break open my ribcage and plant flowers next to my heart
maybe then I'll be beautiful on the inside

I nothing know, but that only I to know.
Remote of all the turns the world it whirls.
I, prejudice secure, and yet outgrow,
For none I know remorse, but laugh absurd.
Preserve my afterthought before I wait:
A mind is forward by the past but weak.
While pure, it burns aflame, quick trait.
Not to forget, severe, to learn, not meek,
But learned, what will, does good improvement real,
Remembered thoughts advise us still the best
When merged of hope today, and proper seal:
One that is educated, rigor stressed.
I shall regard this post I call my life
As best a fool knowing blind the strife.

Life

Who ever said?
Life Just like a glass bottle and butterfly will never fly out of it
Living in such an emptiness and loneliness which can be glanced through easily
Everyday
We pretend to be busy with what seems to matter

They say some people are born with talent rushing through their veins
They swear some babies are born with a smile across their face
But what about the people who were born with the desire to just leave the world again
The people who were born with all kinds’ diseases and disorders
That makes them different
That makes them the topic to whisper about in the hallways
They suffer everyday in plain jane middle schools
Getting trampled in the hallways, and shoved down the stairs
Some people are born destined to leave anyway
Everyone dies eventually, just some die slower and some make themselves die
The special ones continue to live after their death
Their memory lives on
But then there are the people that no one wants
The people like me. Who when we die, no one will remember, because no one ever loved us.
The people that lie shriveled up in the corner
Doing their best to keep their sleeves covering their wrists
And their heads tilted down, so no sees their tears
Growing up going through the stages of bullying,
being laughed at when you pass the people you thought were your friends
sitting alone at the lunch tables gets so depressing that all you want to do is cry
so you move to the bathroom where you get to hear everyones darkest secrets
I grew up not wanting to live another day
People my age sat around painting their nails and doing makeup
Staring at themselves in the mirror
While I hid in the closet
Making tally marks on my skin
So yeah, I still did the norm
Painted my nails
Wore dresses and did my makeup
But I painted my nails black
And the dresses I wore had to be long sleeved
And the makeup I wore was just to try and hide my imperfections even though the ugly shone through
Commenting hate on all of my pictures
I grew up not having any friends
Without anyone that I could speak to after school about my life
Not even my own parents wanted to hear my problems
Ive grown up in the time where everything was on the internet
While the people my age spent their time on their phones taking pictures of themselves
I spent my time not wanting to spend another second looking at myself
Not wanting to spend another second on my phone because I didn’t want to know what people were saying about me through social media
Commenting hate on all of my pictures
I know that there are tons of people around the world just like me.
But the thing is, nobody wants me
Even the people who share my emotions don’t even want to speak to me.
No one sees any worth inside of me
People say that everyone has some flame burning as a desire inside of them
But mine is the desire to die
I live with the desire to not live another day
And I know there are people like me But I still need someone to love me

I am writing poems to the ghost once more.
The ones that wail in the space
Where my heart once lived.
Where sadness dwells in oceans
And longing drowned in their depths?
Let the ink spill in blue words
like veins onto the paper.
Once you collected all the stars
From the galaxy.
You pressed them into my eager hands.
To guide you through
All the darkness of life you said.
How could I ever stop the gods
from taking you away?
The one who could collect stars.
When you left I folded my heart
into a love letter.
And slipped it quietly into your soul.
To take with you to eternity.
I promised myself to stop
writing to the ghost.
But they are all the
comfort that remains,
So I write to them one more time.
As the dying embers of your stars
fade in my hands one by one.

When She gets ready
She always thinks
'Will He like this? '
Before She puts on
The day's outfit.

In math class
She imagines him
Sitting next to her
Laughing that cute laugh
That She absolutely adores
So She can get
Through the period.

When She lies in bed
She can't ever sleep
Without imagining him
Wrapping his arms around her
Whispering how beautiful
He thinks She really is.

But when He passes her
In the halls,
He sees her as another girl
Blushing in his direction
as He turns his attention
to someone else.
The beautiful, blond skinny girl
With all that confidence and all that perfection
Who can never be with him,
Never hold him at night,
Never love him
The same way
The shy girl
With glasses can.