A torn mind with a bleeding heart exists at 3 A.M.

Cigarettes and pens burning through his fingers.
The sorrow of his tears melting through his cheeks.

Her words on his mind,
he felt sadness in his veins.

He remembers the warmth in her eyes,
the grace of her smile,
and the comfort of her stare.
He closes his eyes for a second,
and he felt home.

No sadness can bear what he did,
No agony can compare his own deal,
His sacrifices were all have been in vain.

Now, his pen has broken him into pieces.
The production of agony,
the destruction of his heart,
the remnants of love,
have vanished decisively.

But every letter that he writes is only spelled with her name,
he figures.

He may never see the light in her anymore,
for she was the only light he ever saw.

You could not help but fall for her
Despite warnings from every cell of your brain
You could not contain
Your curiosity
How could someone be
Different shades of different emotions
At the same time
How could someone go
From being the blazing sun
To a violent storm
In the blink of an eye
And that was the trouble with her
You could not tell the next thing she does
And there were many with a prettier face than her
And a few with soul more tender
But none that could stir
A single emotion
While
One look from her
Caused ripples in your soul
The longing she developed
Became insatiable
Cause she was not the caresses and soft kisses sort
She would make sure you meant
Every compliment you uttered
Before she accepted them
She would ask why
You loved her
Instead of saying I love you too
She was never just simply pretty
You know the kind you put on your shelves
For a show
She was not just one element
but the whole package
Something you had never witnessed before
She had fire
Her  feelings weaved silent poetry
All around her
And everyone who saw her could see that
Everyone but herself
Her thoughts were too loud
-loud enough to make the deaf-toned world hear them
She was reckless personified
Descending towards nothing
And you would gladly go down with her
If it only gave you  few more moments to have her look into your eyes
Black eyes
Not seeing at you
But through you
Making you unravel yourself
She could not be bound to a place
She was the wind
that ruffles your hair
caresses your skin
and sweeps your tears off your cheeks
and fly away
just like that
leaving you fixated
on that spot
waiting for her to hit you again
but she is already gone
You never wanted to love her
Yet here you are
Loving her anyway.

There’s a different world, up on this hill.
Below is a field of broken dreams,
that gives you an unnerving chill.
A place where the branches are beams
where children dangle from their feet.
A place where young lovers meet.

She moves swiftly to the absence of sound.
The limitations are nonexistent.
Like a ragdoll, she throws her weight around,
Her mind is anywhere but the present.

Wind brushes her skin, pushing her white dress.
With each step there is progress in her life,
Leaving behind her silly, little mess.
Once dancing, she forgets the sharpened knife.

Her mind is full of curiosities,
Her heart is rallying against her ribs.
She is elegant with monstrosities,
She has left the island of useless squibbs.

She patiently dances her life away,
For there is no longer the need to pray.

It's as if the knowledge of our terminal nature
Awakens the fatal agents in our bones
That it is only when we learn of death
That we start dying
Such as with childhood
A time defined by ignorance of an end
Seems infinite
Yet as we start to see
Our favorite characters in the books we read
Reach the end of their adventures
Even with the promise of happily ever after
It is evident that just as the lines on the pages ceased
The lives told of in the story therein likewise fade into history
And then
It clicks...
In that instant we see the disease of fatality
A true virus to be caught
Transmitted through literature and tragedy
Crescendoing to an inevitable crash
No cure to be discovered
Only catalysts that act
To speed the immutable throws of death

I still see your face, in the same place, pages turning.
I still feel your space, heart at the same pace, pulses racing.
I still hear your voice, with all of its grace, so amazing.
I still taste your lips, my favorite taste, never changing.

Missing you for all the wrong reasons, nothings changed.
Needing you, these strong feelings,  we've exchanged.
Taught me things about love, using pain - the concept alone - insane.
Felt sane, in our zone- it's not a game - it was our home; a long
story short - the facts get distorted but the truth will live on
Then karma comes along, depending what side of the path you on
Some things stayed different some things stayed the same.
Wish we could have been strong all along.

i never ran out of words.
i'd see the night sky and i could describe it in a hundred ways --
i could say it was the ocean reflecting the twinkling lights above;
or maybe a moonlit path now visible through the waves.

i'd feel the wind brushing my cheek
and write about how it tousled my hair into messy tendrils--
how it plays with the leaves one moment
and the next leaves them astray under warmly-lit streetlamps.

oh i could write for endless hours
about disasters, impossibilities, probabilities
and i never ran out of words.

there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet and they never failed me.

but then i saw you.

I've got a mess of a mind as of late
Thoughts so loud, that I can't concentrate
They're behind my eyes and beneath my skin
So many now, both are wearing thin
But you don't know, for I don't show
The thoughts racing around below
Of all the noise they always make
I'll keep quiet for sanity's sake
You don't see, that in the course of a day
The loudest thoughts are those I never say