Molly

Molly Apr 2014

10w

I still don't know
how much of us
was real

#love #lies #sad #lonely #fake #relationships

Molly Apr 2014

This is the Last Poem I Will Write about You

I saw you holding her hand today
and I almost smiled at the two of you
but I stopped myself.

It's been two weeks since we've talked,
and I almost called you last night
but now I'm glad I didn't
because if you are with her now
I probably seem like the clingy one.

Funny how things change.

I remember when you used to talk about her,
you said she was your favorite person in the world
and I tried to act like I wasn't offended
since you were finally talking about something good.
I could tell by the way you smiled
when you told stories about her
that she made you happier than I ever could.

That's what you need:
to be happy.

I am glad you have her now,
and she can make you happy
in the ways I couldn't.
I want you to be okay.
I hope she can do that for you.

God knows I tried.

#love #sad #lonely #memories #breakup #movingon

Molly Mar 2014

This is Not a Metaphor

You still have a necklace
made of plastic beads
from a girl you thought you loved.
You have a rubber band you stole
from your best friend's wrist
before you stopped talking.
You haven't touched your Rubik's Cube
since the last girl you had over
turned the tiles
into a flower.
This is not a metaphor.
You keep these memories
stored in material things
on a shelf.
This is not a metaphor.
Your closet is full of bottle caps
from the glass containers you shattered
in self-hatred.
This is not a metaphor.
You find these relics
when you clean your room
or search for a flashlight,
you clutch them to your chest
and sob
for lost love.
This is not a metaphor.
You say you can't get rid of them,
you're too scared of forgetting,
but remembering breaks your heart
more than the event you're looking back at.
This is not a metaphor.
You are destroying yourself.
You say you can't live
with all these regrets,
you say you don't want to go on.
**This is not a metaphor.

I wish he could just let go.

#suicide #depression #regret #memories

Molly Mar 2014

10 Things I Will Tell My Daughter

I.
If a boy teases you,
he is a ****.
Stand up for yourself.

II.
It is entirely acceptable
to wear brown with black
and silver with gold.

III.**
If it is three a.m.
and you still don't understand the quadratic formula,
go to bed.

IV.
When you get your heart broken
(and you definitely will),
ask yourself if they are worth crying over.

V.
By all means,
whenever there is rain,
go outside.

VI.
You are not a girl,
you are a person.
Behave as such.

VII.
Dress however you want.
Dye your hair unnatural colors.
Wear men's clothing.

VIII.
Have seconds.
Eat dessert.
Eat second dessert.

IX.
Love until it hurts,
and then ask yourself
if it is still worth it.

X.
Always be truthful,
gentle,
and fearless.

#love #strength #daughter #advice

Molly Mar 2014

Neil deGrasse Tyson Has Ruined My Sense of Wonder

I am trying to write a poem
about the way stars shine
but I keep realizing
that what we call stars
is really only light,

and I am trying to write a poem
that isn't about you
but I keep realizing
that what I thought of as you
was only the parts you cared to show,

and I am trying to believe in magic
and miracles
but I keep realizing
that I am only wishing on light
and the word love has a definition that fits in the dictionary.

No offense to Neil, I love Cosmos, the universe is ******* cool. Not magic. But cool.

#love #empty #stars #light #magic #cosmos #miracles

Molly Mar 2014

Hieroglyphics

Some people are so comfortable with their past;
they wear demons on their extremities like tattoos.
I am not one of those people.
I have scars that will never see the light of day,
they are painted on my legs like hieroglyphics
depicting an ancient battle.
The summer sun will never kiss that skin,
it will remain translucent white,
protected from ultraviolet rays
by fragile excuses.
I have scratches from ghosts
clawing their way out from the inside,
striving to make themselves real,
to be noticed by the outside world, screaming
"this pain
is not
metaphorical".
In my family you are supposed to play your strengths,
never let your weaknesses be known.
In their eyes I am a suit of armor.
My knees are shaking beneath pale thighs.

#depression #summer #selfharm #scars #insecurity