Every morning, right at dawn
this happens before I even yawn.
Day after day, day after day,
before I even wake,
before light with my eyes I take,
the same way it goes.
Over and over and over again…
It starts with this sudden rash on my skin,
like when someone is bothered with some very deep sin.
I taste of something unpleasent, sour.
If I spit it, steel I think I’d devour.
All stiff and sore,
I get up, unwillingly I’m mumbling something gore.
I look myself in the mirror,
sheet after sheet, it just gets thicker.
My eyes ****** and black,
inside them I see, a dent, a small crack.
Day after day, day after day,
while everyone sleeps,
I pity that soul that down in the crack slowly weeps.
I watch as it gets wider and wider,
that *****, that empty hollow ditch.
I see away, try to hide the disgust.
There is no place left in me, where I’d put my own trust.
There’s no border more, between reason and lust.
It was taken by some passing windy gust,
some swarmy pile of useless dust.
Vigorously I feel fire building up in me.
Hell got upstairs again, in me I see.
It burns I can feel it,
that unscratchable itch.
I stay still, I don’t move,
only with my left cheek I twitch.

You earned   it.
for every  unkind word I´ve spoken
You deserve it.
All these unsympatethic actions
Sorry dear
you  wont be getting any sweetness
from me
The harsh  rejection
you  asked for it.
You´re undeserving but
not unforgettable
Like an unpleasent weather
you passed through my heart,
leaving my roots ripped
and my soil ruined
Leaving my mind jaded
You broke my heart
You we´re the unkindest of them all
a malgin spirit
whom I fell in love with.
A merciless enemy
with a rose in its hand.
You deserve   no mercy

Alcohol only understands alcoholics
**** for stoners
power for politics
dark knights for the jokers
I casually forget
that I casually forget
What reason to resent
connect to the tempt
let it rip like a blade through the skin
unphased by the sin
An abysmal of interest
still bewildered by abashed movements and contemptment
plaugues by immortal sins
of mortal men
we are only equal by the hierarchy we rule by
actions and reactions do or die
unpleasent motives inflicted pain by mere touch
I trust my eyes are clouded by the logic in my mind
Shift to an undisposable appetite
set a riot after night
Excuse my Vocalization
take it how i meant it understand Veberalization
I am a ***** man
look at my ***** hands
Dull minds
Dull minds
Take your influence
make your influence
reality checks save lives
end lives with escapism
Uncaged birds with clipped wings
Freedom just isn't free
I am at your mercy
No matter how diabolical it can be

The night opens like an ancient book
all the lovers sleep under a crimson moon
there is a dream that becomes another dream
hurt and joy begin to melt into multicolor scales
pain and faith dance the chant of life
all the music is a different obscurity

must bear the weight of the channels of the mind
dark voids of stars exploding like candles in the dark
all beauty is cold, I can smell her parfume
cosmic restlessness and radioactive corrotion
solar flares and pitchful black light of a tousand suns
time folds itself by the passing of the spirit of Death

we hear trumpets in the sky
hideous symphony of sickness
foul smell of nausea drags on the soil
strange and unpleasent hallutinations
fill with the Nature of psychotropic womb

and I can hear a lament faraway:
"O Lord, give me a sing, send me a message!"
but there was no response, there was no God listening
is life a labyrinth of equations and sequences?
just lost numbers and imaginary answers
Destiny is joking around, Luck has been dead for years.

choking on unpleasent feelings
can you look at yourself in the mirror?
would you break the glass or rather kiss it? I would rather cut myself ...
Depression trying to get on my nerves .
I am fighting but my stupid image won't let me win , is that wrong? am i wrong?
mistaken ego with lies.
I don't feel safe , not tonight , not with myself.
Everything that i didn't want to feel or show is coming out.
Anger , pain, fears, feeling so hurtful, never do nothing right , never do nothing good, Hurting others and me.
i double dare to look at myself in the mirror , i did and felt so ******* unbeareble ugly.

Down in my bed in the solace of night
drops of rain from slumber keep me apart
and the warmth of the thick yet soft blanket
plays no hand in the freezing of my breath.
Impatient, the shadows of the hollow tree
branch out, tirelessly dancing with my eyes
on the wall lighted by the lone street lamp,
timid in it's work, until it dies out.
A stale taste weighs from under the skin,
rashing my thoughts, unpleasent it is.
In tempo, the drops still in my head drum,
the taste I can't get out, the pound I can't stop.
At unease I am, for thick is the dream.

Keep me in the dark,
I dont want to see your true self.
Never mind me asking,
But why did you needed my help?

You called me a princess,
You said i changed your life!
But all this time you were waiting for me to open up to you.
So you could beat your ''wife''.

Sometimes i sit in the dark,
Its the only place my mind can go free
The only place without any burdens
The only place with terrifing memories.

To not be able to come out of the dark,
and just step into the light.
It aint that easy to lower your walls down
and keep my head up with pride

Because what pride would i have left?
When my experiences with men are unpleasent.
If i were to go back
and let him hit me

Again with the bruises,
again with the pain
I cant take it no more,
need morphine to ease my pain

I TRUSTED YOU
you betrayed me
you knocked me to the floor
while swearing it was to save me.