i bypassed everything and went straight for the neck
not out of cruelty
but because I was tired of pretending
I didn’t want the truth raw
unfiltered
still pulsing
I didn’t want the small talk
the polite detours
the scenic route through your curated grief
I wanted the place where your voice breaks
where the mask slips
where the ache lives without apology
I bypassed the stories you rehearsed
the ones with clean endings
the ones you tell at parties
to make your pain sound poetic
I wanted the version you don’t write down
the one that stutters
the one that bleeds
I bypassed the eyes
the hands
the heart
all the places people say love lives
I went for the neck
because it’s where the pulse hides
where the breath catches
where the body remembers
what the mind tries to forget
I didn’t mean to be violent
I intended to be honest
I meant to say
I see you
without the armor
without the script
without the smile you wear
when you lie
I bypassed everything
because I didn’t want the version of you
that survived
I wanted the version
that still doesn’t know how

How perfectly sweet it is to be so newly in love with you.
Eyes meeting over coffee bars, and seeing stars and blushing.
Your hand brushing mine so lightly, just so subtly slightly.
My nightly screams of
‘I LOVE YOU’ silently sent,
into the abyss to warm you,
And follow you home.
How sweetly perfect it is to see you fall so newly in love with me.

He said the word and out of dust 
The Galaxies were hurled
For whom the Nebulae unwound                   
 And the Universe unfurled!     
For Whom by the THUNDER IN HIS VOICE
 THE FIERY STARS UNCURLED!    

He made every kind of rock     
From Amethyst to Geode.                      
By the spittle in His mouth
The Mighty Oceans flowed.
 For Him the Arctic lands 
Turned white
When by His will it snowed!
For Him the Mountains of the sky
Shouldered up their load.                                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                          
Praise the High and Mighty Genius 
Who created all of these: 
Nebula, 
Amoebas
 Great Forests full of Trees!   
He blew out from His mighty breath,
The Hurricane and Breeze!                                                                    ­                                                  
He planned all the Planet's paths;  
 Equinoxes and ellipse!
Apogee and perigee,  
Occultings and eclipse! 
He caused the mighty floods
And great torrents full of mists!

 He spitted out the LIGHTNING BOLTS 
And the Clouds of Silver Rains!
What He says, 'GO'  
Is gone like that,
And what He saves, remains!                                                                                                               
He makes the Plains as Mountains High     
And the Mountains High as Plains.
He colors bright the Star-sets wild,
And the Nebulae He Stains!  

He made the All of Everything  
Throughout the Multiverse.
He causes brand new Stars to light 
While others run their course.  
He gives each Life its own Free Will
For better or for worse.    

He catches all the THUNDERING WINDS     
And the breeze’s tiny sigh. 
He made the tiny Field Mouse       
And the soaring Eagles high; 
He paints the colors of the
Winds against the ageless Sky!                                                                   ­                                                       He threw the Devil from his place
Among the Holy Stars.   
He molded out proud Venus       
And He crafted ancient Mars.   
 He praises all His Lives for Peace 
And punishes for wars.
He flung by multi-handfuls out,   
The rainbow colored Stars.  

Praise the One Who made the Worlds,     
The Moons and Nebulae  
And made the ancient world of Mars
With its bleeding glorious sky!
He made Earth and Jupiter                                                                  ­                     
And painted Saturn's rings!
He made the Thrush,
And Whip-Poor-Will,  
 And the Nightingale who sings.  

He made the gentle, snow white Dove 
The  Peacock's fiery Tail.
He made the Minds of Undersea;       
 The Dolphin 
 And the WHALE!     
                    
Like a Master Weaver 
Weaved He       
Evolution's  path,        
Coloring life with humor,
Love, elegance and wrath!

He made the Universe a place  
That danced and came alive,
With every kind of Creature,   
Using all ways to survive!

A ship that's lost at  sea ;I need some aid,
I get some care;ignored alone again.
I feel I walk a tightrope my nerves are frayed,
And folks that treat me this me -I condemn
My plea is hardly heard ;my wishes delayed
I keep my vessel afloat I explain
I sail my vessel to a better day
My future will be sunshine for sure I say

I think I'm afraid to be a mother.
Because what I they leave,
Like she did.
What if I die,
Like she did.
What if I leave them broken,
Like she did.

i want long hair and a baby.
i wear soft jumpers and let the rain fall on my face, sometimes.
i worry about being alone.
i laugh with my friends until my stomach aches.
i watch life fly by past my window.

being twenty-something means seeing yourself through fractured glass fragments of mirror:
i am 18, frail. young to the world.
i am 19, confident. unafraid.
i am 20, learning. becoming
21.

i keep each piece in a pocket of my mind,
a patchwork of a girl
with untied knots at each corner.

i often wonder how i am seen by others.
it frightens me to imagine only those thin shards of light that permeate from me
on a first glance.

but i have been 18, 19, 20,
and i have lived and cried and loved.
between my cracks and crevices emerges
a smile with wonky teeth, thick eyebrows, the birth mark on the nape of my neck.
footprints on my face of a girl who was, who is.

so i'll grow my hair.
i'll fall in love.
i'll carry a little heart in my tummy like a plum stone.

a kaleidascope perpetual
of ways i have been and ways that i am.
and i live to hope that
through kind eyes
and a soft voice
and a gentle heart
i will be seen for all that has made me,
and i will make someone as beautiful as all i have seen.