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 Jul 2015 saryachan
ern kingham
I remember the first time someone explained to me what the word gay meant.
We were in middle school
Playing on the swing set behind Stoy Elementary
"He’s so gay," she said
Bitter disgust poured out of her mouth with every syllable
I could not think as to why being happy could be such a horrible thing
And so I asked
My exact words being
“Whats so wrong with being happy?”
Now both my friends looked at me weird
“Don’t you know what gay means?”
“Doesn’t it mean to be happy?”
“You’re such a little kid, gay does not mean happy. Gay is a boy who likes another boy”
I stood there wondering why it mattered so much that a boy liked another boy;
why it was such a distasteful thing.
And why it meant gay couldn’t still mean happy.
Reposting this because equal marriage on the U.S. Now!!
 Jul 2015 saryachan
turbul-sense
2
 Jul 2015 saryachan
turbul-sense
2
i met someone, friend
it's a fascinatingly consuming experience
when you realise that another human being's existence
can make you feel, quite simply,
whole.

she's beautiful
and she's never known it and
i want nothing more than to hold her until
she believes me,
earnestly.

i like her like boys do.
my mom would not approve.
about her
 Jul 2015 saryachan
silent scars
War
 Jul 2015 saryachan
silent scars
War
My heart is on fire
My mind is a liar
But you say I'm just tired
Not depressed

But I've confessed
There's this pain in my chest
And this level of sadness
Is only growing higher

Leave me alone
I want to be on my own
This place is not a home

This is where my thoughts deepen
This bed that I sleep in
Where my tears drown the sheets
And my bones weaken

Screaming at my scars to quit fading
Looking in the mirror
At this person I'm hating
Crying in the dark
While my heart's breaking

This war with myself can't be won
The plan was never to hurt anyone
Except me, my pain can't be undone

Save me from myself
I don't think I can fight
Save me from this war
Save me from tonight

Keep me from the dark
It's not where I want to belong
Save me from this war
Save me from who I've become

At this point I'm
beyond lost and confused
With a heart that's more than bruised
This tongue holding back its secrets
While I'm suicidal and
ignoring my weakness
But you still tell me I'm just a mess
Not depressed
Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.

As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.  

You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.

Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.

Although the last sentence  
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.

You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book  
Was your favorite story
All along.
For Ty & Des ❤️

— The End —