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PN Parent Aug 2014
Humans are animals.
We believe we are the superior species,
But we are equal, equally animals
Both crave companionship.
Both need to procreate.
Even human specific characteristics
Are that of all animals.
Love is not related to only our species.
It resides in all living creatures
Even if we deny it scientifically.
And that is why it is beautiful.
It is not rare, like we want it to be.
It is not defining, like we hope it to be.
It is not individualistic; it is normal.
And that is why it is beautiful.
So often we believe that beauty comes from
The different, the exotic, the rare.
But it resides in  our most basic human make-up,
Our genetics.
And that is why it is beautiful - it is everywhere.
So why, as humans, do we crave to be unique
from other animals?
We are the same.
We are all beautiful.
We all love.
We are animals.
Embrace it.
PN Parent Sep 2014
Sometimes I wonder
If I have any pentinence
But how can I
When I can't even remember
I push my past away
And force myself to forget
Because I fear what I've done
And I fear all regrets
PN Parent Nov 2014
Pain comes in many forms
Whether it's physical
And you can't breathe
Or it's emotional
And you can't catch your breath

But the worst part is
We can't choose our pain
It chooses us
And it takes no consideration
For your life's path

And sometimes all you can do
Is let it slap you in the face

Because we are all just chess pieces
In this life
Waiting to be pushed into the direction
We wish not to move to
And wait to experience pain
From our opponent's next move
PN Parent Aug 2014
hand intertwined in mine
he whispered a secret
and it tickled my neck

I closed my eyes and giggled
as he led me down the hallway
reopening them, I saw Him
He stared at me and then at our hands, his hand

He walked right by us and never smiled
and in that moment I knew
He would never feel guilt for what He did
for the pain He had put me through
for using me

But that was the first time I realized it didn't matter
because His eyes were full of hurt
at the sight of me holding a different hand

maybe He hadn't only used me
maybe He had felt a slight bit of love for me
and it felt amazing to know It wasn't all a lie
that I hadn't wasted a year of my life
that there was some truth in our old disgusting relationship

We walked past and He never spoke
and that was alright
because I finally felt closure
and now I had the opposite of a lie - truth
and held my hand at that moment
never letting go
PN Parent Aug 2014
His fingers wrap tightly around his cup,
shaking, tingling, raising it to his lips often,
the white frothy coffee drink steaming
while his tongue ignores the intense heat.

She plays with straw and the cardboard cup,
letting the heat of the black coffee
ease the tension between her fingertips
and seep down to each of her toes.

She smiled at him, observing each detail
that she loved about his appearance.
He sincerely laughed at every word she said,
looking deeply into her ocean eyes at every chance.

His white drink remained in his cup
as he carefully took sips to relax his nervouseness,
but she slopped her dark grinds, spilling them
over the edge and permanently staining the white.

The cups, at first sight, seemed to describe their personalities.
And yet, at a deeper second look, described their demeanor.

On the outer appearance, he was put together and cautious,
with a plan for his entire future,
while she was messy and without a care for what's next,
oblivious to her own wreckage.

But on the insides, both were bitter-sweet coffees,
happy to finally see eachother after so long,
but nervous because of their unresolved last encounter.
He was pure, curious white. She was dark, mysterious black.
Totally opposite and yet perfectly compatible.

Neither admitted one missed the other,
yet they promised to meet every summer and winter forever.
PN Parent Dec 2014
For futures out there
You should do it
Just so you know what it's like
But you'll hate every second

But isn't  that the essence of memories
And the purpose of learning

Pain is what reminds us not to repeat certain actions

But without experiencing it
you only know from others
Which makes you want it all the more

Cycle
And we seek love
Closeness
Others who have similar experiences
and pains to share with
and hopefully forget
#psyche
PN Parent Aug 2014
we are so different
different beliefs
different hopes
different dreams

but somehow
someway

things feel right
like a key in a lock
like a vow in a prayer

like a fish on a dock
like a lie in a swear

that is until
our differences
become too different
Fat
PN Parent Aug 2014
Fat
I think I am too weird
for you and all your "friends"
laughing at me
           dancing on my own

I walk naked
while you follow society
clothed in the heat of bodies
as I fly through the sky

               soaring above my own
mind.                 I am different
You are not.
you are skinny
Congratulations
But I am fat
with experience
                with memories and passions and stories

and you are empty
PN Parent Aug 2014
It's truly sad to only see
that all my friends are enemies

I've lost my morals
all I have is an empty soul

my mind has fallen
down a rabbit hole
PN Parent Aug 2014
I convince myself
conforming my thoughts
changing my memories

lies

I tell others
relaying imagery
that has never been seen
by my own eyes

but I believe them to be true
the stories

insanity

my own lies
turn to fact in my mind
and i wonder
what is real anymore

confusion

my life is a lie
my mind is convoluted

but sometimes it is better that way
I believe I am something I am not, to hide from myself the memories of what I have done. But doesn't the past make me who I am today? And yet I have altered my past memories. I am my own lie.
PN Parent Aug 2014
I dream
        All I have left are memories
I imagine his arms around me
        Holding me tight
Like he used to

Telling me secrets and lies
         All to make me smile.

I ask him why he grips me
         Forgives me
Why he loves me at all

Even after I hurt him
          When I caused him pain

And he told me
           We are soul mates
                   Intertwined Forever
           Eventually we will be together
                    It is inevitable

And so I slept smiling

Until I awoke
              And he was gone.
PN Parent Aug 2014
I'm starting to forget His face
     His voice
            His skin
                   His touch
I try to rememebr
and yet He is slipping away

all I want is to call Him
to see Him
to grab hold of Him
to look into His eyes
to see how He has grown

but I can't
because He begged me not to

and I still love Him
so I respect His wishes
and disregard my needs

So I let His image
      His scent
             His love
slip away

until we meet again
one day
PN Parent Nov 2014
I don't know what id do without my mother
Without her wise advise
Without her loving arms
Without her sarcastic comments
Without her snide stares
Without her bold statements
Without her encouraging care

I don't know what I'd do without my mother
Because she's the only one who told us it was okay
That things would get better
Even after we were abused
And there was nothing she could do to fix it
But help us leave from that place
And help us cover up what had happened
Because no one should know what went on in that house
Because no one deserves to have those memories
And so we try to forget
And she holds us together
With her encouragement that we will get better
Even after our bruises have healed
To remind us that are scars are beautiful
And we are a new family
Thank you mom
I love you
And all that you've done
I don't know where'd we be without you
Never leave us
PN Parent Jan 2015
I don't want him
yet I want to gift him
Lavish him with things
Objects he doesn't want
The exact opposite of what he desires
Or so I hope to believe
From what I knew a year ago
And so it has changed
Most likely anyways
But I will take what I know
And I will give to him anyways
Everything that he doesn't want
Objects
Which is quite different from love
PN Parent Oct 2014
It's just one night of acceptance
Giving it all away for an hour
But things end too soon
With reassurance of reoccurrence
But it meant nothing in the end
And I was okay with that
Until the next day
When I thought of it endlessly
And I started my search
To discover the real him
After all he was so interesting
Falling faster and faster
Down the  pit of infatuation
Hoping to receive the call
That was once promised
Because he was good
At giving me what I wanted
Even if it was only for an hour
PN Parent Aug 2014
I run away by reading

books let me escape
so I can get lost in another plot
another parallel world
so I can actually see others
who have similar problems to my own
so I can remind myself
that other have it worse
so I can avoid my own thoughts
by reading others'

until eventually the parallel world
crosses too closely with my own

and I remember what I worked so hard to forget.

The world is round
no matter where you turn and run off to
you return to start
tired of the sprint
and hopeless of ever getting away.

And yet I pick up another book
and take off from the start
in hopes that by the last page
the finish line
I will have no recollection of my past.
PN Parent Aug 2014
My skin hurts
                        tingles at the touch
                         stands on end
My stomach aches
                         full of only air
                         screeching out of hunger
My body feels weak
                         tripping at each step
                         gasping for breath
But my emotions are even worse
And so my physical pain feels nice

And so that's all I pray for
feeling

Because for brief instant that is what I lacked

lifelessness

And it was worse than any physical pain

when he told me he could never love me again
PN Parent Sep 2014
Sometimes I remember
I think about what it was like
To be afraid
To mock him
But only to hide from myself
My own fear
And i look at them all
And I worry
What if they end up like him
What if I choose wrong
So I better not choose at all
Am I the one
Should I get help
I can't look past
The possibilities
And when I think back
To when I had hope
I remember
Cutting off the love
Because for a second
I saw a similarity
And I was afraid
Of returning to the past
PN Parent Sep 2014
I want to feel
Even if only for a second
I want to change
I want the new
To move away
From my old self
But I miss it all
So I want to change
But still experience the old
Which can never be
Because it's different here
And to receive love
You must put yourself
Out to be taken
And I do it anyway
Just to feel
PN Parent Jan 2015
Please stop
I do it so you'll notice
Your going to **** yourself
I want to die young
Please don't say that
Why
Because I care for you
Then why don't you even look at me
Because you'll never love me
I'll always love you
Then why aren't we together
Because we never can
I'm reckless and your secure
I'd only keep hurting you
I want the pain....
If it means I can look at you
PN Parent Nov 2014
Sometimes you lay in your bed
And all you can do is cry
          For yourself
                  For others
                         For humanity
Because what do we live for
Besides to convince ourselves
There is no oblivion

Death is eminent
And life is short
And mine will be cut loose
Sooner than most

So what do I have to lose
Besides believe in lies
       Those stories they tell us
              To give us hope
                      To keep us going

But I don't know how much longer I can go
So I just wait
For my time
Because it's coming soon
PN Parent Aug 2014
His arms wrap around Me
His body molds to Mine
and We become two spoons

Our minds mesh together
both thinking of the Other

His stare acts as My shield
forever protecting My heart
from breaking into two

I turn to give Him a smile
a sort of thank You
and to tell Him the three words
I never told Him enough

But He disappears
fading into My memory
and is forever gone

and for a second
I can't even remember His face
PN Parent Aug 2014
Maybe I will tell you
once my blood changes form
once my lungs have burned to dust
once I empty my mind

once I am no longer
                 myself

Then I will tell you
                  thank you
                             for stealing my innocence
PN Parent Aug 2014
the stars are yellow
the moon is yellow
the sun is yellow

my sheets are yellow
in it is my fellow
his eyes are mellow

he takes my hand
and I take his
and together
              we create lovely yellow

— The End —