i fall back
off the cliff,
time slows as i fall,
the air feels cool,
refreshing
against my skin,
the gray sky watches me
and i watch back,
i close my eyes
before i hit the water
and smile.

why?
i wanted to feel alive.

it crumbled
like a soft cookie,
and i fell.
like a lamb led to the
shearer
i go to my slaughter.

if they are happy,
then,
why should i?

empty,
everything is empty,
one misstep
and you're dead

isolation and
fear
fills the room,
it's cold a dark,
deathly stares
are all that i receive,
the world has become
primitive,
the weak are
left for dead,
the strong
survive,
but the fearful
are the most cruel.

the clear, blue sky fills my vision,
the sea covers my right
and left,
peace engulfs me,
i reach up to touch
the vast sky,
i fly
high into the air,
i aim for the sun
but it is out of reach,
one day i will hug it
and comfort it,
like it did to me.

it becomes me.
i am it.
we blend in harmony,
you and me.

a bird with clipped wings
am i;
no desire to fly,
nor the strength.
i become nothing.
who am i,
now that i am alone?
my mouth opens,
but i no longer have any breath.

the room is filled.
toys,
candy,
music.
everyone is there,
smiling.

i awaken,
and
it's only you
that i see.

like an animal caught
by it's prey
am i.
trampled,
crushed,
small,
used,
and beaten,
discared
without question.
how can i live
in a world
where i do not
belong?