All I can feel is sorry.

It feels every space where there should be other emotions.
Or comes linked with them.

I'm mad, sorry
I love you, sorry
I'm sorry, sorry

I'm sorry for the things I've done,
things I haven't done,
but mostly what I will do in the future.

I know I'm going to hurt you
so every time I talk to you all I can feel is guilt.
Every time you smile I am reminded of how soon that will be gone and it will be my fault.

So when I apologize for every little thing
it's not really because I'm that sorry for stealing your fries,
it's to apologize for the future when I won't be able to.

We learned about the three types of love in class today,
and all I could think about was you.

My teacher said eros was ****** desire
and all I could think about was the taste of your lips and how they felt on my skin.
But Plato defined eros as the love of beauty in a person
and my thoughts turned to how the sunlight loves to play on your face.

Philia is the love between friends, my teacher said
and I thought back to snow fights and shared laughter.
Aristotle said philia comes from the best people,
It makes sense that everyone loves you.

The selfless love: agape
The perfect mix of the other two:
a passion and a fondness,
spontaneous and comfortable.
Agape is often described as the love between God and humans.

And gods did I worship you
and gods I didn't deserve you
but gods I think for a moment you loved me too

What is the meaning of life?
Is it to be remembered?
To have people tell stories of you after you are gone?
Is it to change the world?
To make an impact in the blink of existence allotted to us?
To create something that will last?
Last until everybody you knew or who knew you is dead?

Humans are obsessed with finding a meaning.
A goal.
To matter.
We are born onto an assembly line that is
go, go, go, go, go
and then it ends.
What is left?

We never take time to think about how beautiful it is just to exist.
How, for this moment to be happening, the universe had to be created.
And through an incomprehensible sequence of events you ended up here.
In this moment.
This is a miracle.
There is no need to force yourself to matter, you already do.
You are the product of billions and billions of years of work.
Cherish it.

For the words flow so much easier when you aren't trying to force them,
when you simply sit and watch the sunset and listen to the birds.

What is the meaning of life but to exist?

One day I will return to the dust of the Universe.
But first?

*Let me shine.

We broke silently at night.

        

                         As not to inconvenience anyone