i am ******.
and that is my poem.

looking in the mirror
waiting for bruises to appear
asking myself
"How did I get here?"

never been the one
to afflict pain upon myself.

but I have caused to much harm
I am no longer a help
I too, may as well hurt.

Golden eyes
you disguised pain so beautifully
you hid my love notes in your shoes
you thought you loved the girl I used to be
I thought I knew what love was made of
pressed against your car
you smelled just like the ocean
I felt kept inside your arms
I had no knowledge of commitment
I was only seventeen
wanting a body made of heaven
born decades before me
we smoked cigarettes and danced
for hours in the rain
you were as gentle as the wind
I didn't mean to cause you pain
confusion is a cloud that visits
every n o w and t h e n
when I think of nights spent on the phone
and days worshiping your skin
whether or not you think of me
is fine and either way
you were a message wrote in cursive
that I r e p e a t everyday

you were an earthquake
shaking everything around me
where feet once planted firmly
you'll find me lying on the ground
I'm not here to reassure you
I don't owe a single sound
I bled when you would touch me
my insides bled with you around
Always worried I would face you
but see love, it makes me weak
and **** I knew I loved you
but you burned it out of me
I make moves
and some decisions
based upon your hands
hands i use to trust
turned into strands of broken muscles
and you took more than I had
I was entirely for giving
what you stole from me was light
cause light exposed my broken skin
and every time I think about you
my nails t u r n i n t o bullets
that I press against my temples
ready to blow through thoughts of you
like a virus in my blood
you infected all my feelings
you tore a child out of me
& until death will I forgive you

Skinny girl, Skinny girl
Do you ever eat?
You're nothing but
An attention-seeking freak

Fat girl, Fat girl
Are you full?
There's a few crumbs on your chin,
Don't miss it all.

Crazy girl, Crazy girl
You are insane.
Go back to where you belong,
Perhaps an insane asylum.

Hideous girl, Hideous girl
Look at your nose,
It makes you look like
Pinocchio.

Dead girl, Dead girl
She didn't look sad.
Congratulations society,
She had enough.

At dooms door,
tears galore.
Not tears of sadness,
but tears of fear,
fear of what lies behind the door.
Furthermore, my soul is sore,
sore from war,
war with myself.
Oh but why?
i need not know,
all i need know is that lies lie within a lie,
it was all a lie.
Truly.

I let you inside
every time
and the times that I don't
is because you're no where to be found
you make me laugh and make me want
to taste the sound of your voice
I laugh, you catch my hand
and let me taste all of your noise
you are an angel
such beauty in his brand
I know i'm not good at you yet
but then again maybe I am
and your lips are so unreal to me
your skin is like dessert
you tempt my need to be an astronaut
when you release me from this earth
I forget all of my patterns
my boxes open up
you're a breath of mountain air
you're like water in my cup
and our lips can out-dance
anyone
i've known this to be true
and you'll always be a dream of mine
til' I can have what's left of you

The snow leopard and the little fox were sound asleep. The leopard curled up around the young fox keeping them both warm in the cold weather. As the sun started to arise the leopard awoke from his slumber. He then softly pat his little young fox apprentice's head, "Wake up little one. A new day awaits us," he said with a smile as he stood on all fours and stretched out his back. The little fox grunted and yawned "It's too early," she whined as she curled up tighter, "The sun isn't even fully up in the sky yet" was her rebuttal to his awakening. The leopard took her by the scruff and softly tossed her into the snow covered field. "Ahhh!~Ooof." The little fox yelled as she tumbled into the snow. "You know what they say, the early bird catches the worm, the early cat catches the bird." The leopard laughed slightly as he spoke, watching the little fox stand up all covered in fresh snow from last nights fall. "Well what's that have to do with me?!?" the fox shouted slightly, being slightly agitated about him tossing her. The leopard smirked as he walked by her and pat her head again, dusting off the snow, "It has everything to do with you, it has everything to do with everyone. It means the sooner you wake the more you can do. The more time you have in the day to do what you want," the leopard exclaimed with pride and excitement in his voice, "Do you ever ask yourself why there is so much left you want to do by the end of the day but just didn't have enough time? Well this helps you get more done. It gives you more time." The little fox tilted her head slightly to he side and looked down a bit, "I guess you are right," she said softly. Not knowing what else to say, she stood up and shook the snow off of herself then rush over to the leopard. "So what lesson will I learn today?" she asked eagerly. The leopard smiled as they started walking, "Didn't you just learn something?" he said as he raised an eyebrow. The little fox giggled softly and started pouncing around him laughing happily and saying "Well yea. But I want to learn more." The leopard laughed and looked to her, "Slow and steady wins the race little one. Slow and steady. we will find something for me to teach you, or for us to learn, as time goes on." he said softly but wisely as they kept walking into the woods, away from the sunrise.