Been too tired fighting alone

Too much weight upon my shoulders

Crying for help
Yet no one listens

Pleading for salvation
Yet gave in to the ******

Exhausted of pretending

Everything; nothing's fine

Too scared to tell the truth

Too hurt from keeping it

Wonder how much my smile covered up

Now too fed up with everything

Not that I want to play the victim

I'm just too tired to stand alone.

Too many things left unsaid,
Too many lies spewed out.

Nothing follows me but agony;

It's so unfair

Why is it that I'm the only one that you dump your anger in?

Stop fighting because of me.

If it wasn't for my ******* mouth.
If it wasn't for my ******* body.
If it wasn't for me

None of this could've happened.

I'm scared. I'm furious. I'm tired.

*I'm sorry

She was full of love.
Filled with happiness,
Filled with commitment
And determination.
She needed his attention
And attraction.

He was empty.
He had no knowledge of love.
He didn't believe in intimacy,
All he knew was to take
What he needs and leave.


She strived to be his savior,
Tried to changed him to a believer.
She loved him more than she loved herself.
She gave away all her energy to remove his pain,
Again and again.
But he would take no notice of it.

He gave up on love,
He was cozy with the chaos.
she was full of love.
She didn't give up.
She searched for hidden feeling,
And found none.

She tried to fix him
But he was unfixable.
She tried to save him
But she broke herself.

you'll never know how it feels
to be a potato being fried
being mixed with salt or cheese powder
as people eat and digest you in their stomach

you'll never know how it feels
to be a teddy bear being hugged
or punched at because of its softness
since it has no life so you just kept doing it

you'll never know how it feels
to be the fat kid in your class
because you were popular
and everyone admired the pretty ones

you'll never know how it feels
to be gay as people tear you apart
because you're a disgrace
and the bible told you you're invalid

you'll never know how it feels
to be black because your skin is clear
and they never tried to **** you
because of your race and skin color

you'll never know how it feels
to be vincent van gogh as he tried
to poison himself by eating yellow paint
and drinking turpentine

you'll never know how it feels
to be a **** victim
whether you're a man or a woman
because you kept thrusting and it hurt

you'll never know how it feels
to be in heaven or hell
because you're dead
and you're starting somewhere ahead

‪your eyes remind me‬
of a toy i used to play
i don't miss it
but i remember it

deep by the blue ocean
covered with the sand
sitting with the rest
of the lost treasures

it seems as if yesterday
was the golden hour
of my time on earth
for you were there

as i try to memorize
the maps on your back
the concave of your mouth
the painting of your body

l‪eave me with the statue‬
‪the resemblance of you‬
‪for my heart feels safer‬
‪when i'm with you‬

‪the head might be mad‬
‪with your hand i must‬
‪fill the different cracks‬
‪with your everlasting love‬

-j.a.t.f (08.13.17)