I dreamed. Finally
A dream that was better than this torn up reality
You came to me holding out your hand
I looked at in disgust already knowing your plan
In this dream I already knew you would use me then toss my body a side
Draw me in with false words then laugh as I choked on my pride
You tried to get the best of me
That wasn't happening, not in my dream
No here I was the Queen
I came out on top
Not once did I drop
Fall off my pedestal
No longer was I the fool
You bowed at my feet
And I just looked at you how you use to look at me
In disgust
Yet still I could not refuse my lust
A mistake I made and will never repeat
Yet in this dream I stood tall and never admitted defeat
It faded to soon
Light shining through
Waking me to my torn reality
Losing my fantasy
Reminding me that I am the one who is scarred
Torn from the marks you left on this heart

Pull me to my knees with your unexpected blows
Stealing my breath before I scream so nobody knows
You make everything hurt and bleed
Bounding my soul refusing to let me be freed
I need a out but I know there is no point for me to live
I have tried, I have failed, and I have nothing left to give
You remind me of that everyday
Tearing at my lost soul refusing to stray
I try to get back up with a tired breath
Another blow reminds me that I have nothing left
I have failed hopelessly, bye my sweet eternity
You remind me that I belong to this agony

Missing you
someone I barely knew
Walking that dark path
You walked it too
I was forever sinking to a place where the sinners go
Trying to hold on and not fall between the cracks in that broken road
Hearing voices screaming at me to not stray from my path
Thought you were a lost soul like me till the moment we crashed
Came running at me so suddenly in full speed
Felsh and golden eyes
That was the first moment I noticed your wings
Shaking me urgently pointing upward
I tried to tell you to speak in words
Your lips moved to speak but I could barely hear
Your mouth would open and the voices would scream out in fear
You reached out and took my hand holding it up so that I could see
My flesh was rotting like my soul
I was slowly losing the real me
I looked up in fear to gaze into your eyes once again
This time I heard the words you said
Your voice was something unique
Reached into my dark soul and comforted me
Spoke of turning away from my path
I cried and said there was no going back
You said, "Take my hand and I'll teach you to soar."
"I can't stand to fly." I yelled and started to cry more
Dropping to the ground and screaming out in inner pain
I felt the broken earth quake
Looking up slightly I saw your golden eyes wet like rain from the sky
Tears of the angel cried for someone as weak as I
Kneeling beside where I had dropped to my knees
Reached out with a swoosh of your wings
Consumed in a feeling that I had never experienced
Watching glimpses of all my past sins
Tears still falling freely as I begged for amends
Gasping as a booming voice yelled, "Your Forgiven!"
Released me so suddenly from your hold
When I opened my eyes I didn't see the eyes that were so gold
No broken path before me
I was where I once was before I lost the ability to see clearly
Strayed so far from what was right
You saved me from an eternity of no sight
I miss you in my weakest moments when I have the urge to give in
Picturing your eyes helps me to resist to not give into my past sins

There was a time I held it in

Sinking to the bottom of the dark abyss

Where ones thoughts take over rationality

Madness becomes your mentality

Never did I speak my mind

Not once did I complain when I was left behind

Then he came along and took me in

At the time I didn't recognize him as the Devils kin

Eventually his true self came to be shown

By that time I was too invested in the man that I had known

Sitting there day after day in silent agony

Eventually sanity turns into brutality

Sadness turns to anger and judgement is clouded

Blinded from what you once believed your sanity becomes shrouded

Bruises did cover my skin

Torturing myself by holding it in

Why couldn't I say what was on my mind

It's not like I was alone or didn't have time

I'm sure your thinking it was because I was afraid

You'd be wrong. My silence was all about self hate

Sure I hated him. But mostly I hated me

And as time went on I grew to hate everybody

Be a good girl put everything in its place

I'd smile and put on my false happy face

Then there came a night

Quiet and peaceful the stars were shinning bright

He came looking for me

Interrupting my first moment of peace

It was like time stood still when he raised his voice

Realization hit me that I have a choice

Something in me snapped when he raised his fist

My vision became clouded by a red mist

Taking the punishment I stayed silent like I'd been doing all my life

But this time when night fell I slipped into bed holding a knife

I couldn't bring myself to stop the deadly plunge even when the blood started to flow

For Blood is like sugar when revenge runs the show

Dripping from my fingertips on to the bed it left a mark of finality that put my madness at ease

My smile was genuine as I dialed the number to phone the police

What is your emergency the operator asked me

I replied I have killed the devil and now I am free

I was brought in with chains and put in the pen

When asked why I did this I would answer I held on the pain in

Now as I sit quietly on my cot in the joint

I smile as I recall my breaking point

I lay here silently
Feeling him
Breathe
Chest moving subtly
In and
Out
Letting me know
Alive and well
My
One is laying beside me
I feel complete in this
Love
Laying here with the man
The man I call
Home
Soft snores
Fill the Silence and this
Is
Another act that makes me smile
And wonder
How
Did I ever get this lucky
He makes someone as weak as
I
Strong and sure
That's how he makes me
Feel
Arms will pull me closer
My heart beat becomes unsteady
When
His hand does gently caress my left hip
And this leaves me aching and now
I'm
Feverish with need as my body yearns
To mold with yours whenever you're
Near
Safe and secure
Is my soul with
You
I love this man sleeping next to me
He is mine to love and
Hold
Refusing to let go
Of this man who holds
Me
Even in the dead of night
I feel safe with him
Close
With this man
My soul has found its place
*Forver

Come lay me down
I was just thinking
About you
Come hold me
I am so lonely
without you
Take this tongue
I was just wanting a taste
of you
Take a picture and put it in my brain
I am lacking vision I
need to see you
Saw off my hand to hold
I would like to
feel you
Drink my blood
I need me
in you
Stay in this cage
I know you wouldn't leave
I will keep
You

Dance with me, Lift me high

Make my legs weak, Caress my inner thigh

Touch my Lips, Press against yours

Never have I wanted more

Eyes stare into my soul

Connection runs deep, Never grows old

In the past life I know we did this dance before

For a night; For decades; For forever more

Two bodies meet, Collide in a sensual dance

As heat filled the air, and Love decided to take a chance

I thought
To step
Outside
Of my
Comfort zone
But I
tripped
And fell
To my knees
Then suddenly
I became
Scared to
Try it
Again

Promising to take me to wonderland.

Never run away in cowardice again.

Worry will fade when we're together.

All you'll need is the Hatter forever.

Binded tightly in the Red Queen arms.

Hatter returns and saves me from harm.

Unlike before when he was unsure.

The Hatter realized that this Alice is his world.

Yet I fell for someone long before.

Another who had promised to never leave my heart sore.

So do I trust someone who is Mad and never speaks in sane words.

Do I listen to my heart? It's demanding to be heard.

All this time spent listening to false words
They demanded to be heard
Like useless lullabies
They used to tell me nothing but lies
Hear my cries
Watch me die
This is everything I despise
How can I go on
Hanging on for to long
You have not seen what I have seen with these eyes
I think it's time to finally cut ties
Say a final farewell and be done with these lies
I need to go to a place with newer skies
Away from all these goodbyes  
Now I must go away from here and find a new home
Somewhere I'll no longer feel alone
I need this now more than ever
Stop being a follower when it's time to be clever
Goodbye old me
Time to face reality
Stop living in the clouds
Time to voice my thoughts out loud
Be who I was meant to be
Who I'm supposed to be
Not who they want to be
But who I need to be in order to achieve
Everything

Shhh... let's be quiet baby
The night is so loud, it got me thinking that maybe...
You and I could fade away
Disappear down to the Long Creek grave
I heard a tale that the ghosts will dance
You need to knock on Sarah's stone for the chance
Lift your hand baby, and knock three times
One, Two, Three. Do you hear the chimes?
Gentle tings in the distance. Oh, what could it be?
I feel a wiggle and you suddenly push away from me
Hey now honey... it is only my the worm that hides in my cheek
It likes to come through my rotting flesh for a peek
Nevermind the interruption of our fun
You and I are nowhere near done
You knocked precisely right
For that, I shall dance all night

Dangerously Toxic
Yet immune to this
Addictive drug I can't shake
Inhale in all I can take
Breathe in this obsession
I am okay with being your possession
Intoxicating lies
Drunk on this high
Spiraling out of control
I can’t resist the pull
Ignorance is bliss
Yet freedom is what I miss
Freedom I do not seek for
The ropes will tighten even more

Ashes smolder quietly on the ground

Death often has no sound

Flames spread so very quick

No time to respond to the Devils trick

Angels cry at innocence loss

Into heaven victims cross

Blame is put on the survivor

Denial is claimed; the people call lier

Punishment for living so it seems

Shot rings out that follows screams

Once a survivor; survivor no more

Judge reads verdict like it's a chore

Not guilty they found

Innocence is nothing if their in the ground

Devil smiles in his lair

Flames still rise up through the air

Evil strikes upon this town

Don't rise up instead they bow down

Why give into the Devils game

Its us who feeds the flame

Today I gazed upon nature with closed eyes
I discovered where true happiness lies
The gentle rustle of a soft breeze
How the critters taunt and tease
My tense body wanted to realx and be brave
To become as at peace and as still as the trees is something I crave

Girl so small why do you cower?
Hiding behind walls
Keeping yourself locked in that tower
Afraid of everything, afraid to live.
If you stay hidden when will this life ever begin
Past is something that left you broken
Weighed down with dark thoughts that remain unspoken
Sheltered within these stone walls
Hear the temptation but ignore the calls
Will you ever truly be if you don't take risks?
Think about all the opportunities you will miss
Yes the bottom is so far down
The climb will be worth it when your feet hit the ground
Negative souls will be against your escape
Others will be encouraged by one so brave
Stop feeling trapped when you have a way to be free
That window is small yet it still allows you to see
Climb down from your tower once in awhile and explore
Don't constantly stay hidden if you secretly yearn for more

Seeing him smile at me

Was a reminder to you who I was before

Before I met you and turned my life around

When I was running in circles

Screaming

In reality I never made a sound

Nobody noticed my broken pleas

Then you came along and saved me

Now as he looks at me with hunger in his eyes

You turn and look at me

I can see your disgust

Please don't judge me

My past is dark

Filled with poor choices and misguided hearts

You knew that going in

Saw my open wounds

I told you I had sins

Now that they're coming to light

Your reactions aren't matching up with the promises you made

Said you'd want me no matter my past

Prove it now

Make us last

So don't judge me

I wouldn't dream of judging you

Let our love move forward

Not in reverse

Love me for who I am now

Not who I was then

Help me make up for my sin

I found you that day
Or was it the other way
Around
Round, you spun me in circles
I'm still dizzy from the
Fall
Fell hard, the impact shattered me
Disrupted my firm
Belief
Believed my heart was his
But I didnt actually hear the
Beat
Beating out of my chest when I saw you
How can I love him but I want
You
You're so confusing to my binded heart
I need you and for some reason I can't bare  to
Part
Depart from the tangled mess my heart got itself into to
I keep asking myself how do I
Choose?
Choice isn't mine really
See its also up to you to decide what you
Want
Wanting and needing are two different things
I want to fix him, but I need to fix you, the one who left me
Wrecked
Wreck my senses, not sure what to do
Need a second opinion fore I fear of making a
Mistake
Mistaken and Ending up with no one
Not you or him, just me
Alone

Body tucked in
Tightly pressed against skin
Chest to chest
Breath to breath
I'll breathe you in with no regrets
One chance at happiness is all I get
Touch my trembling hand with yours
Heart beating fast, wanting more
So silent is the night around us
As we continue to inhale this love
Exhale out slowly
Praying you don't leave me lonely
Want so badly to stay in this dream
Nothing is ever as it seems
If I stay with your skin pressed against mine
Maybe then It will slow down time
Lips swollen from a lovers kiss
Closed lids not wanting to miss
All the wonders of this dream
Where you and I are allowed to be
Body tucked in
Tightly pressed against a wish
Knowing if I wake
This dream will dissipate
Scatter into what it was before
A hope, a want
Nothing more

There is a man I see in my dreams

This man who's kiss fills me with need

I wake up so hot and covered in sweat

Aching for a man I've never met

His touch sets me on fire

Feels me with passion and desire

I know this man, though I have not seen with my eyes

I know his touch, his kiss, and I know he is mine

His body fits, molds with mine like a glove

During my dream he shows me the secrets of love

The things we do makes me blush, but I'm not embarrassed

He is strong yet his touch is a gentle caress

Who are you? I need to know now

I need to find my lover I just don't know how

So next time you come to me whisper your name

I will find you so we can ease our pain

Drip
My blood
Drip
Runs freely
Drip
From the wound
Drip
In my chest
Drip
Split open by Love
Drip
Took what he wanted
Drip
Then left me broken
Drip
Promised to catch me
Drip
Then let me fall
Drop

In the depths of my mind I feel him near

My body heats up with thoughts unclear

Feeling the anticipation of what I need to be done

The heat is unbearable as I try not to succumb

I wont try on my own to make the ache cease

Without him here I know I'll never find release

Trying to fight the heat I clench my thighs

Taking deep breaths to hold in my fevered  cries

I feel him close as I'm blinded by lust

Help me find release before I combust

Tendrils of smoke fill the air

Warning all of what is near

Refusing to be put at peace

The flames will not cease

Coughing up ash and dirt

Struggling to breathe as my lungs hurt

I hear crys of many all around

I search blindly, crawling on the ground

Heat did scorch my skin

Wondering how one could commit such a sin

Who would want to destroy a home

The wind stirs up the flames with its wicked moan

No sign of dying down anytime soon

The howl of wood collapsing is such sobering tune

The men in red pour water but the flames refuse to relent

Watching in a daze as my home collapses before my eyes

Refuse to listen as the rescuers tell me lies

"Everything will be fine." They say trying to calm me

Rubbing the soot out of my eyes so I can see

Made it out alive, but not unharmed

I will live, but baring scars

There she sits, all alone

All she needs is a home

There she cries on the ground

All she wants is to be found

There she runs, away from here

All she feels is fear

There she screams "Find me!"

All she craves is to be free

There he kneels looking for a sign

All he needs is more time

There he sobs into the pillow

All he wants is to not feel so hollow

There he yells "I see you!"

All he craves is for this sight to be true

There she sits, an angel all alone

All he sees is her, his home

There they stand together

All they need is each other, forever

One
Two
Four?
Hmm..

(Three silly
You’re mad)

Mad I am
Mad I'll stay
Trapped in my mind
Never to stray

(Don't you get lonely?)

No my dear
Don't you hear?

(Hear what?)

Voices all around
So much sound!
Never lonely
No not I

(Speak the truth mister)

Oh I never lie
Truth is as truth does

(What does it do?)

Well it lies of course

The darkness
Surrounded me
Clouds rolled in
Warning me
Then in
the midst
Of the downpour
I knew
If I didn't
Embrace this storm
I would
Never be
Able to move
Forward

The night air had never made me feel so lonely

Walking this path without my one and only

Hand in hand we use to stroll so carefree

Now the quiet reminds the soul that it's only me

Cold wraps around me, seeping into my bones

Hope it would numb me so I wouldn't feel so alone

They say after your love passes you can feel them near

But I'd be warm and happy if you were here

Snow covers my loose hair, tickling my ears

The night is so quiet, awakening my fears

Giving me time to think of what use to be

Can't even take a walk to be free of your memory

Everywhere I turn something reminds me of the past

Your impacted my heart so much I'm afraid the pain will last

Snowflakes all around making the pathway to our spot a white dream

Remember how in the summer we'd run until we got to the stream

We'd strip bare and jump in

Not worrying about anything, not knowing this all would end

I lay down now letting cold surround me and closing my eyes

Spreading my arms, making a angel and pretending to fly

How I want to fly to you

I want all that we had wanted to come true

Go back in time and save you from yourself

So stubborn, you always refused help

One more weak swipe of the arms, I stop my wings

I try to listen closely to hear if the angels will sing

Sorrowful tune for the emptiness I feel inside

I need to start accepting, all I seem to do is hide

Shaky breath I stand up and tilt my head up toward the sky

With a quiet whisper I send you a goodbye

Doing as I please
Taking with ease
Feeling no remorse
Spewing venom with force
Pain is my game
Selfish is my fame
Taking over Generosity
Witness my Atrocity
Power hungry as ever
Call me cruel, but I say clever
Never satisfied in any way
Always have the final say
Bow down to me
Never will they be free
Born to take over, to lead
Generosity is dead, all hail Greed

I'm ******* and my stomach is weighted down
A dark force is trying to make us disappear into the ground
He followed me with a noose that hung around a slender neck
A vulture who haunts my flesh just waiting for a peck

Hitting my chest to get the negativity out
envisioning light entering and the darkness dispersing about
Yet I still hear the hangman's words
I blocked them, yet they are still heard

"Little skinny girl,
just used for a cinnamon swirl
She will stutter just a little more
I can't seem to find her allure."

He has a hold on me whispering line after line
I honestly don't think I will make it in time
I found a place of redemption and a glimmer of hope
Yet I fall every time my foot moves to leave this slippery *****

Loosen the knot and slide your rope around me
Make sure there is a snap when I start to swing

Squeezing and contracting
Breathing and relaxing
Slap me hard so my eyes open wide
If your mouth is so big, in who do I confide?
Something about our encounter is disturbing

Ripping and tearing
Eating and sharing
My heart is fatty, so don't enjoy it too much
If your incisors are pointy, how do I touch?
My disappearance will surely be preturbing

Screaming and moaning
Digging and burning
The match is wet, find a new way to light me
This grave is too shallow, won't they see?
Will I be indebted to you in death?

Stuttering and silence
Running and violence
Burning body is thin and kneeling before him
On my knees like a good girl, is this a sin?
Hangman loves to steal my breath

I had a dream where you didn't leave

Held you close, tight, right next to me

Your eyes did shine and my heart wasn't sore

Looking at me with love like you did before

Told me you'd be here till the end of time

Kissing you close not recognizing a lie

Go
Just go
Fade away like this dream
Nothing is ever what it seems
We will never be

When I wake reality is harsh to a dreamer

Dose of cold air delivered by a schemer

Showed me the side of him that made me fall

Left me with the side of him he never showed at all

Though he's gone, he stays

Showing up in my dreams day after day

Go
Just go
Fade away from my mind
If only I could turn back time
Then you'd be mine

I need you gone, need you to leave

For once I just beg for peace

Stop smiling at me at night

Just stop making my heart want something that isn't right

It's unhealthy to ache for something that can't be fixed

Tired of missing someone that shouldn't be missed

So go
Please go
Fade away from my heart
I can't take this constant reminder that we are apart
I need a new start

I had a dream where you didn't leave

Held you close, tight, right next to me

Your eyes did shine and my heart wasn't sore

Looking at me with love like you did before

Told me you'd be here till the end of time

Kissing you close not recognizing a lie

Go
Just go
Fade away like this dream
Nothing is ever what it seems
We will never be

When I wake reality is harsh to a dreamer

Dose of cold air delivered by a schemer

Showed me the side of him that made me fall

Left me with the side of him he never showed at all

Though he's gone, he stays

Showing up in my dreams day after day

Go
Just go
Fade away from my mind
If only I could turn back time
Then you'd be mine

I need you gone, need you to leave

For once I just beg for peace

Stop smiling at me at night

Just stop making my heart want something that isn't right

It's unhealthy to ache for something that can't be fixed

Tired of missing someone that shouldn't be missed

So go
Please go
Fade away from my heart
I can't take this constant reminder that we are apart
I need a new start

Firey
Dancing Alone
Charging without thought
Flames captivate those watching
Impulsive creature acts without thinking
Electric
Loves loudly
Mourns in silence
Desires one man only
Impulsive lover acts without
Regrets

The moth headed toward the sun
I watched him silently for a little fun
I had thought maybe if I muted the light
Then his death wouldn't be in my line of sight
I thought that maybe I could capture him then
he wouldn't burn in this world so full of sun and sin
I continued to dream and watch the creature fly in a haste
He bled out luck and gave it away, I was tempted for a taste
I was so tempted to form a prison for him in my hands, hoping
to live a life with one so lucky for others but so unlucky with no way of coping
I reached out to to touch the white wing, only for it to turn to dust upon my caress
were we not meant to be, or was the sun in my heart too much or too less?
So addicted we were, light and a plain moth that couldn't resist the flame
I wonder if I was too hot for the man, or maybe the all pain inside of me was too much of a shame
The moth was headed toward the sun but dispersed before he could truly appreciate its love
I was fire and tried to capture him, but I have always burned when push comes to shove.

Kissed by him

Tainted my untouched lips

Wanted by him

Trembled my hips

Touched by him

Dirtied my ****** skin

Needed by him

Tempted me to sin

Loved by him

Urged my kiss

Freed by him

*Blinded me with bliss

Oh I am not enough
I am to hard to love
I am a little sick once in a while
But your sickness beats mine by a mile

I like to be alone
You want me to always be home
I thought to leave
You said feel free

I thought to pack my bags
Before I could everything became rags
I had that foot out the door
But then you begged to try a little more

I always hated merry-go-rounds
I always despised loud sounds
You love to spin me so fast
Yelling so loud that I forget my past

Who was I before I read your lines
Who woke me up to these signs
I think this sloth may speed up today
Leave everything and runaway

We don't have to have this silent battle  

I would rather forget you

Step into my mind and you'll see all the things you put me through

Your memory has left me shackled

Pictures haunt me as you stare at me with love

Said you'd never leave me even when push comes to shove

Looking around this empty room reminds me of your lies

I can't wait to wake up one day to despise your memory

Hate you for everything you never did for
me

Today's not the day though, tommorrow won't be either

My heart still wants you

Even though you were anything but true

One day though I will arise from a nightmare

Dark dreams will be of your memory

I will feel nothing but hate and in that moment I'll be free

With a blink of her eyes I felt naked waiting to see
What she had hidden in her gaze
Her secrets were my need
Since the first tear she had shed with a blush of shame
My obsession became to find the source
Find who caused all the pain
Beautiful ocean eyes shouldn't seem so gray
I ache to bring her back into the light
But something seems to be getting in the way
How am I to love her fully if she won't let me in?
Trying so hard to break the walls
Will our love ever really begin?
Desperate I will continue to wait
Needing to find a place in her heart
Praying that I'm not too late
Though the pain in her eyes still remains unspoken
Staying silent instead of being open
I will stay loving her even when she's broken

I decided to run on this grassy plain
Spreading my arms and hoping to stay sane
I imagined myself as a bird, at home in the sky
I thought maybe his words wouldn't reach me if I went real high
Oh how I would like to fly

I buried myself so his darkness couldn't seek
I thought maybe his madness had finally reached its peak
The hangman is so articulate when it comes to games such as this
He checked every grave and I only had a short lived bliss
Oh how I wish I never gave him my kiss

I needed to overcome this man
I searched desperately for a new plan
I hiked for miles up a mountainous path
I felt inner peace and sunlight at last
Oh how nice, but the sun was soon consumed by the blackness of his wrath

Beautful innocent man, don't come to close to me
But I want him closer so I can see
He has so much inner brightness
While I'm clouded by the hangman who deprives me of lightness
Still I want the sunny man and all his kindness

It is wonderful how you sway
Back and fourth, you're coming my way
Come to me my sweet
Let the music move my feet
Closer to you because I love it slow
I will follow wherever you go
Shadow, I am. Shadow I will stay
Mimicking you all the way
Never seen a soul so fine
It is beautiful how we intertwine

Hide away what you are

Never show the world your scars

For all they do is judge

All they know is the word love

They don't know the meaning behind the word

Don't understand that all you want is to be heard

Don't listen to find out why we're broken and confused

So why love when people are counting on you to lose

I'd rather trust what I know

A blade that is real and the blood that flows

You know what...Judge me please for I live in pain

Go on... Tell me that what I do is vain

So next time I answer the call of the blade

I'll cut straight and then I'll fade

(Must you take what they say to heart
Making any excuse to rip my world apart
Do you think you mean so little to me?
To think that I don't hurt each time I see you bleed
I need you to realize that everybody struggles with pain
Your not the only one struggling to stay sane
What is the point of our life blood?
If your going to waste it everytime you feel judged
What does it matter what other people think, it is your body, soul, your voice
At the end of the day, may it be your last or not, you have always had a choice)

Bleeding out in such a silent way
My concious did begin to fade
Torn between what is right and why he's wrong
Not wanting to continue but I was with him for so long
Eyes begged me to give in
Stomach churned as I committed the sin
Heart shattered as I told the one
Trembling with hate at what I had done
How dare I let the past taint our love
Weak is what I was
Ashamed is how I felt retelling how I had committed the deed
Surprise and relief that this man was willing to forgive a weakling such as me
Open eyes and a new heart beating for only him
Proving to us that I am stronger than I had been
This man who had given me a second chance when I deserved none
Told me to learn from my mistakes and to rise above
I had seen the pain I had caused him
Tears he had shed because of my sin
I bled out in such a silent way
Never again will I stray

Here is the soil where he kneeled making my heart do flips

A ring in his hand and a promise on his lips

So young and pure were we

Full of passion, how we felt so free

I said Yes, he said forever

My love was a dreamer, niavie but clever

Bombs did strike, men left

Mine followed suit with the promise on his breath

Sometimes promises prove to be moot, unable to be kept

Not every wish can be met

He was lost, a victim of the cause

One of many, there wasn't even a pause

Fighting continued, my heart did weep

When it was over I thought of the promise that he could not keep

Nothing to be done but to live

My life went on but I had no love to give

Heart was lost with him overseas

As I stand where he had kneeled, I feel him on the breeze

My love, so far away

I can not let go, so with me you stay

She was beautiful
Her blonde hair flowed past her waist
Very shy creature, always hiding her perfect face
Everything I had needed at the time
Love was something I'd never hoped to find
For a short while though
It had been mine
If I could stop this clock
Rewind back before the shock
I'd breathe her in and never release
Keep her tight. Hold her close to me
Missed opportunities don't compare to this
Being so close to eternal bliss
With one wrong move and one misguided doubt of the mind
Wrecked my chances with the girl I had searched so hard to find
My false happiness can only last so long
Sitting here while she is moving on, trying to be strong
Never knew it was possible to drown in memories
Knowing blue eyes that seem to haunt me, refusing to let me be
I need her next to me. This agony won't cease
I need my love. Only she can bring me peace

You are my sin

The reason I will never transcend

Never achieve my dreams

Stuck with my weakness and your schemes

Always was ***** whenever you were near

How could I be clean with you here?

Tainted me long ago

Your touch is all I know

Crave what you can give

It's as though your the reason I live

The man who is nice and wants me

I cannot tell him that your all I see

Always comes back to you once I fall

Im never able to have it all

Seep into my concious when I think everything is going fine

Reminding me bitterly that my heart isn't mine

You had a hold of me then, still won't let me be

My lost lover will always be my most fatal tragedy

Listen closely to the unsteady beat
Over and over it admits defeat
Victory seemed impossible
Everything then became unstoppable

Memory of being alone keeps me true
Escaped loneliness when I saw you

Always searched for the one
Living now for true love
Walking away instead of mending
Abandonment is not our ending
You will forever have my heart
So stay with me and never part

Whispering sweet nothings into my ear

Just loud enough that I can hear

Slowly seducing me into a trance

Preparing me for our lovers dance

Tugging off piece by piece

My need for you will never cease

Your mouth does like to tease

My body begs for you to please

Hips squirm in need

Lust wanting to be freed

Hands exploring with curious touch

Never wanted to be loved this much

Heat surrounding us in cloud of lust

Love lingering as we promise to trust

Caress me gently inside and out

Biting my lip to hold in a lustful shout

Picking me up to lay me down on the bed

Now help me cease this hunger that begs to be fed

Hair lays perfectly on shoulders so thin
Mirror reflects a beauty that is pure sin
Plump lips are painted a dark red
Air thick with words unsaid
Flushed as hands touch the skin
Moon doesn't dare shine as it begins
Body trembling begging for this hunger to be fed
Earth quaking for what lay ahead
Dancing in a brutal manner, a wicked end
Passionate for this hate. It's something that one cannot mend
Laying down on that bed of roses, flinching as they bled
If this was anybody else they'd have fled
One cannot simply leave an exotic flower
Deep ocean eyes that got more appealing with every passing hour
Resisting the pull is harder said than done
Sin had never looked more fun
Hair layed perfectly on shoulders so thin
Don't shy away, Dark Fate
Let me in

She lay so still and silent right next to me

Mama laid on her bed made of straw unmoving
Mama stayed quiet as I asked her to speak
Mama didn't acknowledged my presence
Mama had bruises that were faded all over her pale skin
Mama freed herself of papa's blows
Mama did leave me all alone
Mama looked so lonely in her red stained gown
Mama stinked up the barn as she continued to lay
Mama had her hands wrapped tightly around the dagger in her chest
Mama finally moved when strange men carried her out of this place
Mama wasn't here when the strangers came again
Mama didn't see them take me away from papa and his fists
Mama wouldn't know I was angry that she left
Mama couldn't see me crying over her memory
Mama needs to know that I think of her everyday  
Mama wanted to be put out of misery
Mama thought she had no choice but to leave me

Now I see all she wanted was to be free

Closed eyes and deep breathing
I sat comfortably
I was looking for something
I had opened the door, revealing a staircase
Stepping and breathing as I descended downward
I was so close to the bottom
I almost could see
Five, four, and just three more
My body froze
It's a certain kind of sickness, my fear.
A part of me wanted to complete my journey
I wanted to scream while jumping the rest of the way
But my feet continued to stay glued to the third step
I felt it gather around me, seeping into my bones
Its cold limbs squeezing me
I was held into place
Relaxing into my darkness helped me regain control
I thought surely I could move forward now
How silly of me and my stinging eyes
The dam broke
The body shook
Yet still, I could not move ahead
I had a glimpse
I had a dream
I was a step that would not be taken

You have been lurking in the shadows of sorrow

So full of pain

Shadows reached out fingers of death

Clawing at your despair

Dragging you down the path that is often taken

At the end burns an icy hell

Somehow you turned that darkness into light

You conquered so much, and you continue to move forward

Leaving the dark past behind

At times you hear your old sins calling your name

Ignore the temptation

What is the point of moving forward

If you only plan to give in

Everyday you will want to go back to the familiar

Remember that this path is for the better

Never turn back

When you do it will be worse than before

Will be harder to stay true

You will succeed if you focus on the now

Accomplish your goals

Don't ever turn back down the path of sin

Sorrow only wins when you give in