Maryann I

Mar 21

Peter Gerstenmaier

Freckles

I can count the
Freckles on your face
While your fingers can
Follow the pattern of the
Slashes on my back

I'm afraid you may take a while, though...

#freckles #slashes

Maryann I Mar 21

Rain Songs

The sky hums in hush-toned hymns,
a low lullaby spilled from clouded lips,
each droplet a note pressed into the pavement,
a whispered memory stitched in silver.

Windows shiver with ghost-sung verses,
curtains breathing with the rhythm of sorrow,
and the wind—a cello bow against the bones of trees—
tunes the ache beneath the leaves.

My heart is a rooftop, dented with echoes,
each raindrop tapping a forgotten name.
Love trickles down the spine of gutters,
flooding the roots of things I tried to bury.

A sigh in the storm drapes over the hills,
a velvet hush, soft as moth wings on skin,
and puddles bloom like mirrored portals,
reflecting versions of us that never unraveled.

I walk through the hush, barefoot and blinking,
as the world dissolves in a watercolor blur,
clouds unraveling like old lullabies,
and time dripping slower beneath the storm’s spell.

A single leaf spins a slow waltz in the wind,
a dancer suspended in the music of mourning,
and somewhere, in the hush between thunder,
I hear the song you never finished singing.

The rain writes elegies in rivulets,
soft verses sliding down windowpane spines,
and though the storm may pass without promise,
I press my ear to the dusk,
and still, I listen.

A gentle reflection on loss, memory, and the quiet things that linger in the rain.

#rain #dreamscape #melancholy #lullaby

Maryann I Mar 21

Ash to Blossom

I was a cavern, hollowed by storms,
veins lined with soot, breath laced with ash.
Grief hung from my ribs like moss in a forgotten wood,
a slow rot curling beneath my tongue.

The moon turned its back; even stars whispered away,
and I wore my rage like a cloak of thorns,
each step scattering petals of ruin,
each silence a howl stitched beneath my skin.

I became a storm cellar of memories,
echoing thunder that never touched sky,
harboring shadows that fed on the scent of blame,
their claws tracing old wounds like sacred scripture.

But dawn cracked the stone—
a golden vine threading through grief’s grip,
spilling warmth into marrow that had forgotten how to bloom.
The river inside me stirred—slow, reluctant—

yet still it moved, washing silt from the hollows.
I knelt in that current, palms open, and let the darkness slip—
a feather carried downstream, a name released to the wind.

Forgiveness was not a surrender, but a seed,
buried deep beneath frostbitten roots,
unfolding in silence, unfurling toward light.

And now—
my heart, once a cathedral of echoes,
is a garden humming with bees,
each bloom a memory healed, not erased.

#darkness #forgivness

Maryann I Mar 19

Petals of Poison

I loved you like spring loves the thaw,
like lungs crave air,
like art bleeds from the soul of the artist.
And I thought love was enough
to keep the thorns from drawing blood.
I thought devotion would bloom into safety—
but I was only watering a graveyard.

The sickness started slow.
First, a cough—
a whisper of rose dust on my tongue.
Then came the petals,
delicate at first,
pink and trembling with hope.
I cradled them like confessions,
believed they were proof of love.

But they kept coming—
petal after petal,
each one heavy with what you wouldn’t give back.
You kissed me with a smile,
while my lungs filled with flowers
planted by hands that never loved me,
only held me for convenience,
for control,
for conquest.

You were a storm beneath soft skin,
a poison wrapped in perfume.
And I loved you—
God, I loved you,
even while you killed parts of me
with your indifference,
even before I knew the rot ran deeper
than abandonment.

Now I know.
Now I know what you are.
A ****** draped in sunlight,
a predator with a paintbrush smile.
You painted me pretty,
then picked me apart.
And I mistook the pain for passion,
your silence for mystery,
your selfishness for sadness.

My body remembers every time
you touched without love,
every moment I mistook trauma for intimacy.
The petals grew darker—
maroon now,
coated in blood,
choking me from within.

I coughed them into my hands,
and still whispered your name
as if you’d come back with kindness,
as if you were ever kind.

I don’t want to mourn you.
I want to mourn me—
the version of me who still believed in you,
who still thought love was supposed to hurt
but not like this.
Never like this.

Hanahaki, they call it—
the disease of unreturned love.
But this isn’t love anymore.
This is grief.
This is rage.
This is survival.

And someday,
someday I’ll breathe again,
clear-chested, flowerless,
free.

This is an older poem written during a difficult time in my life. I’ve since found healing and am now in a healthy, loving relationship. It took time to recover, but things are getting better, and I’m learning to grow from the pain.

#heartbreak #grief #fading #bloom

Maryann I Mar 19

100 Ways to Love

1. Through a whisper in the dark, reminding them they are never alone.
2. Through the quiet presence that asks nothing in return.
3. Through laughter shared on a rainy day.
4. Through the comfort of a warm hand, reaching out in silence.
5. Through eyes that see past the flaws, embracing the whole.
6. Through a word of encouragement, when doubt clouds their mind.
7. Through a hug that lingers just long enough to say, “I’m here.”
8. Through the sacrifice of your own comfort, for their peace.
9. Through the patience to wait, knowing love is often about timing.
10. Through a song sung softly in the morning, just to greet them.
11. Through the way your smile brightens their worst day.
12. Through knowing their dreams by heart, even before they say them.
13. Through remembering the smallest details, because they matter.
14. Through the way your heart skips a beat at their name.
15. Through a quiet moment shared, when words aren’t needed.
16. Through an open ear, listening to their fears.
17. Through a shared glance that says more than a thousand words.
18. Through standing beside them, even when the world doesn’t.
19. Through an apology that shows vulnerability.
20. Through the joy of seeing them grow, even if it means they leave your side.
21. Through a night spent talking about everything and nothing.
22. Through the simple act of being fully present, not distracted.
23. Through the hands that hold tightly, never letting go in fear.
24. Through a love that never tires of giving.
25. Through the willingness to be vulnerable, letting them see your true self.
26. Through the quiet bravery of trusting them with your heart.
27. Through a shared cup of coffee in the morning, savoring the moment.
28. Through the support you offer, even when it’s difficult for you.
29. Through letting them find their own way, while still being there to guide.
30. Through the peace found in simply being next to them.
31. Through the sacrifices made quietly, without expecting recognition.
32. Through forgiveness when it’s the hardest thing to do.
33. Through the simple joy of waking up beside them.
34. Through letting go of past hurts, to make room for healing.
35. Through laughter that echoes in the quietest moments.
36. Through the silence that says, “I’ll always be here.”
37. Through a promise to always try, even when it seems easier not to.
38. Through the shared experience of creating something beautiful together.
39. Through the little things that make them feel seen, heard, and loved.
40. Through sharing your fears and showing them that vulnerability is strength.
41. Through holding their hand in the dark, when nothing else is certain.
42. Through the way you give them space to be themselves.
43. Through protecting their heart as if it were your own.
44. Through the understanding that love isn’t always perfect, but it’s always enough.
45. Through the comfort of knowing they’ll always have your back.
46. Through your words that build them up, never tear them down.
47. Through giving them time to grow, even when you wish they’d stay the same.
48. Through giving without expecting, because love is never transactional.
49. Through the trust that allows both of you to be fully yourselves.
50. Through the silence that says, “I’ll always be here.”
51. Through an unexpected gesture, just to show you care.
52. Through remembering the things they never asked you to remember.
53. Through letting go of your own fears, so they can face theirs.
54. Through the quiet comfort of just sitting together, no need for conversation.
55. Through your commitment, even when it’s easier to walk away.
56. Through your patience when they’re not ready to speak.
57. Through the moments where you give your all, and expect nothing back.
58. Through creating a space where they feel at home in your heart.
59. Through the way you admire them in the quiet moments.
60. Through sharing your soul, knowing it will never be judged.
61. Through the way you cherish the quiet moments, as much as the loud ones.
62. Through holding on when they want to let go.
63. Through saying “I love you,” without needing to say it.
64. Through the joy of seeing them succeed, as though their success were your own.
65. Through a shoulder to cry on, without the need for words.
66. Through a gentle reminder of how strong they truly are.
67. Through your belief in them, even when they can’t believe in themselves.
68. Through shared memories that only the two of you understand.
69. Through giving them the freedom to be who they are, without judgment.
70. Through letting them know they’re never a burden, no matter what.
71. Through your dedication to their happiness, even if it means sacrificing your own.
72. Through the simple act of choosing them, every single day.
73. Through the patience of waiting for them to come back, when they need space.
74. Through the joy found in their smallest victories.
75. Through the strength found in vulnerability, when you trust them with your secrets.
76. Through the way you protect their heart, knowing it’s fragile.
77. Through the way you find beauty in the way they see the world.
78. Through sharing your insecurities, knowing they’ll be met with love.
79. Through the way you admire them, even when they can’t see their own greatness.
80. Through choosing kindness, even in moments of frustration.
81. Through knowing their fears without them speaking a word.
82. Through choosing to grow together, even when it feels uncomfortable.
83. Through the way you embrace their flaws as part of their beauty.
84. Through the moments where you challenge them, to help them grow.
85. Through respecting their independence, while still offering support.
86. Through the way you allow yourself to be fully loved by them.
87. Through the softness in your gaze, when everything else feels hard.
88. Through your willingness to learn from them, as they learn from you.
89. Through your ability to make them feel like the most important person in the room.
90. Through the way you let them in, even when it’s terrifying.
91. Through the way you speak their name, like it’s the most beautiful sound.
92. Through your desire to protect their heart, no matter the cost.
93. Through the way you see their soul, beyond the surface.
94. Through the love you give, expecting nothing but their happiness in return.
95. Through the way you show them that they’re enough, just as they are.
96. Through the way you make them feel safe, even in the chaos.
97. Through the way you help them find peace, even when they don’t know how to.
98. Through your unspoken promise to always fight for them.
99. Through every moment of your love, showing them they are worth it.
100. Through every breath, knowing that to love them is the greatest gift of all.

#countless #love #devotion #serenity #treasure #unbreakable

Mar 19

Immortality

Forest of Life

In the tranquil woods,
I wander,
each tree a thought,
each breeze a lesson.

Remind me,
in every pathway,
I am part of it all,
in this art,
called life.

"Everything happens for a reason, good or bad."
And after watching (a lotttt of times) and analyzing Avengers: Endgame, I believe that they are very right, lol.

#nature #reflection #life #serenity #journey #mindfulness #growth #peace #woods