She sat still as her eyes followed the trajectory of the smoke rising from
The inferno of her ragged
But easy going heart, reminding
Her of how he would always
Release the cigar smoke in her ears
And whisper out slowly, You and I are Exactly like this cigarette, ignited,
And together we are like this
Smoke, streaming above, and how
She'd smile at him convinced,
Never releasing until now that
He was the billowing cloud
And she, the ashtray.

My silence is not, and does not
Represent, the inadequacies of
my adeptness and my knowledge,
Nor does it undermine my capabilities
Of paraphrasing primary thoughts
In verbose, scholarly manner, no,
It does not, can never, didn't ever
Mean that I am not opinionated,
For it is upon my discretion
Whether you are worth debating with.

I wonder how others like their music
While I try to listen to every element of a song
Dissecting the cacophony of sounds
Appreciating what I didn't hear before
Do they dance when I lie in the dark?
Do they just listen or sing along?

I wonder what stories others enjoy
While I read a book over and over again
Excitedly the first time, rushing to the end
Slowly the second, savoring every sentence.
Do they like fiction? True stories?
Do they like to tell them or to listen?

I wonder (with amusement) what others do with their ideas
While I put them into the poems I write
Cursing my vocabulary for failing me
Struggling to find words every **** time
Do they post them on social media? Write in journals?
Do they keep them in their own minds?

Are they like me somehow?

I can feel my cranium cracking,
Hear a high G ring in my ears.
I can't stop my stomach churning
But I can still hold back my tears.
I can't keep my head on straight
But dreams won't take me hostage.
Instead of sleep's limitless estate,
I'm in pain's cruel, ****** cage.

She always wondered if
they cared
Always wondered if
it was all a
game of pretend...again
She found it hard
to trust
after all the
pains from days long
run away
We
always wondered how she
could produce the sweetest
of tunes just by entering
the room with
the brightest of smiles she
carried on through
her days
not a soul
knew of the past that
blazed
At times she felt
inside so
crazed
with heartbreak and
betrayal but she,
Determined to be a Light
shined brightest
when it mattered

The graveyard is
filled
With Men who
thought
they'd see another
Day