45 seconds of peace
I opened my eyes
my hair afloat, and my toes kicking through the water
the ocean consumes me.
45 seconds of waves
crashing on my vessel
I am cleansed
I am new

i can’t write about what it feels like
to run my fingers through your hair
or feel your hands on my skin
(no matter how much i want to)
i can’t speak to the softness of your lips
or what it sounds like
when you whisper my name
(no matter how much i want to)
i don’t know what the skin on your hips
feels like after you’ve showered
or what it’s like to wake up
to your breath on my shoulder
(no matter how much i want to)
i can’t write about the feeling
of our skin
soft and rough
holding hands
(oh god, i want to)
i can’t write about you
in anything other than the abstract
no
matter
how
much
i
want
to

girl with moonshine in  her eyes
she danced around wildly
letting the wind catch her feet

She kissed him softly
whispering sweet nothing
in his ears, courage from alcohol

she got out of his car
drunkenly happy
no there were no promise made

she walked into her room
crying her make up off
on her desk, an unopened bottle of moonshine.

i look into your
light blue eyes
and travel in deep
to this unknown universe
carved by your soul

i wander down
the lanes of your sorrow
down the roads of regret
and i take it all in
learn your mines by heart
tattoo the blueprints to my heart

i pick out
the tiny precious stones
that lay hidden on your mines
hold them in my hand
carry them in my heart

i travel down
all the way to the bottom
of your dangerous mine
any second now
and the earth will come
falling down on me
crashing me and my dreams

but i can’t help
wandering down
your danger mines

it is in times like this
when i miss you the most

when i picture
your white christmas
the smell of your misltoe
and the warmth of you fire

things i see through a dream
and nothing more
because you are not here
and you must not be real

but i still hope
and i still sing the songs
inside my head
and alongside with my heart
and my blood
that some day you will be back

though i know
that there is nothing left to do
but cope
with the unsaid truth
that my body seems to forget
with the ugly fact
that you are not coming back

and these holidays
have made me tired
of socializing so much
and giving smiles for fun