Say words worth quoting
Live a life worth reading
Die a death worth seeing
As poets we deserve it
we are worth it.

Banging on the door. As twenty minutes before
There was hard tumbling on the floor.
Loud noise coming out my mothers vocal cords.
Her voice like mine when I hungered for her breast I use to suckle.
I was just a toddler
I didn't know any better.
Those men with the the blue shirts came again
The super let them in again
Since papa didn't open
But this time Papa didn't stay.
Those linked cheerios round his wrist as he gave me what would be my last kiss.
Mama wiped it of as if he just passed down sin
I saw this happen time and time again.
I guess you were fed up with his ****
But I was just a toddler I wouldn't understand why
The neighbors know our names.

she lies on the bed facing me
the curve of her hips
giving shape to the
blankets

her bare shoulder and arm are
bent at a gentle angle
as she lightly runs her
fingers
through my hair
her tattoos a vibrant
splash
of color on her alabaster skin

half lidded eyes take me in
and she sighs, a Mona Lisa
smile
on her lips

A million thoughts run through my
mind, my manic mind,
while she caresses me in complacent
bliss

How did I end up here
with this woman
with her perfect peace contrasting my
inferior and harmful
psychosis -
my constant battle with myself
and the universe

How can she love me
a man
who screams in defiance
at the tempest
while she spreads her
arms wide
and turns her face into the
rain and glories in it

My thoughts swirl
and clash
with the outward serenity
of the bedroom

And this is normal for me

The surprise comes when,
in a single moment
of clarity,
in between one manic thought
and the next,
I sigh with her
release the knot in my chest -
say “**** it” and
kiss her eyelids

I join her in this
perfect
moment of contentment

even as she wonders at my
sudden exclamation

I wish it were Autumn
the blistering rays of the summer sun
weigh me down just as heavily as winter's snow
the opportunity of summer suffocates me
similarly to the winter's sudden shadows

I bloom like a lily in April but shrivel like a garden unattended in June
I am the cool mist in the air in October that you miss as you sweat in the heat in July

you'll call me babe when we're together
and when we're not you won't call at all

I'll let you in and you'll show yourself out
step onto the mat, leave your mark then
leave for good

it's the invitation that's too easy
it's the only caring in the moment
it's the lack of resistance
it's the welcome without the stay
it's the goodbye without saying

you'll call me beautiful and then you'll never call me again
you'll go on your way and I'll watch you as you do

treating your arms like a rental, you can take my body for motel
it's just right now, nothing permanent
one night or
maybe a second
pack your things, don't turn around
I swear I'll be fine
clean the room, mop the floor for evidence and
we wont look back after the first time

this beginning will become end
we'll try to make us last
speaking of
soon and
later
but I don't hold my breath-
I need that to survive this
I don't wait
not for you to call
not for you to come again