tell me to stop getting distracted
because it's so easy for you to say that
tell me to stop binge eating
because it's so easy for you to say that
tell me to stop overthinking things
because it's so easy for you to say that
tell me to stop getting scared
because it's so easy for you to say that
it's like you think i want to be like this
if i could stop then i would
it's harder than it seems
when i think about the word stop
the only think i can think about it to stop living

middle name

something some people flaunt
they say it within their introduction

something some people admit
a half-hidden secret

something some people hide
deny, refuse, reject

something some people lack
so they never think about it

anxiety is my middle name

some words leave a bitter taste

they taste like strong, lingering coffee
at first pleasant, but eventually unbearable

they taste like inhaled cigarette smoke
something never forgotten
but a significant part of childhood

they taste like hiraeth
longing for a life from once before
one without a missing piece

father is a bitter word

i'm just a tissue to you
i'm there for you to soak up your tears
but as soon as i tear
you can throw me away

if only you could ever know what you've done to me

ink stained my skin from where i wrote hate letters to myself

scars line my skin from where i tried to cut out everything i hated about myself

fat clings on my bones for dear life because i tried to starve it off

pain still flows along with my blood, traveling from my mind to my heart

if only it could leave with all the blood i tried to lose

you are like the sun
i might be flying too high
wanting you
you are further than i can reach
but close enough to hurt me
i can feel you melting my wax as
i come closer longingly
ignorant of my own doom
because i only realized
how little i knew you
so as i make a last attempt
my own wings tear apart
and i'm left
falling alone