summer solstice
tea drinking
my mind is budding with all this thinking
of the future, of the past
but the present is all i have
i sink into the beauty like a swimming pool
i escape into the forest and find the moon

4am tears, undergrad took 5 years
you left in exam season, the feast of my fears
i graduate in 2 weeks, crazy timing
you were mine once upon a winters timing
the blue flowers bloomed like Novalis
i am troubled and dramatic
where art thou romeo
where art thou pair
where art thou romeo
where art thou chèr

Dear T,

If I can be honest,
Im lost without you,
Or maybe I'm just lost.
I was someone else
When we first started dating
And you were someone else too.
I loved changing alongside you.

If I can be honest,
It scared me at the end.
I didn't feel like myself
And I wasn't sure who I was,
Now I'm different, yet the same.
In college, its normal, to become something new
I loved creating something new with you

And if I can be honest,
I miss you with all my heart
It makes my chest swell with regret,
And my mind swirl in disappointment.
I want to be proud of who I am,
Of the things I do.
I loved being proud of you.

I don't know if I can be honest.
I lie to myself.
I try to be good and I try to be me,
But those **** philosophers
Make me believe,
I don't know what good is and I don't know who I am,
But honestly, if we're talking of honesty
Then truly I know only one truth.
Honestly, truthfully, T,

I love you.

Always,
C

i linger in the tub
long after the heat has left
i wait until it chills my bones
shivers down my spine
i linger in the tub tonight
bubbles sparsely sit on the surface
my pain is slowly unearthing
an iceberg, deeper than expected
an iceberg, how much i’ve been neglected
an iceberg, dive into my tempest
an iceberg, the weight of deflection