I shuffle my music
and this one song
begins to filter through the speakers
I am instantly taken back to that warm summer night
driving to a concert
the windows rolled down
the music loud
We belt out the lyrics
not entirely on key
This moment brings a nostalgic smile
to my older face
I hope you still think of me and
I hope you smile
I hope I made as big of an impact on you
as you did on me
It's been a few years
though
so I get it if you've forgotten
But
do you search my name as much as I search yours?
Do you hear an old song
one we would sing together
and think of me?

I have never had the patience to solve a Rubix Cube
So
instead I cheat
I peel each different colored sticker off
and place them in a way that
makes it appear solved
complete
I guess I do the same with myself
I peel off each of my colors
aspects of my personality
and rearrange them so I appear solved
complete
But under the seemingly ordered colors
I am scrambled

I knew I would fall
But I still had to try
I just didn't realize
you'd be the one to push me

I have to keep reminding myself
I don't love you
I love the memories you represent

The flood gates open when you smell the familiar scent from your past. Remembering times that were long forgotten in the back of your mind. Every person has that one scent that instantly draws them back to a simpler, happier time. That one scent that brings forth memories that were buried deep within your subconscious, dusts them off, and lays them out in the light.

The smell of your mother’s perfume - brings you back to when she held you.
The smell of play dough - brings you back to that small seat in the classroom mashing colors together.
The smell of your house - where you instantly feel safe and can be yourself.
The smell of cut grass - shows your father pushing the heavy lawn mower as you play outside in a spring evening.
The smell rain - brings you to a moment of renewed energy and excitement for what’s to come.
The smell of smoke - reminds you of late night talks around a bonfire.
The smell of your old boyfriend’s cologne - Hits you when you pull out his sweater and remember the night he gave it to you.
The smell of wood chips - where you spent many days playing and laughing with the friends you haven’t seen for a while now.

It comes when you least expect it. These smells of nostalgia enter through your nose and hit you straight in the heart. And you can’t help the evocative smile that pulls across your face.

You paint me to be a beautiful rose
with fragile pink petals
and a stem that could snap with the gentlest of touches
You tell me I should be
dainty, delicate
My lips should be soft and quiet
because there is only one thing my mouth is good for
and it is not speaking
My hands should be small, clasped within a man's,
not folded into an angry fist thrusted in the air
My whole body should be hairless
because who would ever want to **** a hairy gorilla
I know I wouldn't (oh, wait...)
You mock me for needing to go to
the library
the party
the bathroom
with at least one other girl
And maybe your jokes would be funny
if I wasn't so terrified all the time
because society tells women
"don't get *****"
instead of telling men
"don't ****"
And it's time for a change
because I may be a beautiful rose
but roses have thorns
and mine are as sharp as daggers.

I constantly forget
that my heart is much more
than a simple *****
that pumps blood to the rest of my body.