I'm sorry that I wasn't there
To hold you when you needed comfort
I just refused to believe that you could ever die
But now here I lie
Eye to eye
With the buddy I swore to stand by
Dead
On the ground
No longer alive
I held her paw tightly in my hand
Staring at her dull eyes
Not ready to confront the truth
That my best friend had died
I tell her I love her
As if she were still alive
And apologize for not being there
But all she gives me a blank stare
I pretend not to care
That she can no longer wag her tail
Or lick my cheek
To give me the comfort that I need and seek
Finally a tear begins to leak
And seeps into her fur
With which I used to sleep on
On those boring days
Which are now gone
Lost as hazy memories
Give them back to me!
I didn't realize how lucky I was
For every day I had with her
I curse myself for not taking the time to play with her
Or getting off the computer
To show her how much I really love her
With belly rubs and big bear hugs
I'm sorry that I wasn't there
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Please come back
So I can do the right thing
Pick up the slack
That selfishness brings
As I beg you for forgiveness
My mother comes around
And tells me that the time is now
To bury you deep in the ground
I squeeze your paw tighter
And tell you good-bye
Stand up from the ground
And watch you getting carried away
I can't bear the thought of watching you get buried
So I run upstairs and cry
Into my pillow
Wondering why I wasn't there
To hold your paw
While you were hurting
Lady, when you took your last breath
I hope you knew
Despite the fact I wasn't there
I did and always will
Love you
When my dog, Lady, was alive she had a lot of seizures. Sadly, there was nothing we could do but pray that everything would end well. One night she had at least three seizures, and it was very late at night. I wasn't sure if I should go to bed or stay with her, but in the end, I decided to go upstairs to sleep, thinking that she'd be fine in the morning. She wasn't. She had died from the seizures-- all alone. I never forgave myself for that, and so that's why I wrote this poem: to confess my sin and reveal my guilt.