I sit in this half darkened room listening to the clocks tick and tock. Where would I like to be? Away from here, honestly. Time is but an essence and I'm sorry. It probably felt like this room. Where your darkest thoughts crept silently in the shadows and all you could hear was that clock that ticked words of remark, down to the color of your skin. The words that weren't even mine but they still shut you in. And they shut me out at the worst time of all. But time is an essence, master of all. If never fails to watch me fall. We watch the clock from opposite sides of the door and listen to the quiet that we've both succumbed to. A door I wish I could easily step through. But I'll lay here in wait and sleep now and then, till it decides to open again. Until then, I'll listen and talk to the ghost of the girl who lit the world on fire and wishes she was anywhere but here.

We had a giant ship where we'd go for short boat rides. We'd throw out the anchor that kept time in the middle of the ocean and see the moon up ahead. Sometimes we made love and other times we enjoyed each other's company. And sometimes both. There was laughing and crying because knowing the ride was short, it made it all the more worth it. I always had to leave, I was always the first one and it crushed me. I didn't know what it did to you though. And now you were the first to leave this time. I know what it feels like. I wish I could stray away on that boat and float through the entire ocean just to find you because I hope you come back. I want to throw away the anchor to get rid of time. I want to know what it's like to fly because there's a hole in this boat that's slowly sinking and I don't know how to swim. The crack in the boat so far is only a crack. Where you could only hear a slow drip and sometimes it flows faster than others. That's when I get scared but I only have to breathe. You said you'd come back so I'm going to find tape or maybe some putty to fix the cracks. I'll clumsily fix the boat and throw the anchor away. An infinate amount of ocean surrounds me but there's only one anchor. I'll leave it right where we were so you know where to find me. But if I'm not back by the time you find it again, wait for me there so you can see me with wings.

like sand I watch you slip through my fingers again, and again, and again. ill pick you up once more, a little tighter this time, but my fight never seems to be quite strong enough for you. // I'd love you if you would please just let me.