A moment cuffs you in the face
like Newton's overstated apple,
and the evening dissolves
into sharp, steady resolve...
You think about the extra drink you should have drunk,
the song you should have sung
and the man whose touch y so missed...

The Muse had disappeared.
**** Muse.

Every time you try to find news you want to *****,
not just a little, but expel the very core of emptiness out of you,
and you picked a fine time to stop swearing
because there is a man whose feel you have so **** missed...

The stars continue to twinkle across the Northern Sky,  
oblivious to the bouncing of our big Blue Ball,
un-answering dreamful wishes;
though, there are other stars lying closer to your heart,
a fresh start and the barbells below...  
And you realize
life is found in the letting go...

And the Muse reappears, smiles an aching, wondrous, Hello.

Sitting silently
by the
old willow tree,
I heard a knocking
through the thick,
rustic bark.

My thoughts drifted,
thawing the frigid
quiet in my mind.
For there was naught behind,
nor in front,
of the old willow tree.

"What could it be,"
my mind asked me.
"And from where is it coming from?"
And then, from above,
there was a deep, low hum.
A light flashed, and I was
blind.

I don't have to go anywhere to know
Not anymore
I've often wondered
Am I on the wrong side of the sea?
Not if it means a mothers love is the same
Of all the places I've never been
The clouds still rain
And the skies cradle the sun and moon
Nobody knows how much I listen
My words are my ears
Then I know enough to have traveled far away
But I did it standing right here

I am holding onto you like an old cloth bound book
A short story just slightly out of time
Brief, nostalgic
Some distant dream I will never get to live.

You swim in my mind like a lost buoy I can no longer reach
Slowly floating away further, and further
Till I can only grasp a momentary glimpse of it,
between the waves of memories.

I regret ever letting it go this far
Ever letting you go.
But even if you stayed,
I knew you were never going to be mine,
As you were anchored to the sea.
While I am just swimming around you,
trying not to drown.

Still,
I tread,
Struggle to stay afloat in the same spot you left me
Not giving into the pull of the abyss
Just in case you were brought back by the turbulence,
the turbulence of time.

Tonight,

I looked at the stars like I do every night,

and I cried.

because this time,

I remembered

that some of them are dead.

and I realised

just how envious I was,

that I was not as beautiful as a star,

even though,

I too,

was still there.

yet also

so

very

dead.

I love the way your lower front teeth form a perfect curve
Like a smile within a smile
No longer being together and reminiscing on all that's lovely about you
Is sometimes self destructive
And makes it hard to imagine holding anyone else to the same standard
But actually it doesn't need to be a bad thing
If I know I can love everything about a person
Even an American accent
Then I can start to do the same for myself
And love my own quirks and peculiarities
Feed my own ego
And love myself
Just as I love you