Held back so many tears, I'm afraid to cry.
I might drown in the overflow of pain I've hidden deep inside.
Sometimes it dawns on my heart,
making it beat unkind.

My lungs start to quiver,  I'm dying on the inside.
Held back so many tears, why do I even try.
Been battered by this world and my thoughts,
maybe it's time.

Let it all go.

Dissolve in yourself.

Tired of reading the world and trying to figure it out.
I just want to sit and breathe, and be myself.
Without worrying that this chair might not actually be a chair.
Can I just be ?

Can I just exist without anxiety ?
I fear this world,
this big scary world.
Having a hard time trusting this reality.

My vision goes blurry from the insanity,
but i blink it away and swallow the cry.
Knowing that one day it will be alright.
One day I won't wake up scared to face this sentence.

Truth is I'm all alone but I am completely surrounded by life.

Months of sweating
vetting every word written
Shivering over all
that remained hidden

Rocking back and forth
Recognising the demons scream
Asking to be fed more
Inside of empty dreams

Then the words, they spill
from cracked and broken lips
bleeding onto tissue paper
inking stains of fatal trips

Then comes the rush
a verbiage of torrential pain
Crouching on a backlit screen
pockmarked with finger stains

The first spike of adrenaline
fizzes inside a broken mind
The churning end to a journey
that has completely left you blind

Collapsing in upon itself
is the high that's found a low
and when the reader is gone
You wonder where you'll go?

Perhaps you'll find a new pusher
Someone else to feed your pain
Someone that will dig that needle
deep
even deeper into the vein

Life is like a journey of a million miles,
Starting very simply,but complicated.
Conception first then birth that breeds smiles,
Adolescence steps in with its own troubles to be daily contemplated,
Adulthood too with delicate dignity and pride,
Life can be rough but its a long beautiful ride,
Life then offers its glorious crown in grey,
Something to take pride in,
And never disguise..
A show case of wisdom from deep within,
And a sign to never despise..
Not all see this glory,
And so if it is upon you,consider yourself blessed,chosen.
For nature took its time and watched you proceed with deep lessons steadily.

you probably think you drained me that afternoon
stole the last bit of hope I had that love is more than bare bodies pressed against each other in the dark
but I still have the same fire in me I’ve had since I was six years old
hearing my father slur his words at 2 am while I pretended to sleep, trembling hands and sweaty palms until we make it home
and I swore I’d never choose a bottle and a hollow heart over someone I was meant to love
but if I didn’t need a man then to show me I was worth more than empty promises and inconsistent affection
what makes you think I’d need one now?

Little girl with wide blue eyes
Dreams as boundless as the skies
Surrounded by dust and dead ends
Waltzing in a land of make pretend

Freckled, fervent and coy
Twirling past the neighbor boys
When she moves, she slips away
Lost in a smile and a happy place

Left to wander the desert dry
Alone and forgotten no matter what she tries
Looking for affection in an empty well
Fading echoes of forgotten church bells

With her reveries she swiftly dropped
A leap of faith and the whole world stopped
Warm blood and dampened grass,
A mangled foot and a binding cast

In dark days she prayed for help
Wanting to step and perform
Not ready to give up her last chance
To take the stage by way of dance

Ten years later, she's swaying
and twice as stunning as before
Sculpted cheekbones and brooding eyes
Grabbing audiences by surprise

She's reborn a star of the movies,
With a new name and tiny waist
Pretty young flapper with a striking face
The little girl has finally found her place