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I tend to get lost some times,
not in a take a left turn and end up in the next state sense.
In the sense that I get distracted.

And by this I mean I get so attached to new interests and hobbies,
I immerse myself so fully other pieces that dont quite fit disintegrate.
In this sense: being so passionate about many things I lose myself in the process,
I take 12 left turns to get back to square one.

However I always find square one,
no matter how far I am from my original destination,
I always find a way to fit the pieces together so these aspects integrate.
But these moments are few and far between,
I am always disconnected finding my matching edges,
and there are times I try and cut my corners to mold myself into a puzzle.

It can be hard to see myself clearly in these moments,
I can seem distant and angry,
depressive and unnattached.

Because when your edges are being stuffed into a box to small or too large,
you struggle to find a sense of normalcy.
You're being pushed and pulled apart,
to fit a shade that isnt yours,
expecting to find a color that matches your tone.

But you will find your tone.
Maybe not today or next month,
or even in 5 years,
but puzzles were meant to be solved,
and nothings impossible if you just find the courage to keep trying.
You will find your edges,
your pieces will be one.
By the time it becomes visible
I'll have been in hell for quite a while
Tight mittens binding up my hands
Tempered wince behind the smile

Moist cement ...three feet deep
And a mind that won't think straight
Clumsy and slow...trudging along
In a fogged deficient state.

Simple things become so great
And the pain won't let me be
Slumber 14 hours long
Meet the new..unimproved...ME.
For anyone who suffers from chronic pain and for those who love them....so that they might understand.
You grabbed my chest and ripped it open,
Until my heart- all I was, fell on the linoleum.
My lungs were full, so with careful precision,
You used a scalpel and made an incision.
For an agonizing time I waited...
As you slowly took me apart and left me debilitated.
You looked at my parts and with a close inspection
You tossed out the ones that weren't perfection.
Then you began to reassemble me, with parts that were new.
While you repeatedly told me how much better they would do.
I believed all of your words and didn't question it.
But once they were in, my chest hurt, and they felt unfit.
I wanted them out, and my old pieces back.
But you said that wouldn't work, I couldn't back track.
Now I'm stuck with pieces that don't fully fit me.
Because I fell into the worlds description of who I should be.
Do NOT conform to what the world thinks you should be. Be you. Be the person God made you! And love it with all your heart. Because you're His masterpiece.
I told her I'd never fallen in love
with an alien before

She gave me an odd glance

And then I told her she was out of this world

She chuckled and smiled

And at that moment
it became evident

*Her lips don't even have to touch mine for me to get lost in them
i feel like a soul
trapped in a body
that is trapped in a mundane, sad life
and i need a weapon
to break this body open
so that my soul come spilling out and i can be free

oh what should my weapon be?
so many choices
so little time
before the time bomb in my mind explodes
leaving me a mess of thoughts and emotions
resurfacing repressed memories
makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop
the demons have been let out of their cage again
and they're here to play
tugging on my heartstrings
constricting my throat
crawling under my skin begging me to join them
it's so easy, you can do it i know you can just hold on tightly, pull the trigger, that's right, you're doing so well
we'll see you on the other side
The bilateral sided face
displaced from time

Sequestered
Half hostile
while the other half
discontented

My mind unlocks
recollections
strewn emotions
faded photographs

Shattered fragments
of my life

Alarmed by unknown visions
reflections of me

Conflict that comes from depths of mind
dusty colours are all I find ...

Struggling to find a singular reflection  
To seek my journey, to an inner peace cry
that radiates the mind’s ever piercing eye

Could I be afraid to dig deep too
find the courage, only to reap ...

The goodness residing for love to stay
enriching my life; no longer grey.
This is about struggling with your inner self, split personality.
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