. Spit it out.

Life's limitation,
are only held by one's self...

Hopeless thoughts,
is where it starts.....

Life's emotions,
starts the notion...

Of a life,
we can't have...

Stress and burdens,
responsability and hurting....

Fear of not having,
is a wrong thought...

Drive and devotion,
is the right potion...

So hold your light,
into the night...

With love in your heart,
and control of your mind....

Work out life's problems,
and life will be fine...

Do you remember what it was like
When adults spoke words
That we were too young to understand?
Do you remember what it was like
When we were programmed by our parents?
They explained meanings of words,
Trained us in diciplines
And spoke truths
We were too inexpirienced to deeply understand?

Do you remember what it was like
To see a bridge for the first time?
To really see it and wonder
Why it was there and purpose it served?
Something so mundaine today
Back then we just trusted
That if it was there,
Then there must've been
A good reason for it.
We trusted that everything
We saw and heard was true.

don't lie to children

Has it ever occurred to you
That everything we see for the first time
Is being viewed without judgement.
We don't know what it is.
It is up to those who explain it
To remain equally unjudgemental
So we can make up our own minds.
Do you realise that life
Is still a surprise to young eyes?
Don't program them wrong.

Do you realise the responsability
To purify your own mind
Before you speak it
To inexpirienced ears.
If you teach hate, you will see it
Everywhere you go.
Someone once said
if you plant a tree, it will never grow to become grass
So stop demanding it to...
it will always be a tree.
But you help it become
Happier and healthier.

They won't become what you want them to become.
They will become that which they hold a potential for.

indefatigable fools
fighting currents
Acting all different
just to stand out
Arguing with reality
frightened by normality
Majority ain't got time
for this purposeless rebellion.
Tryin to impress with a
dead dude's philosophy
but got no original thoughts.
Taking big like some prodigy
What a sad parody
Nothing but mindless beans
looking for a way outa
responsability
Social rejection
Drug addiction
blaming side affects of
anxiety and depression
Left behind
bruised and beaten
People shout, "just shut up
Sit back in your sadle
You ain't surviving
this battle;  Life
It hands out punches
just roll with it
go with the flow
No need to stay low, tho
Let 'em know
who's the real you"
But incorrigible fools
ignoring advise
Not worth ego sacrifice
they see no alternative but
a prideful stride to suicide

A part of me needs to sleep
That never has.
The thought keeps the
Rest of me awake
At night,

A grown man reaching out for
Something to be weak against,

Something bigger than a teddy,
Smaller than a bear.
Something that knows, and has room.
That sees, and has patience,  

That whispers against
Some part of my softest, innermost;
That there are no needs for
Control on my part.
For now, I have

Only one responsability:
To breathe. Just breathe
Until all my senses withdraw
Into the comforting shell
Of covers, sheets

And a presence that knows
The language of Guardian,
And sings it to me
Until every shard and sliver
Of my being unfolds
Into relief.

Plead for a walk,
window glass confession
Heart watchwalktalkmeditationluck,
Cold was not outside today,
Feels like the best spring play
Joy having nothing to do with this run away from your real responsability...
But what to do?
Tell a heart she's wrong?
As if he weren't the same...
Walkwatchmeditation_talk
Life isn't cruel.

Blindly you stare
At a single point in time
As you tell me
With anger in your voice
How many "hot ******* you ******"

Then persue your point
By arguing that
You would not lower
Your standarts after having had me

I'll take the compliment
But be sure to understand
That only the damaged girls
Would take as much crap
As I took from you

The way I hear you
Is that you need a woman
Who does not need you
So you would not have
The responsability
Of making her happy

The demands are indeed low
With such a girl
But be sure to understand
That the less she needs you
The more likely
You are to lose her
If you continue this way

If she doesn't need you
Then indeed she stays
Because she wants to
But you're not as great as you think
If you expect her
To sway to your each demand
And less than flawless business transactions

If you want a girl
Who doesn't need you
Make sure you
First and foremost
Are the man who doesn't need her
But who stays
Because he wants to.

The degree of our suffering depends mostly on our own responce to it - Guan Yin

why are you crying

If I hadn't suffered so much
Would I not have been happier now?
Would I not have been freer?
Would I now not be released of blaming you?

why did you suffer

Because they harmed me mother
They did me wrong
They took all that I gave
And turned in to soil

Is it your responsability?

It was my effort
My tireless effort
It was what I did out of love!
It was what I gave of myself!

And did you expect something in return?

No.
Maybe.
Yes.
Love.

why would they not love you? Do you have to serve others to win them over

I suppose that's really not
How it should be,
But mum how else will they
Ever love me for who I am?

are you not kind

I think I am

are you not sweet

Sure...

then why would they not love you?

To this I don't know
The right answer
Why do we love
Generally speaking?

*because it's within us. You can only love that within another if you find it within yourself. Love selflessly and you will be loved selflessly. Not because you will never meet those who try to abuse you but because you will stop needing them all together. Love yourself unconditionally and you will be loved unconditionally