When you feel lost;
Hopeless;
Disconnected from yourself
When self-belief and ambition slips through your fingers
Think of the young girl or boy you once were
The innocent, impressionable child with so much promise
He or she does not deserve the abuse you subject them to
They do not deserve to be downtrodden and picked apart by the very one who knows them best;
You

Somewhere along the way I lost that little girl
I forgot her on my journey to self-destruction
I abandoned the dreams she had and the motivation to bring them to life
I banished her from my mind and became focused on the empty shell I was building for myself
I grew absorbed with misery and self-pity
I forgot to nurture that girl so that she could save me from myself
So that she would remind me of what I owe her

Yet, someday she would again take the spotlight
And she would revel in her revival
She would strip away the years of neglected dreams and build them into a reality
Just as she would destroy the empty shell I built in her absence
She would reunite herself with those she loves and cease my loneliness;
Hell, cease her own loneliness and abandonment of herself
For she is worthy of everything she ever wanted
Every far-fetched desire and optimistic goal
She would remind me that I am not lost nor broken
Because she was with me all along
I just forgot to let her grow with me

You know those tears I so often shed?
They are but beads of so many emotions yet also the absence of such
My eyes leak until they are tired
You think these tears make me weak
That I am ruined
Yet I weep for I am tortured
I weep for I am grateful
I weep for I know not how to live without such intensity
I weep for those I cannot help
I weep for those who lost the battle I continue to fight
I weep for the ones I love and the love I won when I met him
I weep to cleanse my body of all evil
But mostly I weep to remind myself that I am still alive
My heart beats even when it is hurting
My soul sings louder to compensate for the times it has been crushed
For it wishes to be heard above the chorus of supressed hopes and dreams
The fear has made me a coward, you say
But no, I persevere
Despite the trepidation you fail to understand, I remain
To weep and be heard weeping is strength like no other
To be vulnerable in the face of judgement
In the presence of such paralysing fear that holds you hostage and mercilessly lingers
Is to be an injured soldier in the war that is life
But to never surrender

I hurt
I hurt but I have no reason to hurt
Other than I am human
I tell myself “others have had it worse than you”
“You don’t deserve to feel this way”
“How dare you”
The guilt I ****** upon myself settles into my skin like an infected wound
Digging itself deeper and deeper every day

I no longer allow myself to feel the things I do
Because if I do, I am a fraud
I am selfish
I am undermining those who suffer greater pain than I
Those who have lost the ones they love most
Those who’ve had their hearts broken by supposed soul mates

Yet, in my heart I know my emotions are pure
I hurt because I am human
And simply being human permits me to feel what I may
My tears are justified
Along with my laughter and beams of joy
I am allowed to feel

I am not depressed because I am human
I am human because I am depressed
I am human because I cry
I am human because I care
I am human because I feel guilt
And pain
And compassion
And strength
And fear

Give yourself the right to be human
There is no need for any other label
You deserve to be cared for
Not only by others
But by yourself
Set the guilt free
And you will set yourself free