I ponder
If you knew how much you meant;
I wonder
If you know how many tears I spent;

I know
It's a dumb thing, so feeble;
A stow,
Of feelings so much but none evil;

It's hard,
Trying to make sense of a love so brittle;
It's awkward,
We talked so much yet so little;

Wait, I forgot,
I'm the only one who knows it;
That's why it's all for naught,
Because you will never feel it;

Love,
Love that shouldn't be here;
Love,
Love that I fear;

Love,
Love that I just keep in store;
Love,
Love that could never be more.

If you see these words,
You'll just flow astray;
If you see my words,
*I know you'll go away.

An innocent born into darkness,
A life unknown to be so graceless.
A world without colour,
This life like no other.

Below the depths of this flesh,
A girl lives craving new breath.
Stolen was her beating heart,
Given to loneliness, consumed as a withered spark.

The biggest dreams swim in her mind,
The longest amount of time goes by.
A slave to abuse, a slave to misery.
Will she escape from the chains to find victory?

Fortitude is what she seeks,
Peace and love is what she needs.
A life ready to begin and restart,
Her life ready to fight her way through the dark.

A journey has started, her journey awaits.
An adventure she'll recall,
has her saving grace.

“Arise” she screams,
“Arise and be...”
“Arise and be all that you dreamed!”

All it takes
Is a random conversation
To make me feel like
Anyone cares

All it takes
Is "hey";
To make me know
You still care

All it took
Was a single happening
That made me feel
Broken

All it took
Was someone so close
Doing something so bad
Making me so wasted

All it took
Were deafening fights
And whispering threats
To make me silent

All it took
Was a single "are you okay"
To make me budge
About the way you saw me

All it takes
Is a single conversation

All it takes
Is for you to see how deformed I am
For me to push you away
I'm sorry

All it takes
Is for me to cry help
For you to finally know
But never come

All it takes
Is sharing the truth
Then just leaving me
To make me feel forgotten

All it takes
Is a random happening
To make me want
Something I cannot control

All it takes
Is a few pills
To make you dizzy
Into the sleep you've waited for

All it takes
Is a few slits;
Pain to make you feel
Alive and dead at the same time

All it takes
Is a jump on the seawall
Or a glug of bleach
To end your suffering

All it takes
Is fear to know
And fear to live
To die.

The girl you met at a party
And bonded with over how your father's are *******,
And which year you wanted to **** yourselves.

Who, you would laugh with
But never date
Not just because she's gay,
But because her anxiety is crazy,
Like yours.

You will talk about beer
And she will notice that boys with drunk families either love
Or hate the stuff

She will see you growing older
Becoming a drunk like your father
And watching your potential
Go down the drain

Because you tell her how you missed 80 days of school
And they can't technically expel you
Because you had a doctors note for your anxiety
She tells you how she didn't learn anything in 6th grade
Except which pills to take
To numb her brain

She will hold your hand while you run down a hill
Away from the other 'normal' kids,
For quiet.

She will grab your shoulder when you tell her you punched a brick wall till your fingers broke
And tell you "buddy, get some better coping mechanisms"

You'll talk about beer again
And she'll talk about how flowers make her angry

You'll play truth or dare
With normal kids
And you will get defensive of her

Why did you get defensive of me
So quickly

Is it because I was vulnerable with you?

Is it because I hugged you when you left and told you

If your father ever hits you again

Call the ******* cops.

Is it because you see you in me?

Is it because I am the healthy now you strive to be

If she could keep you alive a little longer
She would show you all the songs she wrote for you

"I wish I knew you in 8th grade
Because I would've never let you near that belt in the first place"

You say you're happy you didn't **** yourself, because now you have her.

She talks to you everyday
And her dark comedy flies through
Stupid movie quotes

With her
You talk about the future
Like something you look forward to,
Not like a fairy tale your mother told you,
Before you knew what scars looked like,
Before you knew the color of your blood.