My heart being pressed,
my soul being crushed,
I am unable to breathe,
I am unable to stand,
what's happening to me!!!

Am I getting lost
or simply out of my mind?
what's rising within me?
a whirlwind of thoughts
or a whirlpool to drown me!!!

everything seems blue,
and i have no clue.
Can someone help me?
Can someone sort it out?
how to get these things out!!!

Fear, please don't embrace me.
Please don't come chasing after me.
Please don't.

Fear, please don't stop me.
Please don't make me to be afraid to even worship God...

Worthlessness, please don't replace my mirror.
Please don't take away my identity, the truth I hold onto.

Uselessness, please don't come and be my secretary.
Please don't be my frequent notifications on my phone, on my heart.

Unloving, please don't come and replace my heart.
Please don't keep captives my thoughts, my words, my actions.

No. I am not asking.
I am telling you.
To leave.

Stars streaked past.
Stars shining at an all time high.
Brighter than the lights in our eyes it shines.
We kissed, we danced.
Our fingers intertwined as the world around us collapsed.
Dancing and singing our favourite songs among tree tops, we danced towards the light.
Although afraid of heights.
We soared.
High above the failures and the depths of the sea.
High up in the sky in symphony.
My forehead touched yours.
And yours touched mine.
The winds of our hearts carried us as we danced away...the world becoming the room where we danced in before.
Where we met.
The stars becoming the light bulbs hanging in the dusty old room.
The space around us folded us in like an origami.
Things didn't make sense.
I wish I never find it.
I don't want to get lost in your gaze.
Lest I fall into the hole of your pupils,
lest I collapse when you leave.
Lest I tried to erase you from my memory.
Lest I lose you and I can't survive...
Let's...stay as friends...

I see the sun falling down.
It reminds me of you now.
Of me and you.

Always far apart.
Trying to find your heart.
We chase each other, endlessly.
Still, you are always out of reach.

I see you.
I know you see me.
And yet our fingers don't intertwine.
Yet my hands aren't around you till we die...

Oh how beautiful are those times!
When you were in front of me.
The distance between us dwindled.
The time when you were in front of me.
When you were away from that Earth of yours.

But soon after, you leave again.
Pulled by the centre of gravity again.
We had time to spare.
But it seems that fate didn't care.

Still today we run and run.
Chasing each other's heart.
I await for a day...where I can finally meet you at the same side of the Earth.
Where finally we could see face to face.
Where we can be together forever,
to never leave again...

So.
Love on a piece of crumpled paper, sitting on the couch.
Bare and Obvious.


Dirt on faces and calves.
Dust on clothes made of rags, rage, sorrow, disease and fear.
We refused to give this paper away.
Afraid we would get *****.
afraid we would get humiliated because no one else would give it.

.This paper, still crumpled in our hands.
We refuse to give it to those who didn't deserve it.
we refuse to give it to those who need it.
we all need it.

So this love sits on the couch of our hands.
waiting.
obvious.
waiting to dip it's way into hearts...

touchy subjects.
hidden mistakes.
crashing thunder.
My heart, the rain.
Plundering down into the mess.
Trying to find hope in the dark.
Crying in a dark place.
trying to fix my mistakes.
fixing mistakes by not trying at all is not the way.
i tried.
but i made it worst.
No day is my day.
it really isn't
i say this not because i am broken or sad.
because isn't it true?
everyday belongs to the one who made it.
HIM.
He gave me another chance to live...
He gave me another day to breathe!
He sees potential in me that he would be willing to give me one more day to live.
When we die it's not that God didn't see the potential in us.
He gave all of us ample time.
Ample time to think.
Ample time to reflect.
Ample time to Love.
Amble time to Hope.
Ample time to help others, serve others.

The thing is.
I need happiness.
A true one.
"the one which would last."
I would ask.
I would want.
the one that would stick.
but surely.
through the storms i have been through.
i can rightfully and truthfully tell you,
that he gives true joy.
One that sticks for eternity.
One that is eternal, that will be.
One that is just so good.
so sweet.
so bliss.
so free...
i want that joy.
and you and i would never find it anywhere in any store.
True Joy.
True peace.
Is found in HIM.
The source.
The ONE.
He is the one I want.
The thing is...I already have him.
Serving him.
Has never been in second place in my "blessings" list.
It is so beautiful.
All of him that I have, would never be in second place of the list.

I want you.