words
          flow
                out
                     of my mouth
                                           like droplets
             falling
out                          
                   of
                                         the
          air


falling
f a l l i n g
                                   further
                apart

never
together
again

the crazy men
they carry me away
up and over
around a bend
and then back again
the crazy men
they carry me away
and i finally feel free

scratch on the wall
scream in the halls
this is an asylum
revile him
beguile him
let me out
please

she loves me
she loves me not
i feel giddy
i feel love
is it real this time?
i wonder
will i be lied to?
will i be insulted?
punched?
kicked?
cut?
yelled at?
called out?
made fun of?
laughed at?
will you never feel the same way i do?
because when i cried
you didnt
and when i got knocked down
you didnt
and when i died
you didnt
and i wonder
if i should love you at all

i was five years-
mabye 8-
i dont know
but i lost him
and i
        lost
              myself
                         too
ah mon grandpere
tu es tres important
je
          deteste
                              toi

why did you leave
i needed you
dad needed you
but most of all
you needed you

Hey guys! This is the last time that I will be on this website until at least February 2025. There is so much going on in my life, and i need to take a break from all my hobbies at the moment. I love you all!
<33

#PEACEOUT

here i sit
in my bed
the spiders creeping up my wall
i can hear them
they might bite me
but i do nothing at all

khan was killed!
we must rejoice
but the communists
fully took over
but then what?
they change to islam?

the islamic properties are key
they practice islam
islam is life

but there is still fighting
fighting over friendship
when will this war end?

afghanistan

what a wonderful friendship!
i thought to myself
i was only more than a babe when i met him
he was kind
he was funny
he was fun to play with
and he was my first
'friend'
as we grew older
i turned five
we started to talk
i remember our first conversation
we talked about dinosaurs
and i thought
what a wonderful
'friend'
and then i made new
'friends'
but they didnt last long
it wasnt long before
they found someone new
and left me to play
in the morning dew
wow
those are some wonderful
'friends'
and then we turned ten
he was still with me
through it all
through my hardships
through my pain
through my sadness
wow
what a wonderful
'friend'
and here we are today
i can see him as i am writing this poem
his first girlfriend
i cannot express how happy i am
for him
and he
is a true
friend.

hit me with a brick
throw me at a wall
where does this come from
i don't know at all

lights out
trees down
school out
our dependencies
we rely so much
it really is the truth

up the ladder you go
before it starts to snow
get up off your low
you will finally be beaux
trust me its not faux
i swear that you will glow
so up the ladder you go

i wish i was an only child
but sometimes i dont
my sister
she shares
she loves
she laughs
but all i respond with is a hit
a yell
a scream
all i am is mean
and sometimes i wish
she was an only child

the fire in your eyes
the fire in your heart
you strive
to do good
the fire in your eyes
the fire in your heart

depression
is the man lying next to me in bed
he might not be real
but he is there
his cold fingers
creeping up my spine
ready to attack
at any moment

depression
is not liking the things you used to like
like the movies
videogames
or friends
i dont know why
why wont it end
will i end the depression
or will the depression end me

depression
is the lost love
for someone
that you like
but never have the feeling to ask them
when she dated another boy
it only made me sink deeper

depression
is the friends and family
who let you go
in your deepest moments
when i needed them the most

depression
is the knife
on my desk
covered in blood
waiting to strike
me again

depression
is the void
pulling you closer
when you dont know it
like a black hole
trying to swallow me up

depression
is you
its me
its in all of us
but i cant stop it
should i try
or die
that is the question

depression
is a world where i cannot be myself
i feel
like my body
is not good enough
my clothes
my shoes
my hair
my weight
it will never be enough

depression
is windowless room
no light
i cant get out
i cant get out
let me out
let me out

let me be myself
without the void
without the man
without all the little things
let my live my life

leave
me
alone

afghan traditions
not hard to find
their hospitality is like no other
the food, crisp and light
or fluffy and melting
you know it will be good

assalamu alaikum!
wa alaikum assalaam
you say
it is a greeting of sorts
a way to say hello!

islam
is their religion
belief in the oneness of god
beleif in all

afghanistan

one
is a number
just above zero
sometimes
used to refer
to me
my looks
my personality
but when i was one
i didnt care
about the little things
i guess
i am just truly a one

many colors
many drawings
i made when i was three
but they would break
just like my heart
why would you do this
to me

i rip up the drawings
on my wall
screaming
at the world
but those crayons
the many colors
will always be there
for me

i cry
i scream
i starve
i cut
but those crayons
stand untouched
waiting
and waiting
and waiting
for me
to play with them again

rich of culture
vast and far
deep and wide
there is no end
to the beauty of you
dresses and food and colors here
stories and fires and dancing there
so much of it
it never ends
this beautiful place

afghanistan

they became soviet
just because of him
the bad men
the crazy men
they ruin it all

khan
cousin of the king
becomes the prime
and looks to the soviets
the communists
for help

but not all bad
he allowed the women
to do what they like
care how they look

afghanistan

speak to me
like you speak to her
ill search for the perfect word
perfect response
and here!
it is...
but where did you go?
looking in the morning snow
you ran off
just like the others
ready or not
here i come
or maybe
a different word
to make you happy

she likes me too!!
she likes me too!
she likes me too
she likes me too...

drip
drip
the iv tube drips life into his veins
it's the only thing keeping him alive
'alive'
he's alseep
but he'll wake up, right?
i'm sure he'll be ok

drip
drip
the blood drips down the short blade
trying to take his own life
'life'
he'll get over it
he'll be ok, right?
i'm sure he'll be ok

drip
drip
the teachers vicious smile
kills him from the inside
he hates himself
and the teacher too
die
drip
drip

oh them lazy ladies
walkin down the the lane
fill me up with *****
to just drink down the pain

there is knife
on the table
next to me
i'm home alone

988 wont help
neither will my parents
or my friends
or even my dog
they cant help

i'm crying
i need help
but i cant reach for my phone
or the knife
is this good?
or bad

to all my friends
who would never miss me
*******
but to you
my friend
i hope that you
can live a happy life
without me
without knives

so take this poem
as a gift
to keep going
to keep going strong
cause even if i am gone
you arent

the knife is in my hand
glancing at my wrist
i cant do it
but i have too
so goodbye
cruel world
i must go

but whats this?
a light?
i am still in fear
the knife trembling
blood- no
tears
dripping off the blade

and i collapse
and die inside
because nobody cares
but i cant force myself to leave
just like those toxic friends
relationships
people
thats just what life is

but you have to keep going
going and going and going
until you find a true purpose
because harming
or killing
yourself
just stops you from recognizing the problem
just avoiding it

so to anyone who wants-
who needs
to hurt, or **** themselves
just face the problem head on
even if you cant do it
even if you have tried before
it's still worth it

shiny money
shiny brain
you get some
you lose some
its all just coins

money
is a funny thing
because when you have it
you love it
and then it's just a figment of your brain
its all just coins

but when you dont have it
you yearn for it
you want it
you need it
its all just coins

so i sit
with no money
i dont need any money- coins
but i cry
and cry
because i have no coins at all

just a dollar
and you can play
deposit a coin
and be on your way

i'm not lazy
i play sports
i do things
i promise you
i'm not lazy

i'm not stupid
i have good grades
i study my subjects
i promise you
i'm not stupid

i'm not a freak
i don't know why
but i promise you
i'm not a freak

i'm not insane
i'm not insane
i promise you
i'm not insane

the british
conquered
took it all
but then were beaten
and no rule at all

they became independent
as all people should
but they had fallen
behind the rest

and so the leader
of them all
declared his plan
for a reform
of the country
the beautiful country

afghanistan

dont drop the vial
just drop the vile

pull out a chair
sit down my friend
pour a pint of whiskey
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

how about a game?
just a couple dollars
pour a shot of *****
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

home? why home?
stay here with us
we are your real friends
pour a glass of wine
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

no more? how about one
just one more glass
just one more shot
just one more pint
just pour a flute of champagne
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

I thought you cared
About the gifts
I so lovingly crafted and bought
Only for them to be thrown out
Trashed

I thought you cared
About the compliments
As I gave you them
Never stopping the flow
No matter what you did

I thought you cared
About the weekends
We spent
Hand in hand
Before the morning sun

I thought you cared
About me
But it was all fake
All those days
All those words
All those gifts
Were they a joke to you?
I guess ill never know

this is a cry for help
i cannot control my fear
i cannot control the sickness
that loves me so dear
^$*{{}|)&##&{:>?"$
this is a cry for friends
people that care
people that really care
they are my dividends
they keep me sane
$&_+|{}:"?<!!#%&^%$(:
this is a cry for someone
someone that feels like me
someone that feels me
someone that likes me
"@^&_+}{":>~!#$~~~$%^&
this is a cry for love
i need you
ill treat you like a dove
you can take the sadness out of me
and ill be back again
^&#:"}||}:"><?^%$^#%$%^&<>~~#$%^&^%&$%

he betrayed them
and declared himself king
king of the nation
king of them all
all they hoped
is to not fall

he tried to take
and make the country modern
but nobody agreed
he tried to limit the power
of the national council
but nobody agreed

and they took up arms
so they could fight back
but then he fled
a coward

afghanistan

in the shadowed corners of my heart
where echoes of laughter have long departed
there lies a sorrow
deep and vast
ocean of tears
memories of the past

today
my mother
asked me to try on a shirt
and i said sure
so she said
"take your shirt off"
and i stopped
"will you leave?"
i asked politely, hoping she wouldn't suspect
she bobbed her head
side to side
the universal sign
NO

she saw the red scars on my stomach
the scratches i cut
deep
but not in my skin
she made them deeper
she pretended like they weren't there
but they were
blood red scars
killing me slowly

and i'm shaking
shaking because i dont want to be a ******
i swear mom
i'm not
just help me
please

elixir in a bottle
so that i can remodel
all the holes in my brain
elixir in a needle
so that i may wheedle
my brain
into working
again

osama bin laden
it is the beginning
of the end
al-Qaida  
they killed
the men
the women
the children
and we watched
and let them be

they claimed victory
against the soviets
it was their first win
but sadly
it wasn't their last

so they fought
and fought
and killed
and islam ruled again
but in a different way

afghanistan

my favorite hoodie
the biggest one
hide my body
and the pain all gone

!! DISCLAIMER !!
I am not trying to be sexist, homophobic, or racist through this poem. This poem might come off as offensive, or something else, but it is not intended to be this way. I am just sharing my feelings through poetry, and even I was scared to post my own true feelings through poetry. If this poem needs to be taken down, I will do so. If that happens, I will probably post my poetry elsewhere or keep it to myself. Thanks!
!! DISCLAIMER !!

This world we live in
Is confusing to say the least
Why have we changed so much?
Why don’t we stay the same?

Sometime last week
I was shouted at
By a girl
Saying I would never understand her pain
Saying that I
A straight white male
Was so fortunate
And I was offended
But in some ways
It is true

I understand
That my kin
Did unspeakable
Disgusting
Horrible
Things to you
And I know that some of them still happen today
But why is it my fault?
What did I do to you?

You say I have privilege
But what privilege do I have
When must I creep on every word I say?
Every action I take?
Every poem I write?

But before I go on
I want to give sorry
A sorry that my ancestors never could
Even if It doesn’t mean a lot
I still hope it helps

I feel like a circus
I have to entertain the crowd
One wrong move
And I get boos
Too showy off?
And I get boos
So I learn to keep up my guard
Never let my feelings out
Never let my true thoughts go

And to the girl last week
Who shouted at me
Just remember
If the world is against you
It is most definitely
Against me

fly away
fly away with me
don't need the crazy men
i can just me be
with those wings
those butterfly wings

the crazy men
they came again
but this night
it was different
the crazy men
they came again
but tonight
i wasn't free

four hijackers
four planes
four men
four craves for violence
to **** us all
all they wanted from us
was death
and violence

two twins
two twin towers
two twin brothers
two twin planes
horrible
horrible day

one man
one fight
one takeover
one crash
he was a hero
he saved them all
but he died
same as the rest

afghanistan