streams of speech rolling out of me
filling up my room with feeling
swimming in our own dealings
was it equal?
was it real?
storms of chaos were brewing
filling up all my perception
neglected my honed senses
was it fair?
was it canon?
stranded in my shame
swimming to a shallow grave
why must i hide?
why must i hide?

your true colours remind me of my old bruises
the hues, the truth stuck in my throat
the feeling of being useless
your truth cannot rectify the divide inside
the echoing of inner child cries
the pain is stuck inside
choking on my insecurities
you were supposed to be my security
the foundation is weak
too scared to speak
choking on my impurity
will you still stay through the grey?
when i rain, will you hide away?
strive today for a idyllic place
to lay my head, to plan, protect
to understand your hands
as soft not violent
as truth not sufficing
why is my heart so divided?
can we make amends?

i hope my hope doesn’t break me in half
tried to fit within the margins
tried to damage my confidence
tried for the last
i hope my hope doesn’t keep me stagnant
accepting of every ***** hand
accepting the present as best as it gets
accepting for the last
i hope my hope doesn’t make me lose track
keeping score of my blackest past
keeping mindless men in my grasp
keeping for the last
i hope my hope doesn’t