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Jaicob May 2021
ten ten ten
Milligrams
of a drug
is not good.
Not enough
to get high
but enough
to die from.
Hundreds of
little pills
fill my mouth
as I drift
Off to sleep.
Suicide.
I could use
these green pills
Jaicob May 2021
Cold Diet Coke
Administered intravenously
Injected into my veins
And fueling my anxiety.
First, it was only a few
Drops to keep me ready,
But now it's full gallons
And even that's not quenching.

People always ask me,
"Why push milligrams and ounces
Of cold Diet Coke?
It'll make you choke.
After time, you'll croak.
You're such a stupid bloke,
Pushing Diet Coke."

To this I have to say that you
Are quite mistaken, sir.
I only do it because I am
Addicted to the tiny bubbles
In my fizzy bloodstream.
I know it's very dangerous,
But I haven't died quite yet.
I might just try some other kind
To fix my upset stomach.

"Zero calorie soda,
Amazing as it is,
Though it tastes delicious to you,
Isn't healthy food.
It's gonna cause an issue.
You're still depressed and blue.
Your face is green in hue."

Again I must say you lie
To steal my fleeting happiness.
I need the drip, drip, dropping through
My swiftly closing arteries.
I don't have much time left,
And I'm at Death's bright doorstep.
I'm taking my final breaths,
And I'm on my deathbed.

I just want to tell you
You made me do this.
It's your fault.
You're to blame.
Yours is the shame.

You outlive yet another son.
You could've saved this one.
My chances are slim to none.
I approach the glistening sun
As the fungus and rot outrun
The weight of death o'er a ton.
Jaicob May 2021
Locked in the stall
Waiting for you to pass
Time stands still
As you sit on your ***
Not moving an inch
Just talking to your friends
Making my life worse
Until the world ends
I've been in here for fifteen minutes, but you just continue your worthless conversation.. I have all day
Jaicob May 2021
Lemons into lemonade...
That's what they tell me.
It's so hard to make lemonade
When your wrists want to bleed.
The juice stings my flesh
And I just want to end.
The scars remain on my flesh
A reminder of my friend.
Pain is the only one I can tell
Nothing else is real.
Other people will spill and tell
The secret of how I feel.

Lemons into lamentation
That's all I have today-
Nothing but hopeless lamentation-
Until life stops dumping lemons on my tray.
Jaicob May 2021
I must be hellbent on making my life worse
Either that or I guess I'm cursed
Jaicob May 2021
My body is a cage.
This broken mortal frame
Grasps onto air and lies
As it falls and fails to try.
I morph its ugly worthlessness
With personality and fitness
To break my ribs and then to
Cause fat to redistribute.
My body is a cage,
And its broken, warped frame
Will never, ever cease to be
Something that disgusts me.
Jaicob May 2021
No matter how many times I'm called beautiful
or pretty, of gorgeous, or any other comment,
I will always cry when I hear the name
You try to call me adoringly...

It is dead.
I bury it here
In the words.
I write its tombstone.
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