All I wanted was a
       little more appreciation
             and all I got is
           much more pain

             All I wanted is
           to be your friend
             and all I got is
                ignorance

            All I wanted is
        to embrace you in pain
             and all I got is
             cry and strain

           All I wanted was
       a glimpse of your sight
            and all I got is
             lonely night

          All I wanted is
      a few words to share
         and all I got is
     you don't even care

         All I wanted is
       to cry at my top
        and all I got is
           silent sob.

Exhausted yet I carry on, boots grind with each heavy step I take. I trudge through bones of fallen men, whose hearts I had to break.

Wings that used to carry me, now lay as a reminder on my back. Haunted by the ghosts of lovers, who once counted all I lack.

The wind whispers names of honorable men, who survived yet I left broken. Names not worthy of my poisoned lips, that have parted but not since spoken.

Beautiful in reflection, but color fails to hide. This heart of frost that beats within, that so long ago shattered inside.

They stand in line and follow me, yet I tell them with regret from the start. If this was a fairytale, I'd be that twisted witch without a heart.

the voices around you grow to a roar
a crescendo of celebration and excitement
the heat from everyone surrounds you
a blanket of sweat and musk
the fireworks in the sky keep exploding
a breathtaking show of glittery brilliance
the weight in your heart sits
a sisyphus boulder that never seems to go away


*you're standing amidst the countdown crowd right at the city centre with all these overjoyed and possibly drunk people, the cheers erupt with each fresh firework blossoming yet in this humid climate all you feel is the wind blowing, the chilling pinpricks of a light drizzle. you remember how you love fireworks- their spark and the heart-in-mouth explosions and it all turns to dust in you because you can't find any joy in them now. lately it seems like all you have is dust.