Imagine seeing someone you thought cared
And on Halloween knocking on their door
And saying trick or treat
Then watching them smile
Then say, "close your eyes"
You trust them
And close your eyes

But when you open them
There is no one there
Only a note that says
Trick
I never truly cared

Imagine that hopelessness
Imagine that feeling of despair

Now multiply that feeling by 1000
And you'll be close to how I feel
*Every **** day

I feel like I'm drowning
But I can see others breathing

And somehow
That's my fault

It's like if I could just learn to be normal
Everything would be okay

And back to the drowning thing;
It's like I'm just inches from the surface
But I don't have the energy to reach it

But I also feel like I'm burning
And freezing
All at once

I know that makes no sense,
But it's like being so cold,
Your insides are on fire

I feel like I'll never be enough
Like everything is pointless
And I have no energy
But I can't sleep at night

Like,
I haven't been posting
On this site
Because I couldn't find the strength
But now I'm posting
In a last attempt to hold on

And it feels like being sick
Like, you know you're going to die
And you know it will be soon
You just don't know when

And it's pointless
I'm pointless
Life is pointless
Everthing is pointless

And I don't know what to do

I'm dying,
Please,
Someone help me...

This is how I feel
I don't know what it is
But this is how I feel

(I'm so sorry)

If I said
"I want to **** myself"
You'd probably laugh
Walk away
And label me as overdramatic

But if I actually killed myself
You'd probably cry
And pretend to be sad
And say
"I wish I could've done something to help"
You'd say
"If only she'd let me in"

Well, I tried
Did you not hear my cry for help?
Yet you still ignored me
And you wonder why I want to leave?

I was always warned
About the monsters below the bed
But no one ever told me
About the demons in my head

I used to always run
From the creatures in the night
But the true evils I can't run from
For it's my mind I have to fight

I thought the monsters were real
And they scared me, so I'd hide
But now I know, the evils I can't see
Are a much much bigger deal

I can't decide which is worse

Nightmares
Where they're so real
And terrible
That you wake up sobbing
In the middle of the night

Or

Dreams
Where they're so real
And wonderful
That when you wake up
And realize none of it was real
You feel the temporary joy
Drain out of you
And cry hopeless tears

all we do is wait.
wait for the world to change.
wait for the world to end.
well i never was very patient.