I must've
    been the
one
  that caught
you
   while you were
falling from heaven
   because it feels
like there's a
******* crater
   inside of my
         chest.

i love your heart,
i love it because
it dwells on beauty
and bravery and gold.
i love your heart,
because your heart
has learned to love
its brokenness.
i love your heart,
because your heart
looks beyond and
finds light in the dark places.
i love your heart,
because your heart
hasn't stopped loving,
because your heart
refuses to be disappointed
by what it finds in this world,
because your heart
hasn't given up,
because your heart
still believes in grace
in love, in kindness,
in wonder and light.
i love your heart because
it keeps beating.

start
at the
beginning
just to
follow
you to
the
end
over
  and
over
  and
over
  again.

We place ink on paper
The way we swallow a pill,
Hesitation,
Fear of bitter taste and
Dissatisfaction,
Failure to expel what truly
Eats us alive.
We try to wipe away the fever that stains
Our body
The way that the ink stains the pages,
Seeping through and latching on
With no hope of removing it
Until we grow a deep immunity,
A force that dissolves all absolute
Decay and bacteria
Until we are clean.
One dose of imperfection
And three moments of inspiration a day
Will make you healthy again

I spend my days
Trying to purge you from my head,
Banging my head against the wall,
Rinsing acid around my mouth
To burn away the sour taste you
Left with those poisoned lips of yours,
Sprinting for miles to sweat out the fever
You planted beneath my skin when you
Touched me,
Throwing myself off mountain tops
So that the air would steal all traces
Of the fumes you left in my lungs
When you kissed me.
You are tainted,
Bad blood that lines
My veins with cyanide,
A knife in my back
That burns as the blood
Trickles down.

There lay appeal in you I can’t get near
beyond what I could ever hope to be,
inside held back by this old faceless fear
yet you exert control o’er most of me.

Alone I wonder if I had dreamed you
inside the broken piece of my own head,
but rather than a view of stars anew,
addictions to an outline that won’t shed.

A whole year on hiatus for you friend,
internal bleeding from one-sided strife,
alone with all these countless wounds to tend-
I figure it’s time to let you live life.

Tonight my eyes forego some of their shine
because in dreams alone will you be mine.

A double sided day.
One of joy,
one of pain.
The torrential ticking
of time passing.
The never-ending questions
of what to do,
what to say?
Never mind and ignore
that which makes you sad.
Instead remember and wish for
that which makes you glad.
One plan,
one goal,
battered and beaten
it still holds strong.
Forgoing loneliness
for internal company.
Ignoring those around
for sheer simplicity.
But what can you say?
“It’s better this way”?
As perpetual concern is raised
for a clearly addled brain.
Longing for that one redeeming moment
of and otherwise bleak day.
As the minutes begin to stretch
and hours fade away.
Can’t anybody see
how demoralizing
such a day can be,
or how much pain
a lonely face
has had to face today?