His fingers reach for the glass pipe and all you can think about

are his eyes

and how they’re the color of every city you’ve never lived in.

The smoke undulates from his lips

like the most honeyed death sentence

into the chasm that surrounds the two of you, and the words

“he’ll destroy me”

are ringing in your ears.

He’s a paradoxical boy,

with his shooting star hands and his nebulous mind,

that carelessly leaves his magnetism lying around

for you to trip over.

Perhaps that’s how he gets girls on their knees.

You have fallen for a boy whose words fall from his lips

like dark matter, but he is

trapped inside the black hole of his own mind.

He cannot fold himself around your galaxy

because he cannot escape his own.

He’s lost there.

The sadness in his eyes

is a mirror

and as you stare at yourself you realize

this is the first and last time you’ll love your own reflection.

Now, you will only meet up in the

liminal spaces between this life and the next.

He will come to you in daydreams,

this is the only place where you can learn to love each other.

When you are in the shadowy spot

between sleep and wake,

refrain from memorizing the outline of his lips when he smirks.

The sunlight will take it away

as quickly as it gave it.

after you left,
anxiety attacks threw my body
into a fitful quake- a tremble
my bed couldn't suppress.

and to ease my aching mind
about your absence from
within familiar walls,  
I splattered blood, red crimson
chemicals on bitten nails.

they shimmer, yet
there's still nothing
beautiful about this
painted lady.

Furious tides, black black skies

Water chilled, like my heart

Waves fierce begging demise

Hollowed soul, beckons my blood.

Fire tears guiding my hate and your deepest fear...


Curse you resentment

Shower me with faith

Relieve this demanding desire to bludgeon spirit and hope of the one who keeps me living

Fail me not heart so fueled

Let me surrender this which makes me merciful or set this evil in the stone, so I can transform

Let me be kind or let malevolence reign

Dominance sway no more

Rivers wrath o' sin, utilize my entire being

Or strike my heart with life, and rid this vengeance so pure

Bring the rays so warm with it's beauty so sweet and incandescent all that is right

Or swallow me whole, and blacken my eyes so all who encounter me have time to flee

Let them destroy me with true affection...

overwhelm me with good intentions

Or shatter every shred of my beauty...

Contort me to my selfish form of desire for pain, drenched in the fear that I bestow

Hummid, disgust, gasping dirt darkened night

O' sun obliging comfort O' generous warmth...

Bless me calm winds.

Take in the light and rid me of sin

Save me...

Condem me...

Do as you will...

Just do it quickly and leave me fulfilled