This unnatural light
like the last summer
before the last winter
sends the grackles
into the cedars
rattling their wings
in the evergreens
making a sound like Ishmael
casting his bones
on the deck of Ahab's ship.

Allow me to explain who she is
Before I get too far into this
She is the memory inside of the kiss
And so you don't have to guess the rest

She is the moment that you hold on
The thought when it's fully grown
The very center of the rumbling storm
Where the wind always sideways blows

She is both the disease and the cure
The basic need inside the order
The forest deep speaks kindly of her
For all that she is worth

She is the ride that comes with the thrill
The child in time that can not sit still
The meaningful climb to the top of the hill
She's dressed to ****

She's the direction that keeps coming up
The long due confession that unties the knot
The very essence of never enough
The smile that tells you it's love

And when that love is added up
She is the total to the whole sum
Starting off with number one
She is the song to be sung

I hope this helps you understand
All that she is and all that she can
Taking all this, in all that is left
As nothing else need be said

I've given you warmth and comfort, but every time I invite you to stay a little longer, you'd tell me you need to go.  

Now I know what that meant, *I was your shelter but never your home.

We are scared,
We are scared of forever,
Forever of being together,
Forever of not being together.

You and I,
he and she.
We all know
that our life is temporary,
then why to seek forever.
They say "Nothing lasts forever."
then what is forever?
As per as I sense forever,
Its hypothetical.
so what are we scared of?
Are we scared of what doesn't even exist?

Let's just stop sleeping on it so hard.
Let's just live through it.
Let's just live thoroughly.

Let's just walk through the path,
enjoying the journey,
without thinking where the destination will lead us.

Let's just watch the flapping  wings of flying birds,
higher
lower,
everywhere,
without questioning where their nests belong.

Let's just swim in the ocean of our spark,
following the waves,
without the dread of drowning into it.

Let's just love living,
Let's just enjoy the freedom of being.
Let's just adore more,
when there is world to explore.

Let's just not think of,
What will stay
& what will perish?
When we have a whole lot to cherish.

Cause what will stay
or what will not..
Who knows !
so let's just cut this crap aside.

Let's just free ourselves a bit more.
Let's just inhale "NOW".
lets inhale it thoroughly.
Let's just feel the beauty of " NOW".
The more of it.
Every single bit of it.

I visit my shadows frequently, dipping in and out, through curiosity and in fear, I see myself, drowning in the darkness and I grasp for the lightest parts that I know exist to pull myself out.

It's a wondrous feeling, the ability to walk along the edge, to know what it means to live in both worlds and pretend you have the option to choose in any moment which side the coin is going to land on.

Who am I today? And how long will this last? What triggers the change or am I the trigger, My mind the gun?

Firing off thoughts so rapidly, the shield of my logic has no chance of standing in the way of my reactions. I am blinded by the flash of the sudden explosion and temporarily stunned.

Being the person that tries to "keep it all together" is a cause for major shrapnel when it all blows apart.

I am sewing a dress
with the thread of strength,
And knots of ambitions,
And when it’s ready,
Then will iron it
with the remission,
I am sewing my broken soul!

By: Nida Mahmoed.

there is nothing
more earthshattering
than discovering
someone you loved
is a stranger;
nothing more than a
monster in a familiar mask