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Last night I woke in a cold sweat.
Heart slamming against chest,
facing sharp, hard regret.
In my dreams I was in bed with you,
in a great white house.
Just across the hall, was the King of the Jews.
A petrifying dream. I had a ******* while Jesus ate the last supper across the hall. I was filled with lust while he begged me to walk with him.
Admittance is scary…*
I don’t understand myself sometimes
I want to love you,
be here for you,
but I don’t know how to say it outloud.
Maybe I’m scared,
maybe I’ll fail you,
maybe let you down,
and I don’t want to be bound to promises
only to break them like so many have done to me.
I do love you very much,
I do want to make you happy
I want to be your life,
your hope,
your light,
but don’t forget that
I am not perfect,
that I also have darkness within me,
that nothing ever goes as it’s planned.
Irony…Karma….LOVE…
All *******, they bite hard and don’t give a **** afterwards.
Let’s not make mistakes.
Let’s just enjoy what we have now and not focus on the future.
Franklyn D. Roosevelt once said….
“Men are not prisoners of their fate, but only of their own mind.”*
I know it means I shouldn’t be afraid too
but I want to use the meaning
of keeping the here and now.
All these lemons
But my lemonade stil tastes like ****
Sowz
As I wake In the depressive morning array, I wish I never pushed you away. It's my fault. I take the blame, but I wish I could go back and start again.
 Jan 2015 Five Fingers
WickedHope
...save everyone," they said.

                                                                    They were right,
                                                                          I died trying.
I never heard her say "I love you"
But I did hear her say
"Wake up. Breakfast is ready."
"Here's some extra money."
"Make sure you bring an umbrella today."
"Buckle your seat belt."
"Did you do your homework?"
"I saved a seat for you."
"Be home by ten."
"Are you okay?"

Truthfully
I can say that
I feel love
Not because I hear it
But because I see it.
"I love you" is just a sentence unless you act on it. Show it, don't say it.
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