Oh, {deadname},

You're my beautiful daughter.
I know you're only lying.
You'll never, ever be a boy
No matter how long you keep trying.

Give up on transitioning.
Your mind has been poisoned.
The media has consumed you-
All the lies eating their way in.

Finally, you are my precious baby girl.
You're very smart, and you know that.
Don't think you're a boy- you're not.
You should put on your smiling mask

Until you're not sick anymore,

-Your loving mother

Writing words in his skin,
A young boy looks in the mirror.
He can no longer cry...
His chest rises and falls
Until it rises but falls no longer.
Never flat enough, he screams,
Slashing his wrists to prove he bleeds.
He wants to live... but can't
Seem to escape fate.
He was born wrong.
He doesn't look the way he wants.
He isn't right. Broken.

I am not your daughter.

I swirl my finger in the stew
Of water, blood, and tears.
As the ripples flow through streaking liquid,
Rocks show the motions, wearing down over years.

Seafoam froths along the shore,
Blistering the scorching sand
And floating off the world as I
Try to catch falling stars in my hand.

Humanoid figurines dance along
Barely distinguishable from each other
As they dip and twirl across the floor.

Adversaries to what I've done...
Haters of the methods I've used
All dance across my mind in violent war.

They struggle to keep balance as
I shove them away, trying to save
Whatever is left of my battered core

Pain wracks my fragile bones.
Everything hurts me,
So please, please don't
Come close or touch me.

I can't look at my body
Because it isn't what I want.
I know it's selfish, you see,
But it's a paper without a font.

My skin is a tapestry of
Beauty and pretty and all
In the perfect girl you'd love,
But guys: absolutely appalled.

Nothing matched on me-
I'm the missing left sock,
My bones' rattle is all I'll be
Until I take the final walk.

Bottles of carbonation
And bottles of tears,
Bottles of death wishes
And bottles of jeers,
I've bottled all the nasty looks
People've given me over the years.
Now all that's left to get over
Is all of my worthless fears.

Bottles of carbonation sit silently
Humming and buzzing beside me,
Sitting open on my nightstand as I
Avoid conversation with the
Other hundreds of people who try
Desperately to strain to reach
Me before my wounds ooze pus
And blood and Death comes to reap.

Drinks keep me alive through his pain
It now courses through my veins.
It's why I twitch when hearing my name,
One final desperate gasp of breath
Before I succumb to painful death.

Drowsily dreaming the dreary day away,
I lean 'gainst the sill, looking out on the city.
Deep sighs cascade from my open mouth
Before I close my eyes and hum a diddy,
Remembering the people who've shown me pity,
As the train rattles on heading south.