poetry comes easiest
alone in cold and dark,
with a bottle in one's hand
and a dungeon in one's heart.

trapped inside the thought of you,
I cannot find the key.
a hopeless ragged prison
is all that I can be.

home always sounded pleasant;
I found comfort in your voice
and was swept into your gentle grasp.
I had no other choice.

a constant war inside my mind
to love or be afraid.
I asked my heart what I should do.
he said,
" a decision has been made"

let me explore with great length
the cliffs overhanging peril in my mind;
bluffs that overlook a sea
of fear and self-consciousness.
let me not stay here in wretched form,
complying with rules made by them.
them the people who mock my self-worth;
them the people who wallow in my loathing.

let me conquer this world unknown
and explore the cracks & crevices of my mind.
even I know not what lays there, in darkness;
even I know not what I am or why,
or how, or even for how long.

I yearn for knowledge or maybe the absence of.
I fear the vices that consume me each night.
need I these vices always?
need I these vices every night forever?
I am afraid to know the answer.

despair is nothing in the face of truth.
help me get there;
help me be not afraid in the face of peril.
i will walk to the edge of that cliff and fall,
but what happens next, I do not know.

yeah it's 3:59 in the morning,
so what? there's ink in my veins and
a bottle of ***** in my system.
I'm bleeding novels here
and it's a rare blood type I've got.

The words pour from severed wounds
and stain the carpet, bed sheets,
the counter tops and floor tiles.
shrieks from my roommate,
"what the hell's going on?!
someone call an ambulance!"

(darkness)

yeah it's 7:03 in the morning,
so what? I woke up attached to a machine
and it wasn't even the government.
chuckles from the nurses,
"he's got a sense of humor this one"

every last letter fled my body
until I collapsed.
and suddenly, I understood
that death isn't about flowers, tombstones,
black dresses or sullen faces.
it's about the words that were left unsaid.

there's a thunder buried
somewhere deep in my heart
that only the lightning of your lips
can unleash.
there's a storm in my veins
and
I love you
like it's hurricane season.

darling,

let me be your ocean shore.
bring me your waves
and wash them up against me
like it's high tide.
let's entangle in one another
until no one can tell
where my sands end
and
where your waters begin.

you see,

people always say
"don't go towards the light" when
someone 's dying, but
you've been my light for ages
and following you
was the best choice I ever made.
I am reborn in the comfort
of your arms
and
if continued happiness with you
means going towards the light,
I would die every time.