From the moment I saw you
I knew you would be the death of me

...and I would let you be.

I stood there and I stared at him
I told him I loved him and it'd all be okay
But he knew I lied again.

2am and I'm barely getting home
He's waiting in the living room by his phone
Waiting for enough strength to tell me to leave
Instead, I open the door and he leaps to embrace me.

He knows what I'm doing
He looses his mind, I continue to submit
He's screaming and crying
He pushes me and I deserve it

There's not a thing that I can do
There's not a word I haven't said
I shatter him into pieces
Every night I come home from another's bed.

I thought of her often
She was a siren in the distance
Faint, annoying, pulling me aside, distracting me.
I thought of the way she loved me
A breathless love, a selfish love, more like a ritual.
I thought of her coldness,
The way she shut the world out.
She would look me in the eyes
But I saw nothing. I felt nothing.
I've never felt less from another's soul.

I think of her often,
But I don't like to.

We'd both seen this coming for awhile now
Yet we'd managed to neglect it somehow.

Through the looking glass of tears and stained tiles
Through the cracked and shattered fake smiles.

Through washed blood from opened scars
When I found you emptied out in hometown bars.

Passed blurried eyes and foggy car windows
Into alcohol filled veins and tear soaked pillows.

Instead of you embracing me I cradled you
Passing down dreamless hallways inable to get through.

The war hasn't begun it's been going on for ages
You've set up your defences but I'm not in those stages.

I don't want to fight I want you better
But this letter, I won't regret her.

Please tell me you understand my pain and sorrow
Please get better, I'll see you tomorrow.

I saw her
In the dark, in that alley way
Leaned against the wall
One foot resting behind her
One slightly in front
She smoked her cigarette and looked at me like I didn't know about pain
She hardly saw me
But I saw her every night
I passed her and she always waited
For the next guest, for the next moment.
She was like chalk
Pale and stale. Diminishing and entertaining
I noted her dark red lipstick.
Compared against her white skin and black hair it was the closest thing to life that I could relate her to
Her eyes always followed my footsteps past her
I watched her contemplate her choices as I faded down the street
But still every night I continued to see her.