Hey it’s been a while

Yeah i know

How’ve you been

Im alright.
Actually I’m not

Whats wrong?

I think I’m sad

What do you mean you think you’re sad? You’re either sad or not sad

Its not that easy

Whats not that easy?

I dont know...
I think I’m just lonely
I hate being alone

Well you’re not alone. Right?
I mean you have me at lest

Yeah but its different

Hows it different?

Idk its weird

Trust me I already think you’re weird.
Tell me

I don’t know.
I want so badly to be loved or someone to love but everytime i get the chance i ruin it
I’m my own worst enemy

What do you mean?
I love you.
So does your mom
And your dad
Plenty of people love you

Yeah but its different

How?

I want someone that I can hold.
Someone thats always there
Happy and sad
Thick and thin
Someone that I can just hug and it won’t be this weird semi-romantic/semi-friendly hug because its already clear that they’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with

Dude you’re 17
You’ll get that someday
For now you just gotta wait and make the most of each moment
Have fun with your friends
Maybe have a few flings and just relax

But I want that now
I’m so ready to be in love

Don’t worry it’ll come eventually

I know
But it just ***** living right now
I’m so lonely

I have this pain  
I have never felt before  
I don’t know why  
I only feel it when I think about you  
Your face and your smile  
Your eyes and your hands
I don’t know why it had to be
I try to stop thinking about you  
But I cant  
It’s like I have an image of you  
As the wallpaper of my brain
I still have your sweater  
From that dreadful night
The night I felt as if my heart  
My heart was going to jump out of my chest
But instead of it jumping out of my chest  
                                                                    I gave you my heart  
The first day  
That we began our short adventure
You pulled at the string  
You tore at its seams
When you returned it to me  
It was all broken and torn  
Maybe this is the reason  
My heart feels this way
I remember those dreadful words
They left your mouth and hit me as their target
I don’t love you anymore
That has enough power to knock the strongest of us down
Just like how you knocked me down
I still love you though
I will love you till my last days

Dizzying intoxication,
torturous obsession,
what could a fourteen-year-old know about addiction?

It never stops,
for one,
it's like an ugly mythological cyclops,
with an eye only for a prize,
wishing it had two eyes,
so it could see more of the world.

Dizzying intoxication,
torturous obsession,
hooked on clenching jaws,
riding on the high of fixing each of the wicked flaws,

Who said that this is not an addiction?
A terrifying one, but maybe they all are...
Addicted to pain of emptiness, both physical and mental,
leaving nasty scar upon nasty scar.

I regret falling to the addiction,
of sick and thin,
but like I said, I'm here to win,
so I'll succumb to addiction...

No matter how many people I talk to
No matter how many times I remind myself that you don’t like me
You still find your way back into my heart
Crammed into my every thought
I can’t escape you
But, then again, I don’t want to