i'm not religious,
not even in the slightest way,
but when i look into your eyes
i see heaven.
and the streets are
paved with gold,
just as the flecks around your iris
in the light.
i taste redemption on your tongue.
i drink it up.
if there is no heaven,
there's no hell.
but i have been there and back,
for this, i am sure of.
the heat rose from the tip of my toes
to the scalp of my head.
i have seen demons.
i have seen the dark.
no light. no salvation.
but i'd pray,
if i prayed,
for a second chance with heaven.
sew on the pair of angel wings
back into my shoulders.
open the gates.
i have been on my knees for you
and don't think i won't do it again.

Why did you do it?

You must have felt the hot drips of wax on your back,
known that your flight would soon be over.
So why did you stay up so high?

Did you know you'd become a warning?
A moral?
Was the height so exhilarating you forgot yourself?
Caught up in youthful idiocy like they say?

Or was it the first time you truly felt Apollo's rays?
Felt the light shining on your wings?
Did you fall in love with the sun?
And the sweet burn of melting wax and falling feathers?
I know I did.

Did you know it would soon be over?
Did you still climb higher?
Try to get a little bit closer?
Even as it burned?

Daedalus was just jealous you could fly higher than he ever dared to.
Jealous of your youth. Your freedom.
Cause you loved ever minute of it.

Icarus, did you know you were going to fall?
Decided it was worth it?
Your precious moments of freedom worth every terrified moment of descent
Because those breathes in the sun were the most beautiful ones you'd ever take.
Kids like us know: the best high is the one followed by the fall.

Icarus, they wanted you to be a lesson,
But I never saw you as anything but an inspiration

If you said you were cold
I would wrap my arms around you

If you said you were thirsty
I would give you the ocean blue

I would give you anything,
The moon, the stars, the sunset too.

This heart in my hands I hold out to you

I swallowed you and
though about swallowing the gun

I licked the taste of you off my lips and
thought about licking off the rest of the chemicals

You're hands wrapped around my throat and
I wished they were a rope

I left scratches on your back and
thought about scratching my veins open

We kissed in the pool and
I imagined sinking to the bottom

Loving you was just a distraction from hating myself

Why do they call it spiraling?


As if my fall was anything other than brutal and ******.