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Nov 2014 · 1.4k
Young Mother
Melody Nov 2014
I see her baby kicking,
and she makes me want to cry.
Her teeth so yellow, but her smile so bright,
and her stomach so swollen.

Her stomach adorns my hand--
There is a slight quake beneath the surface--
reminding me of a bumpy road on a bright yellow school bus.

I question the young mother's decision--
if it was a decision at all--
or if it was a consequence or result or bad memory.

"Maybe I'll learn to be a victim of this complex 'system' of thoughts,
babies guarding instead of being the guarded," she says.
Was there a choice at all?

I wonder if this homeless baby will be fatherless--
in a mother-full life.
What will this baby think of its mother?
Its forever youthful, street living mother...
Thank you for reading. Let me know your thoughts.
Nov 2014 · 517
Your Smoke In The Sky
Melody Nov 2014
Breathing down my neck.
Can't get enough.
No where to go back to--
no place to scream home.

Scratching down my throat--
the burn just won't stop.
No way to prevent
the pain that is
eating me.

Biting up my body.
Just got to get the money.
No other way to leave this life.
I'm breathing and
the poison wins.

I'm fading away--
blowing in the wind--
burning up my years--
pouring like the rain.
Fading away
like your smoke in the sky.
Thank you for reading. Please be courteous to leave criticism.
© 2014 Melody
Nov 2014 · 432
Thinking In Circles
Melody Nov 2014
I don't know how to...
I don't know what this...
I don't know how this...
I don't know where...
I don't know.

I suppose if I don't know how to think...
I suppose if I don't know how to think this...
I suppose if I don't know what to think...
I suppose if I don't know what to think here...
I suppose I just don't know.
© 2014 Melody

Thank you for reading. Please leave criticism.
Nov 2014 · 3.2k
Blending In
Melody Nov 2014
I sit and I listen;
I stand and move accordingly,
I bump shoulders with no apology--
I am simply blending in.

I stand and move accordingly,
I bump people with no burdens--
I am simply blending in.

I bump people wiping rain off their tears--
I am simply blending in.

I am simply blending in
I am simply blending me in
I am simply blending me in
I am simply blending my in


I am simply blending my end.
Thank you for reading.Tell me your thoughts, please.
© 2014 Melody
Jun 2014 · 626
Fifth Quarter
Melody Jun 2014
There lies a door with a lock-
its home on the wall, floor,
or even the heightening ceiling.

We spot it once at birth;
a solid color painted-thick or thin-
in the first quarter.

We meet it once more in love;
a pattern traced-bright or light-
in the second quarter.

We lean against it for support when
trouble tramples hope- crying or courageously-
in the third quarter.

We lie within its threshold when we die;
red fate string -too long or too short-
in the fourth quarter.

We won't depart until with the door
the lines between are colored silver,
and we await the fifth quarter to reveal a hidden truth.
Please tell me what you think.
© 2014 Melody
Jun 2014 · 24.2k
Born A Stalker
Melody Jun 2014
My name is Darkness.
I have a contract with light,
so I can be seen in corners and alleys.
I follow you because you follow the plight
and I will let you carry me, as long I can catch you.

My name is Evil,
I have a contract with good,
to add balance to your soul and
let you see my horns and many thorns.
I stalk you because you are one person, not a people.
I will let you hold my hand, as long as I can run ahead.

My name is Moon,
I have a contract with Sun,
because I need to ignite the night
and show you that I can shine just as bright.
I wake up because I like to watch you respite.
I will let you sleep as long as I can turn out your lights.

My name is not Darkness.
My name is not Evil.
My name is not Moon.

My name is Shadow.
I have a contract with light,
so I can be in corners and alleys.
I'm glued to one person, not a people.
I may have horns and I can have thorns.
I will hold your hand, and even let you run ahead.
I won't watch you fall, but I cannot catch you.
I will let you sleep as long as you keep on the light.

My name is not Darkness.
My name is not Evil.
My name is not Moon.
My name is Shadow.
I was born a stalker.
Please tell me what you think.

© 2014 Melody
Mar 2014 · 1.4k
With The Body Gone
Melody Mar 2014
With the body gone, I
No longer see a beautiful bust,
Notice the tears with free release,
Begin to know thousands of new feelings.

With the body gone, you
Cry and cry,
Mourn and mourn,
Sob and sob, some more and more.

With the body gone, he
Internally breaks and fails,
Externally stays strong for a man must not be seen crying,
Protects his daughter's pure body of innocence.

With the body gone, the World
Is one man short and three men larger,
Working to cover its unknown loss,
And keeps moving like the gears of solar powered clock.

With the body gone, God
Takes the soul,
Holds it carefully in his hands,
And admires the man who put the money on the table and said "here."
Written 3/16/14
Mar 2014 · 4.4k
Diary of Dance
Melody Mar 2014
She
points her
toes in the shoe
until the crease scars.
She won't fall until the script
says to do so.
Breathe.
Pause.
Now
Fall.

The
doll models
the Pas De Quatre
buried within act two.
Toes fall and up and jump
and flow.

She
recites the
moves in a secret
Diary of Dance:Swan Lake.
Breathe.
Pause.
Now
Fall.
Breathe.
Get up.
Smile.
Bow.
Now
cry.
Thank you for reading. Please tell me what you think.
Jul 2013 · 883
With Death We Do Not Want
Melody Jul 2013
Children running towards such greatness,
Adults slowly backing away to much darkness.
As we began to breathe we thought
such light was beautiful; as we start to age
we do nothing but think of it as evil.
Can we make up our indecisive minds about what
is wrong and what is right; about what is
dark and what is light; what is good and the bad?

As our bones grow up strong, science proves that
they are meant to die weak. Because
even if we die by a hit and run or a crashing bike,
then our bones are meant to break; we will fight for
our lives on the edge of a death we do not want.
If it's life we do not wish for, and we are on the
brink of giving up, then life we shan't have
and we will die like a present under the
family's outrageous Christmas tree, a present
too large for Santa to fit under its leaves.
Because on the edge of the unseen cliff, we
know that we won't go down without a fight,
but we understand and don't understand the meaning of
"sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me."
Melody Jul 2013
I know I'm falling,
quickly, quickly dripping dripping...
Leaking, lacking, losing...

All the sins that I've committed,
bodies piled up at my front door.
I can tell that Hell is welcoming,
calling; the home is quite enticing.

The failure getting worse,
the failing is failing;
life is completely scarce.
I'm leaving the world with many scars;
scathing, burning, burning, crashing, dying.

The skulls and feet- buried beneath one another,
like the ashes of the Holocaust.
The witnesses rare as daylight in a cave.

The flamed gates are creaking open,
rust catching in the forever red lust of evil.
The death of my deathly deeds awaken me,
chilling me, stating "you will now die,
and recede to deep depths of Hell,
while life above continues without you."
I realize that that my name is society,
and the I am a murderer readying for its
last, awaiting, final goodbye.
Jul 2013 · 608
A Tired Dream
Melody Jul 2013
You awoke me when you closed your eyes.
You play me like a cassette tape.
You turn me off like a boy's saved video game.
I am young, and I am now a baby.
I see the world with light like a shiny new camera lens.

I feel like I'm getting used to this.
Same job for some fifteen odd years.
I keep thinking I might quit, but I probably won't.
We are so slowly aging, seeing things that we can't erase.
I am slowly dulling, like a rusty knife, waiting to crumble at your feet.

I can't wait until you start believing.
Tell him how you feel and start seeing better things.
I've got twenty more odd years until my greasy retirement.
Time is slowing down, and this image is getting to the both of us.
I am more bored than before, like a baby with colors but no wall.

We are just about ready to fade, to let the ashes run away.
You've been married for thirty years,
And I've stayed by your side since you saw your first light.
I've got wrinkles and scars, and you've got this last breath.
I think it is about time that I tell you, that I am a tired dream.
Jan 2013 · 630
It's Time That We Stop
Melody Jan 2013
"There is nothing better than an empty head,
a clean house,
and sweet sweet reality",
we think.
"There is nothing better than an empty head,
a clean house,
and sweet sweet reality",
we say.
"There is nothing better than an epic party,
a screaming crowd,
and sweet sweet false lies",
we do.

It's started the time that we stop,
we stop and think about the things we say,and do.
There are somethings you hope for out of want,
and other things you hope for out of need.

It's time that we stop and we think.
It's time that we stop and we see.
It's time that we stop and do the things we think.
It's time we stop and do the things the eyes cannot see.
It's time we stop and look at the things that we tragically need.

The world is a selfish place, and it's time that stop.
We stop and think about it.
We stop and observe it.
We stop and fix it the best that we can.
If there is one thing that humanity is neutral in all conflicts,
it's fixing.
We never completely solve the puzzles,
But we always solve it to our best, usually.
Have we ever really thought, that just maybe...
There is an additional piece or two to the jigsaw,
The piece that makes the swing set sturdy.

It's time that we stop and think.
It's time that we stop and we see.
It's time that we stop and do the things we think.
It's time that we stop and do the things the eyes cannot see.
It's time that we stop and look at the things we tragically need.
It's time that we stop and look at things and never back down.
It's time that we stop and finish the things we were born to complete.




© 2013 Melody
Melody Jan 2013
Just wait,
be patient.
He'll come eventually.
He'll come and take the trait.
Just be patient,
and play the game of immortality.

We play the game of immortality.
We refuse the drink of swimming cells.
We refuse to imbibe the rich red wine liquid.
We do not carry allergies of the sun
We do not hold a heart with no beats,
And yet we play the game of immortality.

Swallow.
Breathe.
I promise pain.
An eternity spent with me
as your queen.

© 2013 Melody
Jan 2013 · 2.6k
Broken Ankle
Melody Jan 2013
Snap.
No longer able to run.
Cannot catch the ball.
Pushing.
Running on adrenaline.
Doing what I love,
Risking my one true love.
Snap. Again.
Broken ankle.
Goodbye, my love.


© 2012 Melody
Melody Jan 2013
Chop...Chop...Chop...Chop...Chop...
Laugh.
Murdering is an art!
It takes caution, skill, and smarts.
It also takes a weapon.
In the case of murdering, you can say...
that technically a human murders every day,
may not be of it's own kind, but...
we **** other living things every single day.
Do we see them?
No, maybe, possibly, I don't know. Do you?

I am...
Jack the Ripper!
I ****** prostitutes,
women who defile their bodies by
showing off their ******* and bellies...
and innards...to lost men.
I don't know why I **** this specific kind of pray...
but I do...And I know its fun teasing the media.
Maybe I should start murdering the men too...
Sneak into the room while their...going about their business...
...Never mind...That's a nasty thought...
Murderers care about that kind of thing too, you know?

They do not cry.
They don't have time to cry.
They do not scream.
They do not have time to scream.

I slice their throat first,
which means I win from the start.
Then...Save for my third,
I drag their innards around their bodies
like...fuzzy neck boas.
I take no souvenirs...It would cause a havoc...
A havoc I prefer not to have...

Chop...
Chop...
And laugh!
Chop...
Chop...
And laugh!
Chop...
Chop...
And laugh!


© 2012 Melody
Jan 2013 · 714
Foul Murder 3: Monster
Melody Jan 2013
Mommy!
I don't understand. Why is the room so quiet?
Why is there ringing in my ears?
Why is there red water surrounding you?
Do you want me to clean up the ketchup for you?

Mommy,
I'm not going to get it of you don't tell me.
Are you okay?
Does is hurt anywhere?
Why aren't you breathing?
Why do you smell so bad?
Why are you so pale?

Mommy,
I think I hear the police sirens.
Maybe they can help!
Stay here Mommy!
I'm going to save you! I swear!
Wait...
Why is there a gun in my hand?

Mommy!
I'm sorry!
I didn't mean to shoot out your eye...

Mommy!
Why did you die?!
It's rude to ignore an invitation to a royal tea party.
Didn't you hear? If you do that...
The queen sends you to a death sentence...

Mommy!
I'm sorry!
I made your eye
go bye-bye...
Just like Daddy...
What's wrong with me, Mommy?
Am I a monster?
Like the monsters underneath my bed
and in your closet?

Yes...
Child...You are,
A monster.

© 2012 Melody
Melody Jun 2012
Character: Myself, or Melody, Mel
Setting: Time is now, plain dark room with a stage and a single spotlight in a light blue light shining on me.

------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------------­------------------

I've asked myself before; why do I write the way that I do? Why do I continue writing the writing that reminds of the scary inspiration that if I let it get out of control then it could become my reality?
I've answered myself before; I don't know, I don't think I will ever figure out why. I don't want to know.  I can control my future, my destiny, my sanity...

No, and that's the truth. I will never be able to control my sanity! I'm weird person, with an even odder persona! I hate myself because I'm practically throwing my words onto a computer screen and not into a book. I'm hoping, hell I'm even praying (to the best of my ability) that by time I become something it won't be too late!

Have I ever asked for help? No...If I did, it was for a ******* topic, because I was desperate to get the greedy and clawing and tear-bringing words out of my system. I wanted to know what others thought that I could write. They wanted to read novels of which I had written, I told them I can't write a novel. I write poetry. ....Now I know that I can write anything I want.

My eighth  grade Theatre and English teacher taught me that writing a monologue is like drinking tap water. You stare deeply at the glass knowing that you need it, but it tastes so bad and the after-taste leaves an even worse taste but the after-feeling is like heaven in your mouth, the feeling of being regenerated to maybe not perfect health but you're alive and that's all that will really matter.
That's what writing feels like, and I would know because I was the one person who fainted at 8:00AM last summer from dehydration and lack of sleep.

I always have some error in my words. Whether a few lines need to be shortened or split, or even forgetting to punctuate. OR, oh and I'm famous for this in English class essays, run on sentences. It's odd though because I get told to edit it to make it even more perfect, and I never go back and touch it. I mean, sure, sometimes I do, but even that's normal for me to do.



I write the way I do because I'm terrified of a perfect poem written by me. I'm scared of getting a perfect 100 but if you hand me 99 I promise my right hand that I'll be happier than a dog with a fresh bone.
I write because I felt loved and then the chain broke and I felt hated. That hate, made me feel welcome to a whole new world. That world is called...

The World of Words.


And it's decorated hilariously because the city sign in big and flashy like Las Vegas but the stores and shops are either out of the most bizarre world or from another time.

I love writing because there's always something that's needing to be written about. It's an endless world of different flavors. The flavors of which I could add to my glass of tap water, but I refuse to because I think it'd be considered cheating.
This is obviously a personal monologue. It's about why I write the way I do.
Jun 2012 · 620
So You Think You Can Dance?
Melody Jun 2012
So I hear,
You think you can dance?
Well, I'll show you a dance you have never danced before.
It starts with no music, just my solo and that's about it.
My feet will jitter like the wings on a lady bug.
My knees will shake like the Great 1906 quake.
My hips will move like slow crashing waves. Back and forth, back and forth.
My heart will beat a steady beat like a metronome in band class.
My breath will hasten like a car on a free way.
And my eyes will smile like a dog welcoming his long lost master.



So I hear,
You think you can dance?
Well, I just showed you a dance never danced before
I don't know. I don't want to know.
Jun 2012 · 950
No.
Melody Jun 2012
No.
You told me that you would be there for me, were you?
No.
You told me that if I went blind then you would be the one to lead me, were you?
No
You told me that if I cried that you would slap me,did you?
Yes.
You told me that if I died for you that you would continue to live happily, did you?
Yes.
You told me that all things are meant to be,
You told me that if one door closes then you would just open it again,
You told me ..
"Yes, I love you with all my heart."



You told me that you would be loyal, and I that I should trust you.
You told me that we are soulmates and that meant I was supposed to be in chains to serve your sorry ***.
You told me to never leave the house because you would bring the wedding papers to me.
You told me that we could have that sweet apple red 2010 Camaro with white racing stripes down the middle.
You told me that we could have my dream penthouse and your dream pool.
You told me that you would sell all of your **** magazines.



Wanna know what I told you?
No.



I told you, when you finally let your guard down,
That I didn't want for you to be there for me,
I didn't want you to be the one leading me when I went blind.
I didn't want you to be the one to slap me to get me to stop crying.
I didn't want you to continue living happily when I died, I told you I wanted to be the one living happily when you died.
I didn't want all things to be inevitable.
I didn't want you to be the one opening up the same door over and over again, I wanted that to be me, just with a different door.
I told you,
"No, don't say that, I want you to hate me."


I didn't want you to be loyal, I knew I would never trust you.
I didn't want us to be soulmates so I can be the one that you had *** with in the basement after poker nights.



I wanted to leave the house and runaway not have a permanent pigment change on my finger where your rusty ring was.
I wanted to drive that car by myself, but now that you got it and sat your *** in it, I don't want another Camaro.
I wanted that penthouse to be mine, not ours, I'm afraid of water, why would I want a pool?
I wanted you to keep those **** magazines so I could runaway and tell the police about what you've done to those poor models.



Every time...
I should have told you







No...


But every time...
A yes was what formed....



No..
Not anymore...



No.
This is fictional. I promise. I just wish I knew where it came from...
Jun 2012 · 551
Just Seeing You
Melody Jun 2012
Just seeing you,
makes me want to wish I knew.


Just seeing you,
Makes my face turn not red but blue.


Just seeing you,
Makes me think will I make do?


Just seeing you,
Makes me realize how much my heart is true.


Just seeing you,
Just seeing you...
Just by seeing you....
Makes the world


Stop.
Haha! Feels good to write like this again!
Melody Jun 2012
I killed him
Without any evidence shown.
I wasn't caught,
Only suspected.

He tried to **** me,
he tried to use my womanly parts to make his children to make his ******* family delve further into time.

He was killed by hand,
my hand.
I stabbed him violently in his chest,
And opened the wound and picked out each piece of tissue my slippery fingers would rip from the flesh.

My fingers,
My lap,
my face,
The walls,
and the rope that dangled from the ceiling of which his lifeless body hangs from,
Smothered in such a thick and velvety crimson red...
I think of it as no blood,but yarn.
The yarn my grandmother used to knit her last pair of gloves for the Michigan winter in the 1960s before dying of a stroke.

There was no gun,
no poison,
No witch craft,
just my hands,
And my dad's black four inch black bladed hunting knife and the red gloves of which my grandmother passed onto me.

Dear Officer,
There was no gun, that I left to his ex-wife.

Dear Mam-ma,
There was no poison,
I couldn't get my hands on any.

Dear Papa,
there was no witch-craft, that was just his fortune.

Dear Mama,
Yes, I never remove these red gloves, and there were no tears afterwards just a bright long grin stretched eye-to-eye worn on my face.
This
I killed him,
Because only God and I know how much he deserved it.
A long time ago I wrote one poem, one of the most liked pieces I've written, and it was called FOUL ******. Well, I decided to make it a seried. I don't know how long it will be, but I'd like it to be long. :) Enjoy!
Feb 2012 · 1.2k
Foul Murder!
Melody Feb 2012
I've been caught for

Foul ******.

For a felony of shame.

A tortured soul was buried within,

The lake down the street.

Maybe thirty blocks away.

I've been caught for

Foul ******.



I've commited arsen,

vandilism...

And just about every crime ever even thought of.

I sit in this cell,

With this officer's gun.

Thinking and thinking of murdering this guy..

Snoring as loud as Hades..



I have been caught for witchcraft,

for making potions and poisons.

I am a witch,

a wretch.

You can call me anything.

But I walk these mean streets,

these nameless streets.

Call me anything you want.

But don't be surprised if there isn't a tear shed,

Just a bullet in your head.

Or maybe,

depending on how much I hate you..

Ripping out your spine  and whipping you with it until it falls from the cartilage.

Or draining your blood and ripping apart your bones and muscles,

Then freezing your organs in a meat freezer,

And hanging your vacant body from ceiling of your attic!



Oh!

The excitement this gives me.

Just talking about it!



The blood shall be spread...

From this emotionless body of mine.

For I,

I've been caught,

I've been caught for foul ******!

FOUL ******!

And now I sit in this cell,

with this machete and pistol..

Ready to ****** this man in the most violent of ways...

I will drown him first.

Shoot him five times..

Rip his spine..

Whip him until there's no skin left to be whipped.

And tie his converse shoe string to his head and to his ankles and hang him up on the ceiling and stretch his motionless body..



Oh yes!

I guess I've got my dream!

For I,

I've been caught for foul ******..
Dec 2011 · 3.0k
White Doves
Melody Dec 2011
You cannot fly,

You're just a mere human..

You get wings when you die..




Stop jumping like a wingless bird..

And stand on your feet like a human should..




I am not scared..

So dear white doves..

I wonder if they can reach to tell the Full Moon my..

Lonliness and fright..
Dec 2011 · 551
I Thought...
Melody Dec 2011
I thought...

I was cared about..

I thought I was loved..

I thought I was ready.

I thought I could do this..

Live on..

But I my confidence is running low.

My battery is almost dead and can't get charged..

I think I have lost all my hope..

My emotions are turning too fake..

And now I need..

Thoughts...

Emotions..

Knowledge..

Love...

Courage..
­
I have courage.

Just like William Wallace once said...

Freedom,

And I'm throwing my sword down with me.
Dec 2011 · 636
Your Evil Trance...
Melody Dec 2011
I am lost

Lost inside

Deep down..

I am dust

Dust inside your chamber of many broken

Hearts.

You've broken me over and over

Setting more and more weight

Upon

My poor soul..

She's been chained

To this poisoned wall of..

Your

Pitch

Black

Heart..




I am

Lost...

In

Your evil trance..
Dec 2011 · 496
I Wish
Melody Dec 2011
I wish that..

My love that was thrown away,

And caused my heart to shatter like a broken mirror,

Would come back

And be on this necklace of honor and pride,

Saying look at me,

I came back.

I ran from hell,

Had tea with the devil,

And now I'm eating cookies with only your soul being the main ingrediant.




My hearts made copies when I was little,

They must've known that I would have to fall in love with you

But hey,

Look at me now,

I'm sitting here wishing.

And what I wish...

Is..

I wish

That you'd never come back.
Dec 2011 · 505
Wings Is What I See
Melody Dec 2011
I see her standing there.

As light as a feather.

She's not casted by the light

Or anything scientific.

She doesn't react to weather

But stands there silently.




She's so angelic

Never heard her voice.

But she's heard mine.

She's with me every moment.

She is my soul

I've named her Shadow.

Because that's what she is.




She cringes at the day time

She doesn't like the sun light.

She appreciates the night time

She looks out my window every night

Crying at the moon,

Holding her hand out for stars




And when I try to talk to her.

She unfurls her mysteries.

And those wings is what I see.
Dec 2011 · 858
Sierra
Melody Dec 2011
Sierra,

You're my sister,

And if you're hurt,

And you're in the hospital I think I might just have to conquer my fear.

I've been lost lately,

And I can tell from the last time I saw you,

You've been lost too.

I'm sorry all I could do was make you laugh and smile,

And it might not have been real laughter or smiling,

But you don't deserve the pain you're going through,

And if I could I'd **** all the pain from you and unto me.

Because I think I deserve it more than you.

You've always been there to listen,

You've always been there to free my spirit,

And I'm sorry I never thanked you.

I always did listen to what you had to say..

And I'm sorry philosophical advice was all I could give you.

I remember our funnest memories and our bad memories




Naming the trampoline, Fernanand of course.

Always searching for resources

All the little tea parties we used to have.

Jumping on Fernanand with the sprinklers on and listening to Bon Jovi and screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs.

Sleeping on Fernanand , getting eaten alive by misquitoes.

Sitting under the mushroom at the public kiddy pool.

Seeing all those shadows,

Sharing deep dark secrets.

Our first meeting.

Setting notes under the house mats like we were spies.

Playing tip the cow on Fernanand.

Crying together.

Funny make overs

Sharing books,

Being ourselves.

Being sisters




Our bad memories...




Our fights

Moving ...

And when you're hurt,

I hurt too.




I don't know why you got this pain,

I did not.

When I deserve it more,

Than you.

You,

My dearest friend Sierra.

You did nothing.

Would you still hurt,

If we were together,




Sierra

I wish I could help.

I wish I could come visit you

But I don't think you'd like it if I had to commit ****** in a hospital to do that.

We are attached by soul chains

If you snap,

I will snap with you.

Do me a favor and don't snap.

Never give up..

Shoot for the stars...

Cry when you need to...

Write when you want....

Just because you're in that room,

Does not mean you cannot achieve your dreams.




Your description...

Just a girl following her dreams...




You're more than that..

You're my inspiration achieving her dreams.




We will never lose each other...

you cry, I cry.

You hurt, I hurt.




You don't deserve this pain...

I do...

Sierra..

My dearest friend..

My dearest sister...

My closest friend...

My closest sister....

Please understand..

If I could come and save you,

I would....




To all the world's best, You're the best...

Never forget...

Sierra...

I love and miss you...

And I hope to see you soon..
Dec 2011 · 583
Hopeless
Melody Dec 2011
I just feel like crying..

She doesn't deserve this...

I haven't heard her soft voice in so long...

And I was gone when I could have called her!

I was gone when she was put into the hospital!

Those devilish pure white rooms,

The rooms where everything bad can take the worser of turns!

I just feel so...

Helpless...

Useless....

I can't lose hope..

But I am...

It is all my fault...

I've always been there..

And tried my best to be her sister...

She's in pain and I can't help!

**** IT!

WHY HER?....

I'd visit her if I could...

But ....

I can't lose hope!

I won't lose hope!

EVERYTHING WILL GO JUST FINE!...

Won't it?

I am such a horrible person...

I should have called her everyday to check up on her..




I'm so young...

I don't understand ...

She's so young...

She doesn't deserve this...

I do...

I let this happen..

I'd **** the pain from her if I could!

But I can't!

****!

I feel so helpless..

Useless...

Hopeless...
Dec 2011 · 767
Hope
Melody Dec 2011
Once I'm down,

I always come back up.




Once underwater,

I always revive myself




Once crying

I always smile




Once sad,

I can get happy again




Things happen for a reason,

And I can't let go,

Because I can't lose hope.

Hope is by my side,

It has never lied

It has never let me die.

I will be the first to cross the finish line

My end is no where near

I can't let go of her soft hands,

She is my inspiration,

My heart,

And my sister,

No matter the game of twister,

I won't let anyone diss her.




She helps keep me alive,


She gives me my hope,

I will never let go,

It's the least I can do.




Hope,

You're always by my side,

You have never lied,

You have never let me die,

And I thank you for always being my guide.




Hope,

You're always by her side,

You have never lied,

You have never let her die,

And I thank you for always being her guide.
Dec 2011 · 578
Calm Or Wild
Melody Dec 2011
My emotions have been

either calm or wild as can be.

I need to learn to control them,

Before I end up hurting somebody

Once again




There is no doubt

I feel like a bother to everyone else

WIll I ever get the feeling of love

That I have never once tasted?

Will the gates to my soul ever let me through?

When I be myself?

I want to meet Melody.




My emotions lately have been

Either calm or wild as can be.

Can you tell me how to control them?

No.
Dec 2011 · 558
My Style And Taste
Melody Dec 2011
I was lost, but now I'm found.

I was dead, but now I'm alive.

I was dry ink, but now I'm fresh.

I was dangling from a vine, but now I've been picked.

I was wrong, and now I'm right.



I hadn't realized that my writing simply wasn't barefaced

Now I've realized it's got taste,

It's got an angst.

It won't forever be in gluey, fluidy, paste,

Stuck to a wall and never embraced.



My poetry from before,

Simply wasn't eyesore,

But it was just that I never caught that that was the fish I had adored.



But now that I am shooting in the range

Of words I'll never rearrange

But now I know for sure and forever that my style and taste  can never change.
Dec 2011 · 472
Pain
Melody Dec 2011
The pain won't subside...

It's not something I can rid of with a simple pill...

I've brought this on myself,

If only I knew how.




The pain won't subside,

It feels as if metal is quickly scraping against cement ..

With the sparks flying..

I wish I knew why...




This pain in my chest...

It's making me sad...

It's making me lose hope...

It's making me want to cry...




The pain won't subside,

I know I brought this upon myself,

But if only I knew how...

Why this is happening...




This isn't mild...

It's driving me insane...

I may need a break,

But I won't take a break from poetry or life...




I cannot share this with anyone,

Or else the dragon will burst through,

The dragon of my heart's flames.

This pain is causing me to ache...

It's something I cannot simply just cry out...
Dec 2011 · 452
Mind, Soul, Heart
Melody Dec 2011
I've been wasting my time,

I don't have anything to do,

I don't have anything to write about,

So I have to go so far as to force myself do so,

It's certainly weird.

But just by this happening I know I'm like any other writer...

At least that's what I hope.



I know indeed it's not writer's block,

It's inspiration block.

I know what I need for myself,

I need to let my mind run it's own track,

And let my soul do what it wants,

She hasn't been talking much,

She must be bored from life right now,

I don't really blame her,

Because I know that my life is pretty boring,

But I won't let it get in my way.

Not at all.



For now,

I'm letting my mind, soul, and heart,

Run it's own track
Dec 2011 · 774
Changed.
Melody Dec 2011
I don't know what happened..

You've got me confused..

You got rid of my love for you..

So now are you happy?

You got rid of my happiness..

So are you really happy?

Are you ready to feel my anger and hatred that's ready for you?

I'm sorry I won't let go.

I won't let you go.

I can't get rid of the love.

I can't get rid of the hatred..

For now..

You're just an aquantience..

Something that's hanging by a thread.

I know how to control.

I know how to choose.

I won't come after you.

But now can you see..

I've changed.

I hope you will have

Changed by the next time I see you too.





This anger..

This sadness..

This confusion..

This frustration..

These bottled up emotions are supposed to be eating me from the inside to the out.

But..

Well..

I've changed..

I won't be manipulated.

I've got things I need to live to solve.

I've got things that are important to me.

I've got things that I care about that the likes of you just wouldn't understand.

Because you're a person who hurt me.

You hurt me the most.

I think..

I know who you are now.

You're the other side of me.

My one weakness.

The other half.

My missing piece.



Wait...



You didn't hurt me the most.

I don't think I know who you are.

I know who you are.

You are my weakness of weaknesses.

You aren't my other half.

You aren't my missing piece.

I'll crush you to pieces and use you as crust for a pie I've got stow away.

I'll crush you smitherenes so you'll never reverbeat inside me again.

Because ..

I'm living for the things I've done.

For the sins I cannot repent..

For the sins I can't bring myself to forget..And to regret.

For the things I've said.

And for the things I've thought.

And for the things I care about the most.

....



.....

...

Honestly..

Haven't you noticed by now?...

I've changed.
Dec 2011 · 4.1k
Rainbow Rain Drops
Melody Dec 2011
Have the flower in your hand,

Cupped in rainbow rain drops.

See the electric wires blaze at the joined up parts,

Cupped in rainbow rain drops.

Feel the river's setiment move up stream,

Cupped in rainbow rain drops.

You cry and speak this rainy dew,

But does it mean anything of sentiment value to you?



You had the flower in your hand,

Cupped in rainbow rain drops.

You saw the electric wires blaze at the joined up parts,

Cupped in rainbow rain drops.

You felt the river's setiment move up stream,

Cupped in rainbow rain drops.

But do they mean anything of sentiment value to you?



I saw you have,had,feel,felt,see,and saw these special things,

But you never showed any attention to them.

Maybe you just sit and hide your thoughts from me,

Maybe you just can't notice these tiny details that happen every minute of everyday of every year.

Maybe you haven't discovered these miniature rainbow rain drops,

That you're covered in from head to toe, yet.

But you are cupped in rainbow rain drops.
Dec 2011 · 622
I'm Here.
Melody Dec 2011
You've lost it,

The complete mentality you once had is now gone.

You're calm and collectiveness was severed when she said those hateful words,

But honey,

Don't forget,

I love you too,

I mean it,

I'm not scared,

I'm just scarred,

But I'm here.




Honey,

I'm here,

Never forget.
I don't really know why I wrote this.But I know this is what other people say when something bad happens to you, "I'm here" If I could even say those words to the ones I love,I would. But it's impossible, because saying those words when I can't help, hurts both myself and them. I won't say these words unless I HAVE to.
Dec 2011 · 1.3k
Heart Attack
Melody Dec 2011
Where you are and when you're there,

Is never for me to know,

It's all up to you,

To scream and shout and now your lungs are numb.

Constant ringing and stinging in my fingers,

Keeping me awake with steady pain.

But when my left arm starts to ache I know what's going on,

And when you're not there to help me suffer,

I cry your name and breath.

I close my eyes and now I'm prepared for hell.



Where you are and when you're there,

Is never for me to know,

It's all up to you now.

But when I have this heart attack,

Just remember,

I'm ready for where the pain you caused has put me.
Dec 2011 · 1.9k
Endless Stairs.
Melody Dec 2011
I've learned to settle down,

I've learned to pin pain like a gown,

And when you've tackled the line,

I'm in the end of time,

Because you sit there on the chair,

While I spend my life climbing up endless stairs.


When you turn back around,

I'm laying on the ground,

I look like I'm dead,

When I really just need a bed.

I kick and punch like a little tyke,

And that's when you press dislike.
Dec 2011 · 1.2k
Colorless World
Melody Dec 2011
No matter how much you paint the world,
Or use crayolas or Rose Art to color the world,
The world will be an open canvas.

The world will be colorless even after it's completely colored.
Want to know why?
Because the foot prints we leave behind us stain the earth to color black.

This
World
Is...




*Colorless
Just an idea that popped it's way into my head, and so I colored this canvas.
Dec 2011 · 576
Write Them Out
Melody Dec 2011
The words ..They call me out.

I'm wondering and pondering what I should pencil down,

because everything is calling me out.

The words the word speaks,

the words the human speaks,

the words everything speaks.

If I could write them out without a single flaw in the pencil or ink I'd be angry and never happy.

Because anything that's perfect in imperfect.

Any person that claims to be sane is insane,

Because there is nothing but any kind of insanity.

If you claim you're insane...

Well, then I cannot judge,

Because I am not myself.


But the words they call...

And they say...

Write me out...


Write me out

before I slowly wither away.

Or shudder away petal by petal like tears on small las's face in the rain


Write me out

before I run out of tears to cry.


That is what the words call out,

And they scream so loudly in any place that I am at.


The words ...

They call...

They scream...

They yearn to be written....

They cry..

And they tell me....

To..

Write them out.
Wrote before I went to bed...I'm moderately happy with it.
Oct 2011 · 1.9k
Black Ink Pens and Scribbles
Melody Oct 2011
I sit and I scribble,

With black ink pens,

Black ink pens and scribbles,

I scribble and I ribble my single given life away.

And when I shower,

I wash the ink off my hands,

and clean the deepest paper cuts down to the ends.

It stings and it rings,

But so do my pulsing fingers

And beating heart.


She sits at a desk

with black ink pens and scribbles.

Black ink pens and scribbles.

She scribbles and ribbles her single given life away.

And when she showers,

She washes the ink off her hands,

And cleans the deepest paper cuts down to the ends.

She stings and she rings,

But so do my pulsing fingers


And beating heart.


I sit and I scribble,

With black ink pens,

Black ink pens and scribbles,

I scribble and I ribble my single given life away.

And when I shower,

I was the ink off my hands,

And clean the deepest paper cuts down to the ends.

It stings and it rings,

But so do my pulsing fingers

And beating heart.


I die with this pen in my hand,

And my book of scribbles below my head.

She dies with her pen in her hand,

And her book of scribbles below her head.


I die with this pen in my hand,

And my book of scribbles below my head.
May 2011 · 604
Poisoned
Melody May 2011
Sleeping a peaceful sleep,
Poison was poured,
Poured into the poverty of life.
From love to hate,
To hate to love.
The poison was poured into the poverty of life.
May 2011 · 517
If You Were To..
Melody May 2011
If you were to hit me with a belt..

I probably wouldn't learn my lesson,

But I'd make it improved more than most



If you were to be my best friend

I'd give you hugs everyday,



If you were to leave,

I'd wish upon a wishing star,

For you, and only you, to come back



If you were to scold me for being late

Well I'd probably be early next time.

And then you'd scold me more for no apparent reason.



I could go on with If you weres

but what matters most

is that no matter what you do,

I'm going to do what I believe in.

It's just who I am.

Sometimes I can say I am proud of,

Sometimes it DOES NOT come in handy.
Apr 2011 · 615
This Life
Melody Apr 2011
This is my life,
but how come I'm not in charge of it?
Do they really think I'm not ready to risk, and take chances.
Do they think of me as base?
They don't really know me.
Nobody does..
I've only wished once that somebody did,
And he did.
But it ended horrific.
He burned my life with his lethal love...
I've wished for him back, but he never appeared.
I want to feel his warm embrace
His hand clasped onto mine.
This life is mine..
I learned to keep myself safe from jerks...
But I'd be so much more happy,
If MY **** was back,
with our hands entwined.
I want him back..
But in this life of mine..
I guess I never will,
Get that one person to come back again...



He read me like an open book..
I guess I just wasn't enough..
I can't hate him..
I can still love him..
But it's not like that..
I can't decide how right I feel.
My heart races when I'm around him..
I wonder,
If he'd like to have another conversation soon..
Because all I want to do is lean into his warm chest and cry and sob my
painful tears...


I just him back in this life..
Because this life..Is my life..
And I can control it.
Nobody else.
Mar 2011 · 1.1k
Aggravation
Melody Mar 2011
I never feel like anyone in my blood family

ever listens..

I've thought of running away from time to time..

But if I did...Where would I go?

How would I survive?

I don't want to wait until I am eighteen years of age

to move from this place they call home..

But what I call the dungeon...

I want to be free like a bird..

With a world coming to it's war-filled and natural disaster ends,

It's the only thing I can do..

I can contemplate that everyone thinks I'm giving up on everything..

Waiting until my not tragic, but proud end that starts a new line..

Life and Death sort of remind me of Neurons..

The dendrites receive the message...

From there it goes through the axons and axon terminals...

There really isn't an end..

Because the end has already ended...

This is aggravation..

Living craziness...

With no deadly end..

No poison to make us leave this world..





This aggravation..

I can't control...

Maybe everyone is right..

Maybe I am running away..

Maybe I am giving up.

But what am I giving up on?

What am I running away from?

Am I running to something?

All these questions..

Remain unanswered..

While I sit in solemn silence...

To purify this..

Aggravation.
Mar 2011 · 701
Terrified.
Melody Mar 2011
I feel a little terrified..

I don't know of what..

But for the past day or so I haven't been feeling right.

Not like I'm sick..

But just like..

I need to run away soon.



I don't know why..

And it's freaking me out.

How do I get this feeling to run away itself?

It's the first time it's happened.

I'm afraid that if I don't get rid of it..

It's going to destroy me from the inside to the out..

Have I always felt this way and never realized it?

Why am I so terrified?!

What am I terrified of?!

I now know..

It's not a who..

And there isn't a why..

It's a what..

I'm terrified of..

My mirror's reflection of my empty personality

My body filled with 5 memorable scars

I'm terrified.. of ..

Myself..
Melody Mar 2011
So every morning my dad fixes coffee and I drink some.

I sit at my desk,

Catching up with everything that I missed over the night.

I pick up my coffee cup,

When it gets above my upper thigh,

I have no idea what I did...

But I spilled a few drops on my lucky Thumper pajama pants.

"Dang it..."

I take a sip..

Then set the cup back down

On the cup's way to my desk..

I spill some coffee on my right foot..

"Grrr..."

I set the coffee cup down a little harder...

And it goes over on my mouse-pad.

I glare at the cup..

This cup has always been nice to me,

I don't know why it isn't now.



So about five minutes later I pick the cup back up again

And once again once it is over my thigh,

Coffee spills over in the same spot.

I take a sip, set the cup down, and look at my pants..

"My Thumper pants are going to have a coffee stain on it."



Still aggravated with my coffee and my cup,

I pick it back up again...

While the cup is in my hand is take a different route to my mouth..

It's almost to my mouth when it drops some more coffee on my pants and pajama shirt...



So here I am in my school clothes,

With left over coffee in the cup..

Afraid to drink it.

I take a sip and I don't spill anything...

I have come to this conclusion:

The coffee and the cup hated my Thumper pants and my tank top.

That was my morning, this morning.
Mar 2011 · 491
If You Were To
Melody Mar 2011
If you were to hit me with a belt..

I probably wouldn't learn my lesson,

But I'd make it improved more than most



If you were to be my best friend

I'd give you hugs everyday,



If you were to leave,

I'd wish upon a wishing star,

For you, and only you, to come back



If you were to scold me for being late

Well I'd probably be early next time.

And then you'd scold me more for no apparent reason.



I could go on with If you weres

but what matters most

is that no matter what you do,

I'm going to do what I believe in.

It's just who I am.

Sometimes I can say I am proud of,

Sometimes it DOES NOT come in handy.
Mar 2011 · 688
A Gift Belongs To A Dream
Melody Mar 2011
Don't tell me through texts,

Don't tell me in letters,

I want to hear your voice tell me

Through wind,light,sky, and stars.

A gift belongs to a dream..

Not me.

Has anyone ever told you..

That you are are their hero..

Their lover...

Their gift that belongs to a dream?



I won't share you

With the deep, blue sea..

I wanna hear you singing to me through my subconscious mind.

Tell me everything I wanna hear.

Like..

Maybe..

I'm not like anyone else..

I'm not as pretty as I look.

Maybe my personality could use some editing.



I won't share you with any other girl

You will be here in my dreams..

For you were gifted to me...

Through my dreams..

You're a gift that belongs to a dream..

And that dream belongs to..

Me.

Forever.
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